Page 92 of Stars May Fall

She winced. “It’s in your stomach, Kasten. Too big to pass into your intestines, too heavy for you to vomit up. I…I’m sorry that you never had any choice in this.”

I gritted my teeth. “This bracelet blocks haemalcomy poles. You don’t have to give me your vitality any more, but you’ll have to always wear it so you can recover.”

Her eyes squinted as she studied my face as if only half listening. “My beautiful boy. You have become a fine man. I..I love you.” Her words faded away as her eyes closed, and she didn’t open them again. Her breathing deepened, and she seemed peaceful as she slept. I paused to catch my breath, leaning against one of the lime trees that lined the drive. Even when I was sitting down, she felt heavy in my arms, despite weighing next to nothing.

I sat and wept, rocking my mother backward and forward. All the emotions I had suppressed for years came to the surface, and I trembled with the weight of them.

“Kasten, let me take her. She needs a healer.”

I blinked at the voice and looked up. Callum stood with his hands raised, palm up, as if in peace. Behind him, silent as a statue, stood Tara, her black hair gleaming in the sun as she lowered her head to give us privacy. She looked so much like Meena. I wanted to finally be able to grieve for her too.

I scowled at Callum, even as my whole body sagged in relief to see him. I knew I couldn’t carry Mother any farther. “I told you to stay at Highfair.”

Callum knelt beside me, his manner calm and gentle but firm. It was rare to see this side of him. “You did, and I gave you space. Now let me take her.”

“Sophie?”

“She’s awake and seemed well, just tired and…sad that you weren’t there. I didn’t tell her what Lyrason said or where you’d gone. I thought it best that those things came from you.”

I nodded and let Callum take my mother from me. I felt lighter, and not just from the relinquishing Mother’s weight. It was as if the tears I’d finally shed released a weight that had been pulling me down for a lifetime. I’d never been who I thought I was. I’d never just been a problem that needed to be removed. My life was a gift that had been fought for. And now I had Sophie, Callum, Kasomere, and a good queen. I had a reason to use that life well.

I hadn't truly reflected on how precious life was before. A protector only killed when he absolutely had to. That was where my father and Lyrason had gone wrong.

Callum returned to my side. I looked up to see Tara carrying my mother away. I leaned back against the tree. The sun hadmoved farther than I’d thought possible. My tears dried, forming itching, cracked lines down my face. I was utterly drained.

Callum handed me a leather flask of water as he sat down beside me. I drank even though I didn’t feel thirsty. “How do you feel without her vitality?”

I drank deeper from the flask. Callum being here made me feel a little more like myself again. “Weaker. But I don’t think I’m about to drop down dead,” I said dryly.

Callum grunted and shook his head slowly, taking a drink from another flask. That one didn’t smell like water. “You realize you’re the most powerful man in existence, Kasten. It’s just that nothing ever dampens your pessimism.” He patted my back. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry. You should do it more often.”

I attempted a scowl, but I was so exhausted, I wasn’t sure if the muscles in my face were responding normally.

Callum rolled his eyes. “Kasten, draw on the power of the starstone. Let it fuel you like you would a reserve. Draw on it a little bit constantly. You’ll need to practice.”

I frowned at him. “Isn’t that precisely what you told menotto do? You said it was too dangerous.”

He pursed his lips. “Well, somebody once told me he was very, very good at self-control. And you’re not going to be surrounded by people antagonizing you anymore. Just…be careful, all right? Don’t keep drawing more and more. It's a dangerous power, but your body is used to receiving constant vitality. It’s been drawing on it for most of its life. It will be used to regulating a slow trickle of power.” He grimaced. “I wouldn’t say this to anyone else in the world, but I think you can manage this.”

Despite his words, Callum stood up and took a few steps back, his feet spread wide as if prepared for anything. I raised aneyebrow, and he merely shrugged. “If you lose control and need to let out some of the power, aim for Lyrason’s house, not me.”

I sat forward and closed my eyes, shutting everything else out. I drew on the power until it buzzed quietly down my limbs. I wanted more. I wanted so much more. But I resisted. I let it die to a low hum, in case I accidently released an arc of power. And it reached a level where it felt…normal, as if it had always been there. When I was sure I could keep the level constant despite my exhaustion, I stood. Already, my limbs felt stronger. The air was freer in my lungs. I couldn’t help a relieved smile. I felt…normal.

Callum grinned. “Come on, Kasten. Annabelle’s getting very impatient waiting for you and Sophie at the palace. We had better get washed up.”

ANNABELLE

Ientered the room of my first ever war council, Venerick at my side and Jared bringing up the rear as my guard. Father had never let me be in one before. I was so far out of my depth, and I hoped Kasten would hurry up. Since he was in charge of our armies, we wouldn’t get very far without him.

I’d been told he was dealing with personal matters to do with Lyrason, and I dreaded to think what he meant by that. I wasn’t completely convinced he wouldn’t simply kill him instead of waiting for his trial, and that would be a headache when I was trying to enforce stricter, fairer rules on the nobility.

Four people stood around the map in the center of the room. Sir Dejong was one, and he was so clueless, he might as well be absent. The person I was most interested in was Lieutenant Baftly with his years of experience.

I sat down at the head of the table.

Lieutenant Steer cleared his throat and nodded to me with less respect than I was due. “Do you, eh, wish me to update the pieces? We normally move statues around the map to signify the troops.”

I held up my hand to stop him and took control of the meeting. “As you all know, there have been signs of troop movement on the Kollenstar side of the border. Our theory is that they are responding to the news of unrest and the coup in Adenburg and using this as an opportunity to strike while we are weakened.” I paused to let the words sink in. “While we wait for General Kasten to arrive, please update me on the current plans for our war against Kollenstar.”

---