Page 92 of College-Virgin & Dark Bully Next-Door

“Why did you say that?” I exclaim.

Chase shakes his head at me. “We can’t give him false hope, Sky. That would be cruel.”

“And that wasn’t!?” I yell. “You couldn’t give him just one day of being happy?!”

“Don’t you yell at me!” He booms, making me sit down. “He needs to get his shit together! I’m leaving in less than a month, and you’re here for five more! You think I want to leave you here with him like that again? Without school to hold you over? Without Bonnie?”

I sniff and shake my head at him. “I don’tneedyou.”

“Don’t you start, Sky.”

“I’m not like you or him. I can be on my own just fine! I handled things while you were gone. I took care of him and myself. I made sure everything was taken care of! I’m strong enough on my own.”

“You shouldn’t have to be!” Chase raises his voice again. “You’re the child! He’s the parent! No one should have to do everything on their own!”

“Oh, screw this,” I hiss, then I storm out of the house, get in my car and scream until I’m breathless.

I want to run away, I want to throw myself at the woods, I want to disappear into the trees and just be done with all of this. But I can’t drive like this. I can’t. Bonnie’s at work. My phone shakes in my hand, but I manage to get Ash’s number up.

Staring at it for a long time, I almost call. I’m so close to calling. Until I see Peter. He waves as if we’re friends, then heads out. I scream again and drive to a closer park, one that I know I can make it to. I follow the trails until I hit my favorite spot, right by a creek. I sit there, trying to focus on the water, to just breathe without the weight of all this shit on my shoulders.

I don’t need my brother. I don’t need Ash. I don’t need anyone.

Putting my toes in the water, I take a few pictures of the stream through the trees, my feet, and post one online. Just proof that I’m alive. I shiver and hug myself. I stare at Ash’s shirt. I guess it never made it to the laundry. I press my face to his shirt and actually feel myself relax.

I don’t need him.

But he smells good.

And I like how he feels wrapped around me. I like our time together. And I don’t want to leave him. God, I’m an idiot. A huge idiot. But there’s so much on my mind. Too much on my mind. My mom will be here tomorrow for a few days, and then Dad’s fallout.

I can’t drag Ash through that without changing our relationship. I like us being casual, but going through that means admitting I’m with him because he wouldn’t tolerate not coming over to check on me or having me over.

Still, my fingers act without my brain. I call him and stare at it when he answers the phone, still in my hand. He raises his voice, and I finally put the phone to my ear.

“Sky? Is this a butt dial? I’ll talk to your ass. I’ll do it all day.”

“I’m not home,” I say softly.

A long pause answers before he speaks. “Where are you?”

“I’m safe,” I assure. “I am. I just couldn’t be in my house anymore, and my fingers … my fingers just dialed and …”

“Do you want me there?”

I sniff and fold in on myself. The word gets caught in my throat the first time, then comes out as a sob. “Yes.”

“Tell me where baby.” His voice is so gentle. “I’ll be there ASAP.”

I tell him where I am the best way I can, then hang up and try to hold myself together. Maybe Chase had a point. This is too much. Too much outside my control, too much that I can’t handle alone, even if I want to.

Ash is panting when he arrives; he picks me up and jerks me into a hug. I squeeze him tightly and cry, just sobbing as if I haven’t in years. He sits with me and doesn’t let me go. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t try to make my shit better, just hugs me and lets me wipe my face and snot all over his shirt.

Once I cry myself out, he lifts my chin, looks at my face and kisses my forehead softly. He lets out his own heavy breath, then pulls me onto his lap. I cling to him all the same, tightening my fingers in his shirt.

“This is a good spot.”

“Yeah,” I agree, voice all sticky.

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