Page 106 of College-Virgin & Dark Bully Next-Door

“I’ll come to your next fight, honey. As long as it’s not with your brother.”

“Last time I’m fighting that one. He waited until the gloves were off,” I chuckle.

She brushes my hair out of my face and kisses my cut eyebrow. “Friday, right?”

I nod. “The most important match of the entire round. If I win this, I have a chance at making it back to the minor league.”

“Then make me proud, honey.”

And that settles it. Rather than driving myself insane trying to figure out what’s in Sky’s head or even trying to see her or reach her via phone, I just work. I work nine-hour days, train for three hours every day, throw myself into anything and everything that exhausts me to keep me from thinking.

But on Thursday, I look at my phone. I open my chat with Sky, trying to think of anything I could say. I could remind her that I have a match tomorrow and need pictures. I could ask her to be there. But I just stare.

That last text, begging me to give her time, that we can talk about anything and everything once her mom leaves. The text I ignored as soon as I saw her outside alone. The one I should have obeyed, even seeing her there, but I have a feeling that not even ignoring her at that moment would have saved us from ending up in this exact place at some point.

Because we just don’t work right now.

I need more than she’s willing to give. I may assume shit. I may act impulsively. I may have plenty of my own issues, but I can’t donothingwhen I know she needs something. I don’t have it in me to ignore what’s obvious.

And without getting any information at all … well, it’s just impossible. I don’t know what could have changed this. Other than us.

My phone rings, and I stare at it, not recognizing the number. I answer slowly, and then my ear is nearly blown off by Bonnie yelling about my match and making summer count. It takes four times for her to let me talk, and when she lets me, I explain.

“She ended things with me. Okay? I made her choose because I was tired of not knowing where I stood. And I couldn’t just ignore her being all upset. The half answers. The maybes. It was too much.”

“You’re a fucking idiot. She seriously cares about you,” Bonnie argues.

“How do you know?”

“Because she actually talks about you. She sucks at talking about how she feels, okay. And then you go and make her choose in front of her family and yours while her world is spinning out of control.”

“Yeah, and if someone you were crazy about kept pushing you away? Who kept using you when they wanted you but not actually letting you be involved in their life, how would you feel?”

She groans. “I get it, I just … Fuck. This is a mess.”

“You and I have never been more on the same page, Bonnie,” I agree. “But if she and I aren’t compatible…”

“No. You are definitely compatible. The question is, are you guys willing to get over this shit and just accept each other instead of pushing for change?”

“I can’t be with her if she won’t talk to me or open up to me. I’m not capable of it.”

“Not even willing to try?” She counters.

I groan. Why am I having this conversation with my ex’s best friend? “Of course, I would try. But I can’t be the one fixing things every time. I can’t be the only one pushing or talking about how I feel.”

“I know. But you’d try if she came back to you?”

“Of course, I would. I like her. I love her.” I slump. “I just need certain things for us to work long term.”

“Got it. Bye.”

“Bonnie!” But she hangs up, giving me nothing but more regret after making me feel like shit.

Rubbing my forehead, I shake my head and push through to Friday. It sucks. Sky is … amazing. She’s the first person I’ve loved enough to hold onto the words and let them mean something before I throw them out, and now, I might never have the chance.

On Friday, I stare at my reflection instead of getting ready for work. I just … stare, unable to make myself do anything but that until my eyes water, and I wipe at them. “Fuck.”

Yeah. Anything with Sky is easier said than done. Including giving her up.

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