Page 20 of Stars May Fall

For a moment the words didn’t come, but Kasten didn’t speak either. He just waited, expectant. My skin started to prickle.

“Kasten, I…I…”

The door opened and I startled as Lucy and Beatrice walked in, each carrying a breakfast tray. If they noticed my floundering expression, they didn’t show it as they set the trays before us.

Beatrice bobbed a curtsy. “Ring the bell when you want us to clear it away.”

Lucy beamed. “Enjoy your food. The fruit was picked this morning.”

They both left the room, looking between us with girlish smiles.

I stared down at my tray and spooned the berries and fruit puree into the yogurt. Kasten still didn’t speak, nor did he touch his own food. He was still waiting for me.

I sighed and gave him a small smile, deciding to say something that meant more. “You are a good person, Kasten. The best that I have ever known. I wanted you to know that. You have done so much for me. Thank you for saving me from becoming a halfsoul.”

He looked away, and I knew he didn’t believe that he was good and didn’t know how to respond. If there was one positive thing I could do in our marriage, it would be to show him how amazing I thought he was.

I sipped my tea as if I hadn’t noticed. “Shall we have our usual walk in the garden after breakfast?”

He nodded but didn’t return my smile. Instead he reached for my second hand so he was holding both of them. “You know you don’t have to hide how you’re feeling from me, Sophie. I want you to tell me what you think.”

I nodded, smiling more fully now. “I’m fine. I just struggle to say how I feel about you, sometimes. How I feel about us. I’m grateful to be able to spend another day with you.”

His eyes lingered on mine for a long, searching moment before he lifted his palm to cup my cheek, his gaze turning tender. “I will always save you, Sophie. You don’t have to thank me for that. And I will always be good to you. You have nothing to fear.”

I nodded and took his hand in both of mine so I could turn my face to kiss his palm. I might not be able to share the tangle of my thoughts and my worries, but I felt like Kasten understood them all anyway.

We stepped outsideinto the overcast late autumn day, far warmer and more humid than I was used to in Adenburg. We had barely started our usual walk when Callum ran up to us. He’d been busy the last few days and distracted, but I wasn’t sure what he was working on. Even though he was in charge of running Kasomere while Kasten and I rested, I had no doubt he was working on new inventions.

His expression was cautious. “Kasten, can we talk?” He raised both his eyebrows meaningfully.

I looked between the men and inferred that he meant without me. I struggled with the rising feeling of rejection, which was ridiculous. The two of them had been close friends for all their adult life. They were allowed to have some time together without me. However, I suspected that whatever Callum had to say was important, and I wanted to know.

Kasten’s hand tightened over mine which rested over our looped arms. “We spoke the night before last. We need space, Callum. Can’t it wait a few more days?”

Callum sighed and pushed his hand back through his golden curls while shaking his head. “Kasten, I understand, I really do. But I want to explain my findings. I don’t think now is the best time to bury our heads in the sand. We’re giving our enemies the space to out-maneuver us.”

I looked up at my husband with a frown. “What’s going on, Kasten?” He’d explained very little detail about what had happened when I was imprisoned by Father and then heavily sedated. He’d said Lord Lyrason had been exposed and my father was dealt with. Was Callum worried about the king?

Kasten narrowed his eyes at Callum while he spoke to me, his arm rubbing the top of my shoulder. “I don’t want you to have to worry about these things so soon after your recovery. Physician Harris said you needed to rest.”

I straightened, my curiosity piquing. I wouldn’t let him shut me out again. “What things?”

Kasten’s face remained closed and stoney, so I turned my attention back to Callum. “I don’t want to be excluded, Callum. Can’t you explain whatever it is to both of us? Please?”

Kasten scowled pure murder at Callum. His friend smiled at me as if he were hoping I would insist on being included and plowed on anyway, holding his palm up as though creating a barrier to absorb some of Kasten’s glare. “I can keep things brief. Shall we sit at the table?”

He gestured to the white metal table and chairs on the main lawn and led the way toward them. I squeezed Kasten’s arm. “I’m fine. Honestly. I would rather know what is going on. We’ve had six days to recover. Remember we said we would face things together.”

Kasten inclined his head but said nothing, his expression solemn.

I hung back, causing him to stop. “Please, Kasten. Say what you’re thinking.”

His eyes flicked to mine and analyzed my face for a moment as if deciphering my emotions. “It’s not that I’m shutting you out, Sophie. I agree, I want to work together. I just asked Callum to handle things for a week or two for the both of us so we could concentrate on you becoming well.” He glared at his friend’s back. “I suspect whatever it is isn’t so urgent it can’t wait a few more days. When he discovers things or finds a problem he thinks he can solve, he gets too excited to not share it right away. I…I just wanted us to have space so you can fully recover.”

I understood that feeling of making a discovery that was too exciting not to share. I reached up and kissed Kasten’s cheek. He was back to being clean-shaven, so his skin was smooth. “You trust Callum, don’t you? Well then, let’s trust his judgment on this and listen to him. He probably has a good reason to be concerned.”

Kasten turned his attention back to me, and his face softened, almost becoming wary. Callum was still far enough ahead to be out of earshot. “Sophie, there is something I didn’t tell you, something I did to threaten Lord Lyrason into healing you. What Callum has to say probably relates to it.”

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