Page 102 of Faking It

Then again, it could be that longing for her.

A text message from my father interrupts my train of thought. I scoff at the reminder about a meeting in Florida tomorrow. My agent Ryan sent me a script for the lead role in an upcoming romcom a week ago. Not my kind of thing, but based on our conversation, this movie could clear my entire debt, which means getting rid of my dad. Oh, yes. Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.

I reply with a thumb-up emoji, a gesture I know that he hates, but I don’t give a shit.

Ripping off my cap, I throw it on the seat beside me. My hair falls on my shoulders as I remove my glasses. It lands beside the cap when I throw it, and I run my fingers through my hair to loosen it. It’s not as freeing as I thought it would be. I’m still tense. It still feels hard to breathe.

I clasp my chest and inhale deeply.You’re finally regaining control of your life, Gideon. You’re doing fine. You’re getting there. Just keep breathing.

But several rounds of breathing exercises do nothing for me. The edge is still there. I still feel helpless. I’m not in control. Something’s about to happen, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

Old Gideon had a remedy whenever he felt like this.

Sex.

Not just sex. Bondage sex. To have a woman bound and gagged, hot and ready for my dominance, always gave me a double dose of power. Control. In that moment, I was in charge, and I thrived on it. I loved it.

For a moment, just a split moment, I consider calling an old flame. Just for tonight.

But I won’t.

Another woman won’t give me that satisfaction, anyway. Not anymore. Not when Ana has already ruined me for anyone else.

My body suddenly jerks with alarm as a firm rapping comes on my window. I wind the window down, realizing too late I’m not wearing my disguise. The bride gawps at me. The groom comes up, and his mouth falls open, too.

“Holy fuck, you’re James Carter!” he yells.

His wife palms her cheek, a long bag gripped in her other hand. My monopod. I must’ve missed it while packing up. Crap. I just blew my own cover.

“Didn’t I tell you he looked familiar, honey?” she says to him while handing me the bag.

“You sure did.” He grins, sticking out his hand like we’re meeting for the first time. “I loved you inEclipse. Hands down, your best work.”

“Thanks, man,” I reply, shaking his hand. The bride lifts the hem of her wedding gown and asks me to sign my autograph. I oblige while contemplating whether I should ask that they keep this between us. Without an NDA, I have no grounds to stand on.

Maybe it’s time to stop hiding.

Time to quit fearing my father’s actions. As long as I keep working to pay him back, he can never seize my assets. After signing off on this movie, I’ll finally be free of him. Oh, I can’t fucking wait.

***

Within two days and three meetings later, I’m leaving the film production company with a signed contract for a spicy romcom set for filming in two months. Like the movie I recently wrapped, it will take a chunk of my time, time away from my business.

‘Delay is not denial’, my mom used to say. Walking to the parking lot with Ryan and River, my security guard, I finally understand what she means. It might take me longer to get there, but someday, I’ll reach my goal.

Until then, I’ll be content to go along for the ride.

“Fucking hell. Sir!” River suddenly hisses. The urgency in his tone makes me whirl immediately, fists clenched.

“What?”

I almost lose my balance when he pulls me backward, then pushes me to stoop at the side of a truck. Both men crouch beside me. “Shit. He almost saw us,” Ryan mutters, as River lifts his cell phone.

“Who almost saw us?” I mutter back. River pushes himself up and snaps a quick photo.

“Jeremy. Your investment banker,” Ryan replies.

“The fuck?” I push to stand, and they yank me back down. “What are you doing?” I curse. “That son-of-a-bitch has my fucking money! I need to get him!”

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