Page 22 of Beautiful Liar

“It means that you’re mine.”

Although I tried not to cry, I felt that tightness in my throat.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Tomás. I want to protect you. If your mother sold you to me, it means no one else can hurt you. She and I have an understanding. I need you to understand this. Do you understand?”

“If you’re not a pervert, why am I here?” I blurted.

He chuckled and I didn’t feel so afraid. He leaned back and eyed the piano. “Do you want to play it?”

Yeah, but I didn’t want to tell him that. “It looks expensive. I might break it.”

The smile on his face remained. “It’s a Steinway. Very expensive. And as long as you let me teach you, I’m sure you won’t break it.” He cocked his head, waiting for an answer as if I could say no. I didn’t, of course. I mean, who would say no to that. Like I couldn’t say no to the other times he took me places—my first musical, my first live play, Broadway. He’d been my best friend. A brother. He’d beenfamily.And what he said was true. Whenever moms had her freaks over, they didn’t dare touch me. For the first time I didn’t have to be afraid.

Until Daniel took his vows and we moved closer to our dad. Things started to change. I didn’t see him often, and whenever he wanted to hang out, I’d been busy with my dad and La Sagrada Sangre. Then, whenever I did go see him, everything felt off. Like a veil had been lifted, I didn’t feel right anymore. He bought me clothes that didn’t feel right on my body. He wanted me to listen to certain music, to talk a certain way. I felt like a dog being trained. Then one day I said no. I wasn’t going to go to him. My moms had gone ballistic. The first couple of times, I ran before theMan in Blackmade it to the house. Except the last time.

The last time I didn’t get a chance to run. She hadn’t told me he was coming. The last time, everything changed.

“Tomás?”

Kieran’s voice brought me out of my headspace.

I hated that Kieran twisted all my insides. Again. And again. But I also loved how he kept coming back to me. I loved his possessiveness, even his anger. The warmth and strength of his body shielded me from the monsters trying to invade my mind.

But if he knew what happened to me, he’d think I was a pervert. He’d think something was wrong with me. I felt the wrongness deep in my chest.

I was broken.

“Talk to me.”

“Are you gay?” I asked. The thought of him trying to fuck himself free of being gay didn’t make sense, but I needed to know.

“Yes. I’m gay.”

“I’m sorry.” Though I didn’t know what I was sorry for.

He sighed. I wasn’t sure if it was a sigh of being tired of having this conversation with me, or being with me, or just in general. But then he gave me a soft kiss on my shoulder, and I felt as if I could breathe again. “I haven’t been with anyone else, Tomás,” he said. “I’m not trying to fuck the gay out of me.”

I chuckled and he did too. “I’m sorry I said that.”

“I forgive you.”

His brand between my thumb and forefinger meant he was mine as much as I was his. He protected me. Always. I wanted to believe that so damn much. I needed to believe that despite how his words burned through me. Was this my life now? Opting for that slight acceptance when I wanted more? Kieran wanted a no-strings-attached lover. He’d give me monogamy, but nothing else. He’d said it. He hadn’t lied about what he expected us to be. Which should’ve been a relief considering my past.

I shut my eyes and felt the tears stain my cheeks. That’s what they were. A stain. “My moms. When I was ten, she sold me to a man.”

I felt Kieran’s sharp intake of breath against my neck. I shouldn’t have told him this. I knew that he’d go find Enzo and kill him, and I didn’t want Kieran’s soul further tainted because of me. He’d once said I was the light to his darkness, I wanted tobe that for him.

But I couldn’t.

I wasn’t.

And I needed to remember the last time. The not knowing ate at me. And Kieran could help me sort everything out. He had resources I didn’t. He would be able to find Enzo if only I asked. I wasn’t the asking type, and my head was too damn full of shit I couldn’t sort through.

“I just … I’m fucked up. Sometimes, I feel broken, put together like a jigsaw puzzle with all the pieces mixed up. The man, Enzo, he was nice at first. Like a second dad. He taught me how to play the piano, how to sing. Said I was good. I liked his praise. I … I think I loved him.” I felt sick now. “I wanted to be good for him. He cared about me like nobody else. But then…” I shut my eyes, seeing glimpses of memories that wouldn’t solidify. “Something happened, but I can’t remember. The drugs I took with Amir opened up something inside of me and the memories feel like they’re pounding inside my head, screaming to get out, but I can’t remember. Not all of it. And I feel, I feel, like I have to know what happened.” I didn’t know what I expected Kieran to say. What could he say? But I appreciated the stillness between us. I appreciated him there, with me, even though it wouldn’t last.

He brushed his lips against the back of my neck sending sparks throughout my body. “Tell me what you need, Tomás.” The whispered words sent blood to my cock. “Tell me how to fix this.”

Did he mean us? Did he mean Enzo?

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