Page 44 of His Sunshine Baby

“You ignored them all?”

“I left the phone there all night and tried to focus on this stupid show.”

“I guess it worked?”

“With the Captain’s help.”

I only now notice the bottle of rum and empty glass on the table. Seems like someone had a difficult time while I was at the dinner. I sigh and extend my legs on the couch, Danny doing the same so his are resting on mine and we are facing each other.

“What about you?” he asks.

“What? I shouldn’t go.”

“But you want to.”

Daniel reads me like an open book. I sigh and nod, unable to lie to him. I grab the bottle and pour myself a glass. I’m not fond of rum, but alcohol is alcohol.

“What about you?”

Daniel sighs.

“Girl, I fell hard. He’s a fucking gem. And I’m a boring science nerd.”

“Come on, he loves you.”

“Yeah, and that’s the scariest thing, you know. Having the dream meeting, with a guy who claims he’s gay for me, sweet and gentle. And I swear, babe, this guy is so good in bed, he’s making me even more gay, if that’s possible.”

I chuckle. Stupid Danny. He’s a down-to-earth guy, never believing in fairy tales, and more often than not, he is right aboutthe douchebags he meets. He takes the glass from me to have a new gulp while I sigh.

“Just go for it, Danny.”

In the darkness, I see his blue eyes on me, skeptical.

“Come on, this guy might be the man of your life. I don’t want you to stay a boring single lab rat all your life because of a few dumbasses.”

“You know this smells like trouble. For you, too.”

“I know.”

“But I’m more at risk than you.”

I frown. Why would he be more at risk than me? Daniel is a regular member of our pack, not a potential successor like me.

“My feelings are on the line. You, on the other end, are negotiating a strictly-sex relationship. If the guy never falls for you, that should do the trick, right? No feelings, no way the past would repeat.”

“Danny, you wouldn’t be saying this if you were sober.”

“Probably, but I mean it. The thing is, can you not fall for Black?”

That’s a tough question.

I really thought I was over relationships and the messiness of falling in love with someone. I know I don’t love Nathaniel. I feel attracted to him, that’s for sure. I want him badly every time I see him, and sex with him is like a drug, plunging me into my desires. So far, it’s been physical only. I don’t know anything but his name and how we fuck. Until tonight, I didn’t even know his brother’s name, or what he really does for work. I don’t know anything significant about him.

“I don’t know,” I eventually admit to Danny.

That’s the truth. I want to say there’s no way I’ll fall for Nathaniel, but I know it’s not true. I’m not someone who can have sex without feeling attraction, and I’ve felt this connectionto Nathaniel from the start. A passion that can’t seem to die out between us.

“I don’t want to. I’ll run away before I fall for him.”

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