Page 35 of Exes and Oh Hell No

He practically drags me to the other end of the couch.

To my utter shock, he plops into the seat and pulls me onto his lap.

My first thought?

Oh, fuck. I’m gonna crush him.

My second?

Oh my God. His hard dick is beneath me.

Has it grown since the last time I saw him?

At what age does a man’s dick stop growing?

Should I Google it?

I stiffen as I feel Gram’s hawk-like gaze drilling into me.

Oh, hell. She knows what I’m thinking!

13

HARPER

Because I’m a glutton for punishment, my gaze moves to hers, and the outright glee and enjoyment on her face makes me wish there was a sharp object I could fling myself on to end my existence.

Or at least, give me a momentary reprieve from this abject humiliation until the ambulance arrives.

“Oh, man. What did I miss?” Connor’s head bobs between the three of us, a bag of popcorn in his hands.

Seriously? The little shit actually made popcorn to watch the show?

“I’m warning you, Connor. You can fucking be replaced. There are plenty of talented left-wingers?—”

He drops beside us on the couch and opens his popcorn, completely unfazed by the rage rolling from Ford. “Yeah, but none would be half as cool as me.”

I stare at him in shock.

He hasn’t changed a bit.

But, it’s disconcerting until you get used to him.

He pops a piece of popcorn in his mouth. “And no other guy will deal with your shit like I do.”

Ford snorts again, his hands curling into fists.

His gaze roams over my face before moving back to Ford. “Who are we killing? We can binge-watch some crime docs to ensure it’s the perfect crime with zero evidence left behind.”

He turns to Gram, but Ford cuts him off. “I’m seriously ready to beat the shit outta you, asshole.”

“Hey. That’s my man. I won’t allow it.” Gram smiles at Connor, who makes a kissing noise in her direction.

“This is why I wanted an asteroid to slam through the roof earlier. Now, I’m hoping two of them burst through.” Ford shakes his head, an exasperated sigh coming from him.

“I could get behind that plan,” I say weakly.

“I think that means our romance is forbidden.” Connor pops another piece of popcorn in his mouth and holds the bag out to Gram. “Want some, my steel-haired beauty?”

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