Page 34 of Ties of Deception

In fact, the whole idea that I was somebody who this man could love so deeply felt unbalanced. I had very little to complement his strength. Could he be mistaken? But he was so confident, and he seemed like the sort of person who was usually right. Even if my soul used to be his lover’s, what if the parts he’d loved had been lost? What if the ache in my chest was because my soul was only a shadow of what it had previously been?

I looked down, away from his intense expressions to break the gravitational pull relentlessly tugging me toward him. Emotions came crashing down on me, and I needed to think clearly so I could understand exactly what he meant. “So the Fated used to be raised back to life in the Unseen Lands.”

He nodded in encouragement.

“And returned to their old bodies.”

His voice was soft, and his eyes flicked between mine as if trying to work out what I was thinking. “Yes. They would only be dead for a week or two. But that didn’t happen with my father. His Fated one’s body decayed, yet he couldn’t find her departed soul in the Vale. So he came to Atos to see if he could find it among those stolen to become Graces.”

“Was she the…the same as in her previous life?”

He winced. “She appeared to be, apart from her new body. It was certainly her soul. We who become familiar with the Vale learn to recognize the souls of those we were close to. But it had taken two years for her to be reborn, and an additional nine for him to find her. Some of her memories returned, but she’d been suppressing them since they made no sense to her. I hear most Graces remember nothing at all. She didn’t have the easiest time.” He seemed to stop himself from saying more, and there was pain bracketing his mouth.

I swallowed. “And…the same happened to you? Your Fated lover’s body rotted after her death?”

He was still analyzing every small movement I made. “It did. And I came here as soon as I verified your soul hadn’t entered the Vale. Its absence reassured me that Ismara hadn’t failed in her vow to resurrect you. I knew it might take a few years for you to reappear like in my father’s time, but I didn’t want you to have to wait for me. If you started to regain your memories, I didn’t want you to be scared. And most of all, I didn’t want anyone to harm you while you were so vulnerable. I hated the thought of you being here, used for your powers, completely alone.”

The tenderness in his voice made my chest ache. It felt so strange that it was directed at me. I looked away from him again, pulling at a free thread on my night-robe. “What was her name?”

“Snow.”

Snow. Could that be me? The name triggered nothing inside me.

“It’s an unusual name.”

“In the Unseen Lands, snow falls black and white. You were born on the first snow of winter, your skin was pale, and your hair like the blackest ebony. Your mother found it fitting.”

Snow. Mother.How was I meant to be able to comprehend all of this when it was so far from what I knew?

“And what did Snow do for a living?”

He huffed a laugh, his eyes glazing over as he smiled into the middle distance. “That’s a hard question. A little bit of everything, I suppose. You could never stay still. You were always fighting for one cause or another whether it was hospitals or flood relief or knitting blankets for elderly people or raising funds.” His eyes met mine again; they glowed with fondness. “After the rate you lived your mortal life, you could do with a rest, but I can imagine this new pace of life is driving you mad.”

I supposed it was. Could that be why? I wanted to be productive, but to achieve as much as Snow apparently had…it was hard not to feel the pressure of Ethen’s expectations.

I blew out a gentle breath. “Do I…do I have a choice in any of this? What if I don’t feel the same way toward you in this life as I did in the last? Would you really…kidnap me? Or what if you decide that you don’t love this new version of me?”

His deep breath was ragged at the edges, and I couldn’t help but look back at him. He was looking down with his eyes closed. “The Aidis never kidnap anyone.” He said the words forcefully, as if this was a fact he was tired of repeating. “And of course you have a choice. You’ve always had a choice. My hope is that you will fall in love with me again. We swore vows to each other before Ismara and Ienar to become Fated, and I will always keep my vow. I willalwaysbe here for you in whatever form. But I know you can’t remember the vows or what came before. I won’t hold you to them if you feel differently now. Nor will I rush you if you need time.” His gaze flicked up to catch mine. “We are immortal, Purity, and I will wait millennia if I have to. And I can also give you space if that is what you wish. I want you to be certain about what you want, ideally with all of your memories returned. Only let me protect you from the threats here, even if only from the shadows.”

Suddenly, I was in desperate need of a drink. My wine glass was empty, and I didn’t even remember drinking it. I stood and grabbed a goblet of juice, gulping it down before pouring a second cup. The juice was thick and sweet and cloying, clogging my throat. My hands shook droplets over the table. I didn’t turn back to him as I asked my next question. “So you’ll wait here in Atos until I agree to go back with you to the Unseen Lands?”

I heard sounds of him shifting. “Well, there’s something else I’ve been doing while I’m here. I knew that waiting for you to appear and then resolving things between us could take a long time, and I don’t like to be idle. Especially since you deserve space to process all of this when you don’t have your memories.”

I whirled back around. “What is it?”

He was in his seat, angled slightly away from me. “I hope to uncover how the mortals are stealing souls from the Unseen Lands and filling their own land with Graces. My father’s own investigations all those years ago didn’t get very far until he was forced to leave with his bride. The empire doesn't like us to out stay our welcome.” Ethen grimaced. “Not only does this practice of stealing souls prevent the Fated from being resurrected within the Unseen Lands with her body and memories, it also takes the souls of so many others without their permission and uses them as puppets. It forces them into bodies which aren’t theirs and makes them bring Blessings to the empire. And when they no longer perform as needed, we suspect they are destroyed. You can’t be reborn twice. If you die a second time, there is no place for you in the Vale. Your soul disintegrates in the abyss. There is so much corruption here in the empire, Purity. So much is not as it should be. I want to learn their secret and stop anyone else being reborn and manipulated. As the Aidis, it is my job to protect the souls of the Unseen Lands. And the way Graces are being used here has changed a lot even since my father’s time here. I’ve been learning everything I can about them.”

I nodded slowly. Yes, this seemed to be a way to make a positive difference. Even after such a short time in this world, I could tell that something was deeply wrong among the Graces of Atos. “I want to help.”

A knowing smile with a strangely savage edge spread across his face. “I hoped you would say that. You might not remember, but we make a good team.”

The shiver of excitement and expectation that ran down my spine was all too real.

He held up a finger. “But if you change your mind and want to return home with me, stepping away from all this mess, just say the word.” He grimaced. “Seeing you caged here has been more painful than I had anticipated, especially when you didn’t even know who you were.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to leave now. I want to help. I want to find out what’s going on and stop more people getting hurt. But I also want to protect the people of Atos who rely on the Graces. Those people in the hospital…they had nobody.”

He smiled and tilted his head fondly to one side as if I reminded him of something. He lifted his hand halfway to my arm as if on instinct before letting it fall.

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