Page 18 of Stars May Fall

I raised an eyebrow and said nothing.

Silence settled over us, but my mood was darker than before. Why did I always have to make unpleasant decisions that affected thousands of people?

Callum fidgeted. “I just wanted you to think about it, Kasten. You’ll want to discuss it with Sophie. It will affect everything.”

I tensed. “I’m not bringing this up with her yet. She has had so little happiness in her life. She almost died. I’ve already had to tell her about her half sister. I want her to have at least a few weeks where she can simply be content.”

Callum tilted his head toward me. “You really think the king is going to give you a few weeks?”

“She needs rest.” A sudden surge of protectiveness made me stand up, suddenly restless. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Sophie, Callum. Nothing.”

He stared into space and took a sip of his wine before pursing his lips and tapping his glass with one finger. “You know, Kasten, have you ever wondered why you were so attracted to Sophie right from the very beginning? And why you’d do anything not to lose her?”

I narrowed my eyes and folded my arms, cautious about where this was going again. Surely it was obvious that I simply loved her.

Callum kept staring away from me. “I think it’s because she’s so good despite everything that has happened to her. You crave her innocence. I wonder if you’re scared of who you are without her. You see her as the north star that stays your course. She is the one reason that you can look at yourself in the mirror.”

I frowned, wishing Callum would talk a little simpler. I paced a few steps. “What’s your point?”

He sighed, took another sip, and finally looked up at me. “What I mean is that if you believe she’s what keeps you good, Kasten, wouldn’t it be a shame if you fought so hard to keep her that you lost that goodness in the process? If in your endeavor to become good for her, you only became more of a monster? And so, you still lose Sophie after all?”

I shook my head slowly, my insides turning cold. “I’m not losing Sophie again. That’s why we’re staying here where it’s safe and shutting our enemies out.”

Callum pinched his forehead and sighed. “Just think about the sort of husband Sophie deserves, Kasten. Think of the things she loves about you. She brings out the best in you, and you her. That’s one of the reasons why you love her. What I’m trying to say is, don’t let her bring out the worst in you now when you’ve come so far. Don’t make her the source of unhappiness for thousands. The source of death for thousands. She would never forgive herself. In protecting her, you could destroy her.”

I stepped toward him, suddenly angry. “The world is not my responsibility, Callum. Kasomere is. Sophie is. You can’t hold me accountable for all the evil that happens out there.”

His face grew sorrowful. “I don’t, Kasten. I don’t blame you for anything, and I agree it’s not your fight. I just want you to think before you do something you regret.” He spread out his hands. “There’s no right or wrong answer. But that power inside of you, it's terrifying. And sometimes we trap ourselves merely by taking little steps.”

I clenched my fists. “If the king orders me to give up the starstone on pain of death, he won’t understand that his request is impossible. I won’t have a choice but to cut us off, Callum. I won’t have a choice in hundreds of scenarios that might happen.”

He looked away and drained his wine. “I know, Kasten. I know. And I will stand beside you no matter what. Because, I don’t think it’s just Sophie that makes you a good person.”

His words hung in the air as I slumped back down into my seat and we silently stared into the gloom. How could he still believe that? If Sophie had died, I would have destroyed Lord Lyrason, the king, and probably half of Adenburg in the process, not caring about the power vacuum I would leave behind.

Sophie was the only goodness in me because my parents had made me a monster. And I would cling to her.

SOPHIE

Irolled over in bed, knocking Kasten’s heavy arm from my waist. He grumbled in response, still more than half asleep. The sun was peeking through the curtains, and my stomach rumbled for breakfast. However, with Kasten’s eyes still closed, I waited a little longer. He needed his sleep; he normally got so little. Who knew how many days and nights he’d gone without sleep last week. Besides, even after sharing his bed for the six days since we’d returned to Kasomere, I still couldn’t suppress the pleasure of watching him. And watching him was far simpler when his eyes were closed so the intensity of his returning gaze wouldn’t make me blush or look away. I could study his face for hours, and he wouldn’t even know.

Normally, I had to share him with unending responsibilities. Right now, I had him all to myself.

I smiled. I was in love with the terrifying general of Kasomere. And he was my husband. And he loved me. It all felt too wonderful to be true. Not to mention I had withstood Father, who’d had his lands confiscated as a result. And Kasten had exposed Lord Lyrason when he had got me the cure.

Everything was perfect. Together, we were invincible. For the first time in my life, I felt strong, and I hoped the heady feeling would last forever.

Kasten opened one of his narrow, deep-set eyes a crack. “What are you smiling to yourself about?” His voice was so groggy with sleep, it was barely intelligible. For some reason, I found that sweet and rolled into him so my back was flush with his chest and he could no longer study my expression. He placed his arm over me and pulled me in tighter, his nose nuzzling my neck.

“What were you thinking about, Sophie?” His voice became clearer and more insistent.

I wasn’t sure how to reply. My stomach rumbled noisily.

Kasten snorted. “Well, that’s one way to tell me. I suppose it's probably breakfast time.” He leaned up and looked at the clock. “Kingdoms, it’s eight o’clock. I can’t remember the last time I slept past five.” He rolled back to his side and propped his head on one arm. The other slid to the dip of my waist. “I always thought I would sleep worse with somebody else in my bed, not better.”

I raised an eyebrow, snuggling deeper into the pillow. “Maybe it's because you pushed your body so far beyond exhaustion last week. Or maybe it’s because you actually went to bed at a sensible time instead of drinking with Callum until four in the morning.”

He pulled a wounded expression. “I don’t drink with Callum until four in the morning.” He rolled onto his back. “He normally leaves around midnight.”

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