Page 2 of Fumbling in the Dark

“I know you will,” she says while washing the next dish.

“Besides, won’t it be so much fun for everyone to come and watch me play?” I ask, furrowing my brow.

“It will be the best time. I can’t believe I’ll get to say my son plays in the NFL,” she says wistfully.

Right then, my phone rings. Placing the dish I’m holding on the counter, I pull out my phone hoping it’s someone worth talking to. It feels like since the announcement, everyone in town has been calling to congratulate me.

Relief washes over me when I see Shelby’s name on the screen. I take a moment to walk outside before answering so we can have some privacy. “Hey gorgeous,” I answer the phone.

“Shane,” she snaps back in a surly tone, sending up a red flag. The only time she gets like this is when she’s upset. Then I remember she had a family emergency and guilt hits me. What if something bad had happened?

I take a deep breath and wait for her to continue, hoping that she’ll explain why she’s so angry. She doesn’t. After a moment, I ask her, “I know you had something going on, but did you watch the draft?”

“No. I don’t have time for that,” she says, and it grinds on my nerves when she talks about football like that. Football is important to me, but Shelby has never cared about it. She just likes the perks and status it brings.

Ignoring her, I continue because this is great fucking news. “I’ve been drafted to the Las Vegas Vipers. I was the fourth pick overall.”

“Vegas? That’s far away,” she shrieks.

“Yes. Las Vegas,” I tell her, trying to stay calm. This doesn’t feel like a supportive girlfriend. This feels like something else.

“We need to breakup,” she bluntly replies.

“Wait, why?” I ask, confused as to why we need to break up.

“I’ll never move to Vegas, and I don’t want to do long distance.”

“Shelby, you knew this was a possibility,” I say in exasperation, throwing my free hand up in the air.

“I’ve been planning on breaking up with you for a while now. This is just the perfect excuse.” She says it with no emotion in her voice, but it pierces my heart anyways.

This is not the girl I fell in love with. My family always said that she wasn’t good for me. That she would never support me, that she was just using me to give her status at college. Is she showing me her true colors right now?

My eyes narrow at the empty space in front of me as if she was standing there. I ask the question I’m not sure I’m ready for the answer to. “I thought you said you loved me.”

Shelby laughs manically. “I never loved you.”

Before I can even respond, the line goes dead. My head swims with what just happened, and I can’t help but look to the sky as if all the answers to life will be up there. Being drafted was supposed to be the best moment of my life, and now it has turned into the worst.

“Are you okay?” A gruff voice interrupts my thoughts. Looking over my shoulder I see my two brothers standing behind me. I was so caught up talking with Shelby I didn’t even hear them come outside.

“How much did you hear?” I ask them as I look away and stare out at the land that my parents worked so hard for.

“Enough to know it wasn’t a happy conversation,” Taylor says.

Nodding, I mumble, “Shelby just broke up with me.”

“What?” they both say in unison.

“She said she never loved me.” I repeat the words that broke my heart.

“Fuck,” my brother Cliff says under his breath, then he grabs my shoulders and looks me in the eye. “Listen to me, Shane. Shewasn’t worth it. One day you’ll find the person whoisworth it, and you won’t have any doubts.”

“I loved her,” I say.

“But did you?” Taylor asks.

“What do you mean?”

---