Page 31 of Stars May Fall

I released my breath. Was that it? Apparent pardon for both Lord Lyrason and me so we could just continue as if nothing hadhappened? The king had to be planning something on a much grander scale.

But to pardon Lord Lyrason despite the terrible nature of his crimes, didn’t that mean they had to be working together? The king had to need him badly enough that he was willing to risk my wrath as well as be seen to not be following the law within court.

I listened to Lieutenant Steer with half an ear, my own network far more reliable than this one. It was helpful to note where the misinformation was and determine when we were being purposefully lied to by the king—whether to maintain morale or hide his plans to bias the battle against those of us he disliked—or if the mistakes were genuine.

After several hours of unhelpful discussion, where I remained silent and Prince Stirling talked far too much, we paused for lunch. The king dined privately as usual, but the rest of us chose from several available rooms and requested food to be delivered by servants. Everyone broke into their familiar groups. I walked to the plainest room where I always dined alone.

I sat down in one of the blue silk armchairs that were too firm for my taste and scowled as I heard the door open again. I turned to chase whoever it was away from my one bearable moment of the day, when I saw Lord Lyrason closing the door behind him.

We were alone. The thrum of power inside me heightened. That man truly had a death wish.

He ignored my expression and sat in the second armchair as if we were old friends. He adjusted his trousers so the crease lay straight down his legs. His hair was neat and his cheeks freshly shaven. He didn’t look like a man who had so recently escaped the death penalty.

At length I spoke, unable to contain my rage anymore. “Do tell me. What hold do you have over the king that he is lettingyou get away with this? Or were you merely following his orders all along?”

Lord Lyrason sighed and removed his glasses to polish them. “I would hardly say I have gotten away with it. Kneeling in front of you was by far the most distasteful moment of my life. And I have lost a lot of my income.”

We paused while plates of food were laid on the low table between us. Lord Lyrason smiled and thanked the servant. I just waved them away impatiently.

I lowered my voice and tilted my head. “You have murdered hundreds of people in the most unspeakable ways and you're complaining about getting your suit a little dirty.”

Lord Lyrason slid some potato and beetroot salad onto his fork. He pulled a satisfied expression. “You should taste this. The hazelnuts really bring the flavors together.” He took another mouthful. “You know,Ibarely killed any of my little experiments. Not recently anyway. You and the Red Men did most of the killing.”

I shook my head slowly. “They were dead the moment you used haemalcomy on them. One day, you will be held accountable for what you have done.”

Lord Lyrason scoffed. “What are you going to do? Burn the whole of Fenland to the ground just to kill me? That sounds familiar. Ah, yes. It would be just like what your father did to Whitehill to kill you. Seems like you take after him more strongly than you thought.”

The words hit me like a kick to the gut.

Lord Lyrason smiled. “You're not a good person, Kasten. You were never allowed to be. Your hands are red with blood. So don’t criticize me for the murdering of ‘innocents’. I chose my subjects well, they deserved what happened to them, and my actions have been well-intentioned. One day, you may see the fruits of my labor and be grateful for them.”

I calmed my breathing, choosing not to speak in case I betrayed how much his words had hurt me. I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

The lord sighed. “The king wishes for us to get along, Kasten, for the stability of Fenland. Let’s put on a good show for the other nobles.”

I sneered. “Why are you even here at this meeting? You don’t lead any troops nor are you a strategist.”

He shrugged. “The king believes I may have some helpful insight. We will see.”

I flexed and relaxed my fingers over and over, my annoyance at his vagueness only fueling the anger that boiled below the surface.

Lord Lyrason spoke more praise of the food before he finished and finally left me alone. Part of me wanted to tear this place down around me. I knew I could do it.

But I didn’t want to be my father. What was the point of anything I had achieved if I merely turned out like him?

But what if, deep down, I already was just like him, and there was nothing I could do to change that? There were times where I simply ceased to care: dangerous moments when my empathy for the people who would be collateral damage wore out.

Lord Lyrason didn’t believe I was any different than him, and he could almost convince me. But Sophie believed I was good, as did Callum and the people of Kasomere. I wouldn’t betray their faith in me, even if I wasn’t convinced myself. I wouldn't let Sophie down. Her goodness was my guiding north star, as Callum had put it.

I finished my meal without tasting it and stood to head back to the council room. I would need to talk to Callum and Sophie at length to work out what our next moves should be. Lord Lyrason’s presence affected everything and made our need for information far more pressing.

As I entered the corridor, I caught sight of the disappearing train of a skirt around a corner and a familiar voice. I caught up in three quick strides and grabbed Annabelle’s arm. She was walking with an older woman who I didn’t recognize. Both women looked alarmed at my sudden presence. I let go of Annabelle’s arm and took a step back in apology.

“Princess, have…”

She raised a hand to cut me off. “General Kasten, it is not appropriate for you to talk to me like this. You should keep your distance.”

Her raised eyebrows and the serious line of her mouth indicated she meant what she said. She took the older woman’s arm and hurried away.

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