Page 76 of Sardonic Burn

But I don’t want to move, to raise my head above the surface.

It’s easier to sit here and torment myself until I pass out from pain and the lack of oxygen than to deal with the possibilityof what is happening with Dylan. I’m not an idiot; I connected the dots quickly.

Yet there’s no proof. My mind is racing, but my heart is aching. I don’t want this to be the truth. If there’s a different explanation, I’m the only person Dylan will ever tell.

It’s as if someone is sitting down on my chest, forcing me to stay underwater. I’m not struggling, and, after a few seconds, all thoughts vanish from my head, and I’m left to feel empty.

My eyes close, and I welcome the darkness.

I don’t hear anything except for my heartbeat that starts to beat slower. It’s ringing in my ears. It’s loud, compelling, and it starts to be the only thing I can focus on.

Suddenly, two hands grab my forearms and pull me out of the water. I take in a sharp, deep breath before coughing up all the water that was in my lungs. It hurts like hell to breathe again, my heart rapidly picking up the pace.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

I’m met with a sharp stare from Lucas. He’s looking at me with disbelief, anger, and worry. He clutches my forearms harder, his hands trembling. All I can do is swallow and lie.

“I fell asleep.”

A scoff slips from his mouth, eyes widening. “You fell asleep,” he repeats with distaste.

That’s when I glance behind him and see Cecilia. She’s frozen in place, eyes teary and hands over her mouth. Her hands are shaking, but the rest of her body remains unmoving.

She stands like that for what feels like an hour until something snaps inside of her. Cecilia walks over, her heels clicking behind her on the tiled floor until she reaches the bathtub.

An echo fills the bathroom, and my head is turned to the side.

My right cheek stings from the impact, and even Lucas is left in a state of disbelief. The room falls silent as I cup my cheek, my flesh burning from the harsh slap.

When I turn to look at her, Cecilia doesn’t hide her tears. They’re sliding down her cheeks, lips thinned into a line and brows narrowed at me. She’s angry and isn’t hiding it.

“Your life was always like this.” Her voice is just above a whisper. “It’s been chaotic and filled with blood and danger. But it’s nothing new. Why now? What pushed you that hard over the edge for you to want to kill yourself?”

“I wasn’t!”

Defending myself only earns me an eye roll from her. Lucas hurries to bring me a big, fluffy towel. After he helps me stand up, he wraps it around me and leads me slowly toward my living room.

“You want me to believe you were just sleeping?You?A trained assassin?”

I bite my lip and try to think of an answer.

“Listen, Cecilia—”

“I’ve been listening, Noelle.” Hearing her call me by my full name instead of my nickname stings. “I’m your friend. If Lucas and I were two minutes later, you would’ve been dead!”

I lower my head in shame.

I’m not sure what I wanted to do in the first place. Cecilia’s words are correct; it looked like I was trying to drown myself. But all I wanted was for my mind to stop spinning and to think about nothing, even for a while.

“Cecilia, calm down.” Lucas tries to keep the peace, though Cecilia is still resistant.

“Calm down? Lucas, she was trying to kill herself. Don’t tell me you believe in the I-fell-asleep bullshit?”

“No.” He snorts, and I lose the only person who can help Cecilia calm down. “But she’s shaken up, and yelling at her won’thelp her. You’re a doctor. Shouldn’t you know this? And we’re here to discuss something else.”

“Did something happen?”

Lucas glances between Cecilia and me. She’s reluctant, but, after a few moments, she nods her head, and Lucas turns his attention to me.

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