Page 6 of Ties of Deception

I pulled the ribbons loose so the litter curtains fell shut on either side, suddenly tired. “Hopefully, I will be able to do even more soon.”

I barely spoke to anyone when we reached the villa, still thinking back to the father’s joy and gratitude as he stared at his daughter. I sat on the laden cushions and asked for a bowl of sliced orange from one of the maids. Somehow, I knew that if I asked for a pomegranate, I would only compare it to that strange flash of emotions and be disappointed.

If my happiness could bring about so much goodness and change so many lives, surely it was my duty to be as happy as I possibly could be. This was something I could do. I would be the best goddess I could be. I would Bless my people and heal all their sorrows.

Chapter

Three

Iscooped up some pomegranate seeds, hoping the taste might trigger a memory or another flow of happiness that I could use to Bless people. But I felt nothing other than the tart, crunchy sweetness I expected. A strange emptiness hovered in my chest. I was becoming used to the ache. I supposed with so few memories and experiences, it was natural to feel adrift until I got to know myself and my world more. It wasn’t normal to be born as an adult after all.

I finished my breakfast while listening to a talented woman play the flute. It was a happy joyous melody that made me think of spring, gurgling brooks, and fields of wildflowers. I still found it strange that I knew what these things were when I’d never seen them.

Two weeks had passed since my trip into Yienna, but I hadn’t left the villa again. Instead, I’d agreed to see petitioners every morning, and Drusella kept a strict schedule with plenty of breaks. The problem was people expected a repeat of the healing of the toddler where ripples of my power had spread far into the crowds, but I couldn’t replicate it. The image of the basket had faded to an emotionless memory. Some days, I stayed happy enough to meet most of their needs; other days, people came and went with little to show for their efforts. The pressure and expectations for me to remain constantly happy were exhausting. It was hard not to feel despondent.

Silvia hurried to my table as I set down the empty pomegranate rind. Ever since I’d called for Flavia to join me in the litter instead of her, Silvia had been overly cheerful around me, rushing to help me in any way she could. I wasn’t sure how to reassure her and hoped she would relax as she got to know me. I hadn’t intended for this to become a competition, I simply found Flavia’s presence more relaxing and grounding. Silvia whisked the empty rinds away and peered into my glass. “Oh, you’re low on orange juice. Let me pour you some more.” She grabbed the jug from across the table.

I held up my hand from the couch where I was reclining. “No, I’m fine, thank you.” I hadn’t meant my hand to catch hers, but she knocked into me as she tried to stop halfway to my cup. Juice sloshed over the rim and onto my arm.

Silvia froze in shock, her eyes wide as she stared at the spilled juice. “I’m so sorry.”

I got my napkin and dabbed away the liquid. “Don’t worry. It didn’t spill on my dress. It’s fine.” I moved the cloth to the table to dry the remaining drops.

Silvia was still staring, then she took the cloth from me. “Let me clear that up for you. I’m sorry.”

The frantic edge of her voice made me stand and get out of her way. I didn’t want to add to her stress. Across the room, Flavia arrived with a bowl of water and a towel. She placed them on the low table. “You may want to wash your arm so it’s not sticky.”

I obliged, though it had only been a few drops. I checked to see that my dress was still clean, then glanced back at where Silvia had been. She’d disappeared along with the dirty cloth.

Flavia bowed her head, returning my attention back to her. “My lady, are you ready for the petitioners?”

I dabbed my lips with the towel in case any of my breakfast remained and nodded. “Can the flute player come too, to help my mood?”

Flavia’s lips formed a conservative smile. “I am sure she’ll be honored.”

I stepped through the pair of pillars that began the walkway to the petitions room. Drusella was waiting by the door in a dark blue, expensive-looking dress that accentuated the brightness of the tall gold headband pushing back her hair. Her hands were folded before her, and I noticed that her skin looked younger than when we had first met. She normally met me here each morning to brief me on who I was seeing.

Today, her small smile seemed to hide a more serious, determined expression. I was growing to be wary of the hidden emotions around me. I suspected she was worried about something.

“Lady Purity, how did you sleep?”

I smiled as if I didn’t suspect anything was amiss. “Very well, thank you.”

She looked down and squeezed her hands. “I’ve decided to cancel your morning petitions. I hope you don’t mind.”

My breath caught in surprise, and I opened my mouth to object, but she interjected quickly. “Don’t worry. They’ve all been rescheduled, so you will still be seeing them. But Purity, you’re very young. Please don’t emotionally exhaust yourself. You’re still learning what makes you happy. At the moment, your Blessings…well, they’re not the most reliable. I know you want to help people, but the best way to do so is by concentrating on your own wellbeing, which will improve your power to Bless others.”

I took a deep breath to argue, but with rising frustration, realized she was right. The sinking feeling of failure arose before I could stop it. How could I be so bad at my single purpose here? A sharp noise echoed from the floor beside me. I realized one of the beautiful checkered tiles had cracked.

Drusella stared at it with wide eyes. “Maybe two days recuperating would be better. It’s normal to take days for rest and leisure. You’re doing too much too soon. It’s not a reflection on you. Graces can live immortal lives, you know? They can only be harmed by severe physical injury. You have no need to rush. No time restraints. Some families keep their goddess confined for a whole year before expecting them to Bless people. Please understand, Purity. Your emotional wellbeing has to be everyone’s priority.”

I nodded. What she was saying made sense. I was just…disappointed in myself? Upset for all those people I could be helping? My mood sank. As a goddess, I just felt like I should be…more.

I returned to my main room. The flute player looked confused as she scrambled to keep up. I sank down into the silk cushions of my couch and accepted a glass of wine from Flavia. I looked around. “Where’s Silvia gone?”

Flavia licked her lips. “She’s gone, my lady.”

I frowned. “Gone where? Was she unwell?”

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