Page 44 of Beautiful Liar

I didn’t love him.

I couldn’t.

I shut my eyes when I heard the bathroom door open and shortly after he slipped under the shower behind me. I couldn’t fight him away. I didn’t have the damn energy. I let him take what he needed from my body and fuck the rest.

Cillian had been right when he wanted me to kill Tomás. He’d be the death of me and everything I worked hard to attain. He compromised everything. And I’d let him. Just for a soft touch. A careful kiss. Just because he said he loved me and somewhere deep inside I wanted to believe it, though I knew it couldn’t be true. Not with the lies we kept from each other.

His fingers trailed my scars and his lips followed. “I’m sorry, Kieran,” he whispered against my skin. “I don’t want to argue anymore.” His hands trailed my side, ran along the juncture between my thigh and pelvis. Instinctively, I spread my legs, giving him more access. On his way up, he cupped my balls and slowly ran his hand the length of my soft cock. “I’ll tell you everything. Can we just wait until this whole investigation is over?”

The reminder that I wouldn’t be here after the investigation was over slammed into me. His assumption that Iwould be also made my heart sting. I hadn’t told him I couldn’t come back. Arcadia was for bastards, not heirs. I couldn’t stay past the investigation.

I stopped his roaming hand and lifted it to my lips, grazing a kiss on his knuckles. “Okay,” I lied. Because at this point, there was nothing I could do to salvage whatever we had, and I didn’t have the strength to deal with the emotions behind it. “But we have to go. There are things we need to work through.”

I rushed through my washing without touching him, and he did the same. Though he remained close to my body. I knew he wanted more but he didn’t push it. I’d given him what he needed and nothing more.

I climbed out of the shower and changed. A few minutes later, Tomás did the same, meeting me in the kitchen. “Luca left pictures of us in my room as well. I don’t know what game he’s playing, but I plan on finding out with or without your help. It involves me whether you like it or not.”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and nodded which pissed me off. I preferred being pissed than anything else. It felt right.

“And if your lies harm me or anyone else I care about, I will not hesitate to end you.”

The shocked expression on his face looked so damn familiar. His lips tightened, his body turned to stone. And I ignored the scream in my head and the pain behind my sternum. “Fuck your love, it means nothing when it’s riddled with lies. From this point on, my focus will be to keep my crew alive beyond the games.”

“And I’m not part of your crew.”

He still had no fucking clue. “You areeverything. Now get in the fucking car. I’ll explain everything at Arcas.” I walked out first and waited for him in the utility vehicle I may have stolenfrom Declan. Tomás climbed in after me. The knee bobbing started up immediately as I took off. Tomás and his nervous twitch. He kept snatching glances at me as if wanting to say something, but turned back to look out the windshield.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said.

“I don’t care.”

He shook his head. “Why does everything with you have to be black and white? There are gray areas.”

“And people die within those gray areas,” I shot back.

“Why does everything have to be a fucking threat with you!”

I swerved the piece of shit vehicle to the side and turned to him. “You do realize I am a killer.” He didn’t move. “Say yes. I need to hear that you understand.”

“Yes,” he gritted through his teeth.

“You do realize that everyone I’ve ever met, except my crew, have tried to kill me or wants me dead.”

He nodded.

“Say it,” I gritted out between my teeth.

“Yes, I get it.”

“Then why should I trustyou?” My heart pounded furiously against my chest. “Why? Tomás. Tell me. Give me one goddamn reason to trust you.”

“It doesn’t matter what I say. You still won’t believe me. You’ve never trusted me. I’m your fucking lie. I will always be your lie. So, no. I don’t have a fucking reason to give you.”

But he wasn’t my lie anymore. I’d come out already. I didn’t say shit. Tomás didn’t deserve my truth. I drove the vehicle in front of Arcas and Tomás followed me inside.

Everyone was in the living room. Even River. He’d come back for the games. Seeing me, he quickly got to his feet and approached us. “I heard,” he said with a bright smile on his face while all my insides wanted to spill out. “About fucking time.”Then he hugged me hard and turned to Tomás. “Welcome to the family, bro,” River said and hugged a stunned Tomás.

Fuck my life.

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