Page 105 of College-Virgin & Dark Bully Next-Door

I block, treating this as a defensive exercise. He keeps ranting about it. How I always stole her focus. How he never had a chance at all. How I couldn’t let him have one fucking thing that he wanted.

Then he shoves me. “Punch me, asshole!”

I jab him in the shoulder, and he drops. He groans and sits up, panting, sweating, a complete mess. We’ve only been going for ten minutes. Leaning forward, I offer him help up. He shoves my hand away.

“Explain yourself.”

“It happened. It was just because I was curious at first. She was so different and hated me, and then we spent time together and talked, and things happened, and I wanted more. I thought she did, too.”

He clocks me in the jaw hard enough that I rub the spot. He shakes his head. “Bullshit.”

“Fine, I fucking fell hard and fast, that what you want to hear?” I hit him back, hoping he’ll block. Thankfully he does, as it was a hard one. “I fell so hard I was looking to move to Arizona in Spring. I fell so fucking hard Mom knew.”

Peter glares at me, arms at his side. “Fell?”

He punches me out of the blue, hitting me in the stomach, then the face, dropping me to the ground. “As in you love her?”

I bite at my Velcro and toss my glove to the side before doing the same with the other. “Yeah. I fucking love her. Which sucks because she’s not going to look twice at me now. I ruined it.” I give him an even stare. “We both ruined it.”

“I shouldn’t have done that shit to her,” he huffs, struggling with his own gloves before looking away and stretching an arm to me.

I pull myself up and undo his gloves. “You think?”

He sighs. “Look, I knew being with her would be a long shot for me. But I had hope. I was a dick, and the more she responded to it, the more dickish I was. I dug my own hole. I can admit that. And you just dug yours.” He punches me with his bare fist, coming right in at my nose. “After digging yourself out because you’re the biggest fucking idiot alive.”

I feel the blood running over my face and wipe it on the back of my hand to see the bright red bloom there. I sigh. “I know.”

He comes at me again. “You don’t know. Sky deserves a fuck ton. If she even let you in a little, that’s huge. Bonnie and I were … okay for a while, and she told me she never knew what Sky was feeling. Because Sky wouldn’t say shit. Since her mom walked out … it was like she shut down anything that would make a person important to her.”

I grab the gloves and put them back instead of answering. It’s not like I didn’t know this … I just … I thought we were further than that. I wanted more. I felt like I was doing all the giving, that we weren’t even.

“Mom said something to me recently,” he says while going to get a towel. He shoves it against my face, so I can’t say a word. “That love is work. I asked her why she stays with Dad when she could leave just like Sky’s mom.”

I mumble something about Dad not always being a dick, but Peter doesn’t hear me. “She said that some days she has to love him ninety-nine percent, and some days, he loves her that much. That the fifty-fifty we’re taught is the easy part, but love isn’t easy.”

I push the towel away. “The point?”

“If you love someone even one percent, isn’t that worth holding out for them to give you the ninety-nine?”

“I should have kept it to sex. I didn’t mean to actually care. She wanted to learn shit, I was more than happy to show and … and I don’t know.” I sigh.

“You made her choose, now you have to,” Peter grumbles. “And I’ll give you time because I don’t have a choice. I’m leaving.”

“Did my punch knock some wisdom into you or something?” I joke.

Peter doesn’t smile back. “If you want her, fix it. If you don’t, leave her alone … entirely and completely. No dragging it out. No options for misunderstanding. Behave. Don’t fuck it up like I did.”

With that, he goes to the locker room to clean up.

I think about it when we get back home, and I ice my nose. Mom makes sure it’s not broken, but then leaves me be. I stare at my closed window, wondering if behaving where Sky is concerned is even possible.

But I have to try, right? I have to let her come to me, if she chooses to, since I’m the one who fucked things up. And it’s not like my life can just be placed on hold. I can’t stop working, can’t stop training or fighting.

So I’m going to have to control myself as long as possible and figure out what I want. I have to figure out if Sky and I can make this work … and if I want to. I don’t want to be a secret. I don’t want to be the one doing all the needing. I don’t want to be an insecure shit in our relationship because we’ll just keep fighting.

Holding my head in my hands, I give into the physical pain since that’s a lot easier to deal with. I trade between ice and band-aids. Mom gives me a tampon to shove up my nose so I can sleep and gently kisses my forehead.

She doesn’t try to give advice or offer any insight. She just holds my hand for a minute and gives a soft smile. Sky would like Mom’s approach to things.

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