Page 65 of Beautiful Liar

“But you’re realizing they are your family.Yourfamily, Kieran.”

The movement along my chest stopped as he considered it. “I don’t even know what having a family means. I left my grandmother so young. I hated her for letting Cillian take me and it wasn’t even her fault. Not really. I never tried to reach out to her.”

“Maybe you can now.”

“What about you?” he diverted, because of course he would. “What does your future look like here in Arcadia?”

I snorted. “You know if I had an option, I wouldn’t stay here, right?”

He sighed and lifted himself up on his elbow to look at me. “Don’t just disappear like last time.”

Last time, I had left him the morning after. I’d gone back home, intending to make a life away from Kieran, from Arcadia, only to be forced back. “What if you’re forced to marry some girl like River to save your family?” Because again, I wasn’t family.

“What if you fall in love with someone else while I’m gone? What if you find I’m not worth the wait. What if… Tomás, we can play what if for eternity and come up with nothing in the end. Trust me. I’ve done it.”

“But—”

He pressed his fingers against my lips. “But, we said we’d be honest with each other after the games. Let’s start there.”

That made sense. “I never did thank you,” I said.

“For what.”

“For doing this for Dasher. For saving my life.”

He leaned back into my arms, cuddling closer to me. “I can be nice.”

I laughed.

Slowly, we came into a comfortable silence.

I knew the moment he fell asleep when his body became heavy on mine. His breathing deep and even. I stared at the shadows on the ceiling as they moved. I don’t know what time I fell asleep, but when I woke up Kieran was gone. The only pieces he’d left behind were the aching I felt in my used body and my battered heart.

I dressed in the matching black tactical gear with the balaclava we were all wearing. I couldn’t stop thinking about my regrets. I should’ve told him the truth. I should’ve asked him to help me figure this all out. If I survived, I would. I made that promise to myself.

But survival from Luca Mancini was probably unlikely. I pulled out Luca’s collar from my pocket. I still wasn’t sure why he’d given it to me. If he thought I’d let him collar me, make it easy for him to kill me, he could go fuck himself. I shoved the collar inside the bag.

“Are you okay?”

I lifted my eyes to Charity. She stood tall, elegant, even in the same tactical gear as me. She had her hair hidden in thebalaclava. The face mask lowered. “Sure,” I answered, not really feeling it. “This is another ritual bullshit. We’ll be okay.”

“We will,” she said. “As long as we stick together.”

She dropped a box on the bed. “Put that in your bag. We’re all taking one. Fox’s orders.”

I picked up the small box. An insulin kit for Kieran. I had to swallow the lump in my throat. Kieran would be okay without me. Despite Fox being a psychopathic scary motherfucker, he took care of Kieran. I shoved the box into my rucksack, zipped it, and slung it over one shoulder.

Everyone was scattered around the house. Wren avoided River. River was talking to Micah who was rushing through questions we had no answer to.

“How many people are covering the entrance? What’s going to happen once we get inside? How are we going to get inside? Are they going to have medics? How many people want to kick our ass, really?”

River finally lifted his cowl to cover his mouth. “Shut the fuck up. We don’t know.”

Micah’s shoulders drooped and he tightened his rucksack.

Fox was going over the maps with Morgan. We wouldn’t have communication between us, and we all had to memorize the layout. Charity kept snatching glances at Wren as if she regretted choosing our team. I looked at Fox in stern concentration then back at Wren.

“Ready?” Fox said, handing out a rolled map to everyone. “Remember, once you’re inside the castle, you’ll be safe from the fuckers on the field. The threat becomes slightly different.” He looked to me.