Page 75 of His Sunshine Baby

“To grab some fresh air.”

“Where, Elena?”

“I’ll text you. Can I take the car?”

“Not when you’re mad like this, babe. Text me later.”

I roll my eyes and exit the apartment promptly. I know Danny’s just worried about me, I don’t hold it against him. We’ve been friends for so long, he knows I’m mad at pretty much everything and everyone right now.

Walking down the familiar streets, I’m in no mood for chit-chat. I decide to avoid the main street and walk through more deserted alleys. The weather is still cloudy, with a light drizzle. I put my hood over my head and grab my phone and earbuds. A few seconds later, some adequate music is echoing in my head.

The singer’s voice calms me down for a while, and I decide to head for the hospital. I didn’t visit my dad yesterday. I miss him. I visit the hospital for only a couple of hours, but my gloom is back again once I leave my dad. I stand at the entrance, a bit lost.

Where to go now?

I don’t want to go home yet. For a while, I stare at my phone. Should I call Nate? The fact his brother knows about us is seriously worrying me. I should probably leave him alone for a while, right? Seeing an Opal Moon girl probably isn’t any good for him, I guess. Nate always acts as if he controls everything, but I feel like it might not be the case when the King is involved.

When I’m about to press the call button, I stop. I know I said I’d call, but to say what? “Hey, my ex is back, the situation is crappy, how have you been doing?” What a mess… I can’t clear up my own mind, yet I can’t involve Nate in all this. I sigh and put my phone back in my pocket. I stay here for a while, leaningback against the clinic’s wall, watching the downpour amplify on our little turf of Silver City.

“Elena?”

I turn my head. Bianca is here, just exiting the hospital holding an umbrella over her head. She walks up to me with her little smile.

“So, it is you! What are you doing here? Got caught in the rain?” she asks, innocently.

“Hi, Bianca. Yeah, you could say that. I’m just waiting for it to pass.”

She frowns in a cute pout.

“It will last for a while, you know. How about you come with me to Henry’s bar? My friend’s band is about to rehearse!”

Damn, that girl is so cute and nice. I give in and nod. A cold beer and hanging with the kids might do me good and help chase away all the gloom. Bianca, all too happily, shares her umbrella with me until we get there, about ten minutes later. The bar is not very lively, as usual, but a few teenagers are setting up their instruments, very enthusiastic about their rehearsal.

At the bar, there’s only old Henry, grumpy as always.

Bianca greets her friends, forgetting me for a few minutes. I just ask for a drink meanwhile, wondering if my mentor is around.

“That’s right, Elena! Don’t you want to play for us?” says Bianca, turning to me.

“What? She can play something?” asks one of the guys, another of my cheeky trainees.

Bianca glares at him.

“Of course, she can, she has the best ears in the pack! Come on, Elena!”

The guy, a bit surprised that Bianca rebuffed him, looks down. Seems like he was just trying to act cool, but her answerwasn’t what he expected. So cute, these teenage crushes. I smile at her and walk over to borrow one of their guitars.

“What should I play?” I ask.

“Anything! Whatever comes to mind,” says Bianca. “I just want to hear you, it’s been a while!”

Her smile is contagious, but I’m still feeling a bit down. What should I play? Something that matches my emotions. It might be a bit sad though. I strum a few chords on the guitar and decide to play the acoustic version of “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora. It’s so similar to my current thoughts.

“I should’ve stayed with you last night instead of going out to find trouble. That’s just trouble... I think I run away sometimes, whenever I get too vulnerable. That’s not your fault… See, I wanna stay the whole night, I wanna lay with you till the sun’s up, I wanna let you inside. Oh, heaven knows I’ve tried. I wish that I could I let you love, wish that I could let you love me…”

I keep singing, that song I know by heart, my eyes closed. It reflects my thoughts about Nate so well. In another life, with different pasts, maybe we would have been great for each other. If we both weren’t so afraid to love, perhaps we could have healed each other.

I immerse myself in the song, pouring my heart and feelings into it, in the strings under my fingers. I sing loud until the end, not caring about anything else but the song. It’s been a while since I last sang my heart out like this, it feels great.

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