Page 18 of Fumbling in the Dark

“I can tell, but I’m serious, you’re cutting the ends too jagged,” he explains.

My eyes go to the ends of the flowers and I see what he’s saying, they’re all cut in different places, some aren’t even cut all the way through. I take a deep breath trying to release all my anger, because it’s not fair to these flowers for me to take it out on them.

“Sorry,” I mutter, feeling perfectly scolded even though Ed didn’t even raise his voice. Going back to the flowers that I’d almost mutilated, I begin calmy cutting each one making sure that each stem has a perfect cut. Ed sits down on the stool across from me, silently joining me.

After we’ve worked on a few of the flowers, I hear a throat being cleared behind me. When I look over my shoulder, I see that Millie has come into the room, standing in the doorway with a scowl on her face. I’m sure she’s come back here to yell at me about my behavior, but I don’t care, I just return to my work, needing to calm my mind.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see her make her way to her husband and it seems they’re having one of their silent conversations. Then, I hear Ed ask, “Are you going to tell us what has you so upset?”

I stop cutting and look up but neither of them are looking at me. They’re both working on organizing the flowers and cutting the stems. Since they’re not focused on me, it gives me thecourage to tell them, well, at least part of the story. “Sam set me up on a blind date last night.” Or maybe not.

“It was bad?” Millie asks while raising her eyebrows.

Shaking my head, I reply, “No. It was actually amazing.” But I don’t explain any further because honestly, I don’t know if I can stand any more humiliation today.

“Well then, what has you all in a tizzy?” Millie asks, placing her hand on her hip. That’s her sign that she means business. I take a deep breath, ready to uncover my embarrassment. “He’s a famous football player, but he didn’t tell me. Actually, he lied to me about it and I had to find out through an article that was written about us.”

“Oh,” they both say in unison.

“Yep. Oh.” Instead of continuing with any more thoughts, I go back to my work because I just don’t want to deal with my feelings right now.

“Men do stupid stuff, but what if he had a good reason?” Ed asks cautiously.

“There is no good reason to lie,” I snap.

Millie places her hand on top of mine, stopping me from using my scissors. “You’re right. There is no good reason to lie, but all I ask is that you keep your heart open for forgiveness. Love is forgiveness.”

I just nod, because all of snippy comments and words are stuck in my throat. It’s always been hard to keep my walls up around Mille and Ed.Just like with Shane.Nope, not thinking about him.

The next few hours go by and I barely think about Shane because I’m deep in making flower arrangements. Some are just bouquets for people to come and grab for any occasion, others are for weddings and funerals. The beautiful thing about flowers is that they make you feel good, or worthy, no matter the situation.

When the sun has gone down, Millie walks into the back room. “Okay, Janae, time to go home. You can’t hide forever.”

“I’m not hiding, just working,” I scoff. Putting my tools down, I grab my purse from under the shelf, placing it on my shoulder. “But fine. I’ll be done.”

I pull out my phone to check my messages before heading to my car and the only one I see is Shane’s.I’m not ready to talk to him, and I will not be going on that date, I think as I move his message into the trash. Next, I go and block his number.

I just met him. There is no reason to explain my feelings to him. He had a chance and bombed it. I don’t need anyone anyways.

Chapter fourteen

Shane

It’s been three harrowing days since I’ve seen or talked with Janae. I’ve tried texting her to see how she’s doing, begging for another chance, but they never go through. I got the hint when I tried calling and the automated voice on the other end told me that my call couldn’t go through.

She’d blocked me.

I need to figure out how I’m going to get her to go on a second date with me. Maybe I could bring her flowers and try to force her to talk to me? She likes flowers. No, she works with flowers. That’s too pedestrian, I need to think bigger.

“Get your ass over here, Mitchell,” the offensive coordinator yells, breaking me of my thoughts.

I push my ideas to the side and head over to the huddle. “It’s about time,” one of my teammates says to me.

“Sorry, guys,” I say.

“Ok, men, time to get your head in the game. We have our first game in two weeks, and we need to be in top shape.” Turning to me, he narrows his eyes at me. “That means you, Mitchell.”

“Yes, sir,” I answer because the man is right; I need to focus on my game, then I’ll figure out how to get Janae back. This will be my first NFL game so I can’t choke.Because what if she’s watching?

---