I brought up my knees under the covers and pressed my forehead to them, trying to make the memory clearer, clinging desperately to the fragments of the dream. When I had thought of Ethen’s name, had I been eager to see him, or saying it out of accusation and anger? I couldn’t tell. All I knew was that the pain in my chest had felt very real.
I chewed on my lip, rolling it in and out from between my teeth. Had Ethen been a bad match for Snow? Was Ava’s warning justified? His men seemed to love him. But why had their accounts of Snow been so hard to relate to, yet Ava’s had triggered a memory?
When nothing more came, and the dream only faded, I gave up trying to analyze it further and concentrated on falling back to sleep. Even Ava agreed this game I was playing was dangerous. I had to rest for my mind to be sharp.
Morning camewith a disconcerting lack of routine. Without petitioners or permission to leave the palace, I had very little to do. I could only spend so much time sitting in my rooms talking to Flavia—I liked her a lot, but she wasn’t one for stimulating conversation. Besides, I wanted to be productive.
I wasn’t sure of the proper etiquette for calling on another Grace, but I decided to visit Constance’s rooms since Flavia could easily find out where they were, and Constance had been kind to me, helping me secure my place. She might be more inclined to give me information and include me in her circle if I showed willingness.
I followed Flavia down the extravagant halls satisfied by how much each urn of ferns and orchids bloomed as I passed. A servant walking in the opposite direction gasped as they found something apparently long lost in their pocket. I smiled. It was good to finally feel in control and not worry that I was about to break something.
Flavia indicated the gilded doors that were otherwise unmarked. “I’ve been told these are Lady Constance’s rooms. Shall I knock for you?”
I nodded and wondered if I should have brought a gift for Constance. Or would that have been too much?
The door opened and a maid stepped out into the corridor, keeping the door half closed behind her. She bowed her head to me. “I’m afraid Lady Constance is not here, but I will tell her you called. Thank you for your visit.” Beyond the maid, I could see books piled on a table. Medical books on fertility, if my guess was right. Pris had said fertility was her area of expertise. Maybe she liked gaining cerebral knowledge to compliment her powers. Could a Grace’s powers increase in a certain area with knowledge?
I doubted Constance had left the palace, so she couldn’t be far—not if she wished to please the empress, anyway. “Thank you. I’m sorry to trouble you. Do you know where she is?”
The maid kept her eyes on the floor. “She went for brunch in the royal dining rooms with Lady Hope a few hours ago. Since they haven’t returned, I’d guess they’re now walking in the gardens, though I don’t know for certain.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
I turned back down the corridor. Walking in the gardens was as good a way as any to occupy my time, and it seemed a common enough pastime of Prince Sebastian that I might bump into him there as well as Constance. I needed every chance to win him over that I could get. Or win any of the other Graces over, for that matter.
Flavia hurried back to my room to collect my parasol, while I walked slowly down the stairs so she could catch up. As often happened in the quieter moments, my mind drifted to Ethen. Where were his rooms? Could they be near mine? But even if I knew the answer, it wasn't like I could visit him without causing a riot of gossip, and I wasn’t going to scale up the palace wall to reach his balcony. Still, it would be a comfort to know he slept close to me at night.
Flavia returned with my parasol and held it above my head as we reached one of the many wide doors leading out into the gardens. The heat of the sun was barely softened by the sparse shade of the orange and olive trees. We headed to the far side, where thick laurel hedges offered better protection from the sun’s glare, and wide pools lay, cooling the air.
We passed Liberty hurrying down a path in a simple cream dress, and I smiled at her—only for her to ignore me. I wasn’t sure if she kept her eyes forward on purpose or if she was merely too preoccupied to notice me.
I scanned the rest of the area, but apart from a Grace I didn’t recognize holding the arm of a courtier, it was deserted. From the way the couple acted so familiar with each other in public, I guessed they were married, though I was too far away to see if she had tattoos up her arm.
I found a courtyard with a fountain. At its center, a marble statue of a woman towered upward, pouring water out of an amphora. I sat on the wide marble rim and dipped my fingers in the water. The gardens were huge. Even if dozens of people were here, I might never run into any of them. I could be out here for hours, so I might as well try to enjoy the beauty of this place.
As I sat in silence, the sound of water highlighted the dryness of my throat. I suspected the fountain water wasn’t pure enough to drink, and I didn’t want to go back inside yet.
I turned to Flavia. “Could you get me a drink, please? Fruit juice and some iced water.”
She looked around as she handed me the parasol. “Are you sure you want to be out here alone, my lady? Especially now that you’re on the empress’s list for her son. Others might not be too happy about that.”
I smiled and tilted my head in what I hoped seemed a confident gesture. “I’m not too far from the palace, and I suspect there are many guards within hearing range if anything serious happens. And I really do want a drink in this heat.”
She looked uncertain but bowed her head and hurried back to the palace. I sat and listened to the fountain. Now I was alone, it sounded even more peaceful. How strange that Serene had chosen to end her life in such a beautiful place. Would anyone ever truly know what had been going on inside her mind?
A low voice broke me out of my thoughts. Charity. It sounded like she was coming closer behind a garden wall draped in vines, speaking to somebody in a strained voice. Now didn’t seem like the best time to interact with her. I didn’t particularly fancy being pushed into the water or whatever other petty punishment she might give me to make herself feel better, so I slipped off the fountain’s marble edge and walked to the laurel hedges on the other side of the little courtyard. I listened for a while, but the distance was too great to overhear what she was saying—only that her tone was annoyed.
I followed the path between the two tall hedges, choosing a direction at random, and starting to fear I might have strayed into the maze, when the pathway turned and opened out again into another small courtyard.
I immediately froze in shock before burying myself in the nearby bush before anyone could see me. Prince Sebastian had his back to me, and he was talking to a blonde goddess I vaguely recognized. The name Verity came to the forefront of my mind, though I couldn’t be sure. She was wearing a simple green gown with gold leaf embroidery, and though she was facing me, her large eyes were focused solely on the prince as if drinking him in. Her expression was close to worship. Though the bush had dense outer leaves trimmed into a straight wall, the insides were nearly bare with few leaves at all. It consisted of spread out, twisted branches and narrow trunks, creating a secret space with a surprising amount of room. I shifted in the bush until I had a clear view of Prince Sebastian and the Grace, curiosity getting the better of me. They were standing too close to each other. The prince took another step forward, cupped her chin, and kissed her.
I covered my mouth with my hand. What was he doing? There was no way the empress would allow another goddess to join the contest now. The goddess melted into him as he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. Heat rose in my cheeks. He wasn’t promised to anyone and was free to court whomever he wanted, but…was that what he had intended when he’d previously cornered me alone? Had he flirted with me when I was new and isolated to make me feel special, even though there was never going to be a possible future between us since I didn’t meet his mother’s requirements?
Why was he doing this? Was it just for enjoyment since he had a lot of power and Graces were initially so vulnerable? I clenched my jaw as I struggled to suppress the unpleasant mix of shame and anger. Nearby, a planter started to crack.
“Purity!” The whisper was sharp but familiar. Twigs snapped behind me, and a few branches trembled. A hand reached my waist as I half turned to see who was approaching me from within the hedge. Warm breath tickled my ear. “Don’t give yourself away now. Stay calm.”
I frowned without fully seeing Ethen’s face, my body suddenly warm. I resisted the urge to lean back into him. “Were you following me?”