Page 220 of His Sunshine Baby

“I will! I will be as quiet as a mouse,” she says while covering her mouth with her little hands.

I get up, my heart beating like crazy in my ears. I get to see Elena in her human form. I try to calm down, but it’s hard. Estelle is overjoyed, her hand still in mine.

“Where are you going?” asks Daniel with a frown.

“To see Elena,” I reply, though I can already tell it won’t be that simple.

“How dare you! She wouldn’t want to see you!”

“It’s not about her seeing me but me seeing her, Daniel,” I say, trying not to growl to not scare my daughter.

“How easy, for someone who didn’t want to see her for four and a half years,” says Liam.

I growl at my brother, annoyed that he’s on Daniel’s side, but Damian steps in before I can say anything.

“Liam, enough.”

“But–”

“I said enough!”

This time, our younger brother doesn’t dare say a thing, and no one stops me when I follow Tonia to the intensive care unit.

I can feel Estelle’s hand shaking. She’s scared in this unfamiliar environment. A hospital is no place for a young kid. I decide to carry her again, since she seems a bit less frightened this way. I still can’t get used to it. Carrying my daughter, having her little body against mine, her arms around my neck…

“Here she is…” whispers Tonia, taking us to the right bed.

Moon Goddess…

My heart is just about to explode. Fuck. She is even more beautiful than I remember, despite being stuck in a hospital bed with machines all around to help her breathe. I wish I could seeher eyes though. Estelle doesn’t have her mom’s unique amber eyes. Elena’s blonde hair is longer, and she’s lost weight. I try to engrave her face into my memory, replacing all the images I had already.

“Mommy…”

Estelle is frowning, a bit impressed by the medical equipment.

“She is okay, honey, the doctors are taking care of her.”

“She is sleeping?”

“Yes, sweetheart.”

It’s good that Nora is answering her questions because my throat is too tight to utter a single word right now. I want to cry, apologize to her. I’m such a--

“Nate, are you okay?”

“Take Estelle for a second.”

I give my daughter to Tonia and leave the hospital, finding the closest exit I can. Fuck, fuck, FUCK! This all my fucking fault! I lost four and a half years with Elena and our daughter! And now she’s in that state?! I’m the worst!

I fall on the asphalt and burst into tears, something I haven’t done in a long, long time. But I can’t hold it in. It just all comes back to me now: all the regret, the pain from these last few years. I can’t believe it. All this time lost, and I’m never going to get it back.

“Nate, calm down.”

I feel Damian’s hand on the nape of my neck, trying to comfort me, but I can’t. There’s a torrent of tears that needs to flow out.

“I’ve been such an… an idiot…”

“It’s okay. You’ll earn their trust back.”

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