Page 94 of Stars May Fall

I frowned. His mother? There was worry in Kasten’s eyes, but he shook his head slightly when I raised an eyebrow in question.

I hid my disappointment at losing two valuable allies so soon, especially since Venerick would be gone shortly after, but they weren’t going to be far away. “You have my permission to depart if you agree to come back when summoned. You are still the general of my armies after all.”

He bowed deeper than I had ever seen him bow to our father. “Of course, Your Majesty.”

I stood and the other occupants hurried to follow suit. “I will adjourn the meeting.”

As the men filed out, I caught Kasten’s arm, lowering my voice. “Is Sophie here? I summoned you both.”

He winced. “She is, but she’s very tired. She needs rest and…” He trailed off, looking away. “She’s in the rose receiving room, but I request you give her space. I was hoping to get back to her as soon as possible.”

Something wasn’t right between them; I could see the sorrow and worry behind Kasten’s eyes. But it was also clearly not my business. “Tell her I said goodbye then. I will ask Callum all the questions I have about the last two days and about your mother. I won’t keep you.”

He bowed and strode from the room. Something about his manner always made it seem as if he were striding into a fight.

Venerick was still shuffling the papers back into his bag. He was staring at me but looked away as soon as I noticed. “You, Annabelle, were magnificent.” The awe in his words made mesmile. “Truly, and honestly magnificent. You led that meeting like you’ve been in here hundreds of times.”

I chuckled. “Thank you, Venerick. And thank you for your most excellent proposal and for agreeing to lead the negotiations.”

He shook his head and waved his hand. “That’s all a given. I’m just glad my treaty is coming in handy. I’m quite proud of it, if I may say so myself.” He finally gave enough of his attention to the paper to slip it all back into its case. He was just so sweet.

I walked over to him and kissed him quickly on the cheek. His cheeks flushed all over again. I took his hand. “I will miss you when you’re gone.”

He looked at me, seeming to drink in and memorize each of my features. Our faces were closer than ever before. I was acutely aware that we were the only ones in the room.

“I’ll miss you too.” He blinked and looked down. “But I’ll be sure to schedule in far more time with you when I get back to make up for my absence. That is, if you can spare me the time with the coronation and all your added duties.”

I nodded. “I would like that.”

He smiled as he stepped back to give himself room to bow, then he escorted me from the room, his hand nestled comfortably on my hip.

SOPHIE

It was our first night back in Kasomere, and I slept in my original room on the second floor rather than Kasten’s at the top of the castle. Right now, I needed space.

I sat up in bed and stared at the blood stain on the sheets, highlighted in the morning light. I felt…numb. Horrible, cold numbness that froze me until I couldn’t move.

My bleed had never come at regularly monthly intervals, even before I’d taken the tonic. And now the shock of seeing bright scarlet on pristine white, made me feel broken.

Beatrice and Lucy had come to check on me when I didn’t ring the bell, and now they hovered awkwardly with fresh sheets in their arms, waiting for me to move.

After innumerable uncertain shared glances between them, Lucy put down the sheets and took a small step forward. “Should I get Physician Harris, my lady?”

I shook my head and finally found the will to speak. “No, I’m well. I’m fine. Thank you.”

I walked to my bath, and Beatrice took my robe. I eased myself into the warm water, the cramps in my stomach already starting. My reaction was ridiculous. Of course I wouldn’t havebecome pregnant after sleeping with Kasten once at a random point of my cycle. It was unlikely I could even have children. But I hadn’t realized that deep down I’d desperately hoped I was pregnant until I’d seen the blood. I was stupid and foolish. And it was selfish of me since I didn’t even know if I could be a good mother. Right now, I wasn’t even being a good wife.

I held my breath and plunged my head under the water, shutting out the world. But it didn’t drown out the thoughts in my head.

What was wrong with me? Everything was fine. Better than ever in fact.

After I was dressed, Kasten knocked on my door and offered me his arm. “I have something to show you, Sophie. Forgive my impatience, but you wouldn’t have been able to see it last night when we arrived in the dark, and now I want to be there when you notice it.”

I swallowed down my emotions until they were safe beneath my smooth mask. I gave him a smile, but I could see he wasn’t convinced by it. Instead, concern grew behind his gaze. He covered it quickly by patting my hands and leading me down the stairs to the back of the castle.

I attempted to be curious, but my mind kept circling back to the emotions I was fighting and not winning. After everything I had been through with my family and Frederick, maybe it was naive to believe I could be whole enough, worthy enough to have a successful marriage. I was treading on eggshells.

My emotions were simply incorrect for the situation. I should be overjoyed that we had defeated our enemies, that Kasten was well and healthy despite losing his vitality. I should be longing to fall asleep every night in his arms and teasing stolen kisses from him in the day.

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