Page 12 of Beautiful Liar

“I am worth it!” I cried. “I’m worth someone who loves me. Who wants to be with me. Who doesn’t see me as a dirty little secret. I’m not a secret!”

The world tilted.

I clutched the sink to steady myself. I felt wrong. The world felt wrong around me. My skin felt wrong. I didn’t belong here.

I shut my eyes as the onslaught of memories came barreling back inside“Do what you’re told. It’s all you had to do but you couldn’t even do that,”My mother’s voice replaced Kieran’s.

Do as I’m told meant doing whathewanted. The lies … they festered. The rot always found a way out. I couldn’t. No. I felt fucking dirty all over. It clung to my skin, under my flesh. Inside me. It made my stomach churn. Saliva crowded my mouth and I managed to make it to the toilet. I spewed until I felt my head about to burst. I returned to the sink, slurped water and rinsed my mouth. The face in the mirror haunted me.

I wasn’t good enough for them. Forhim.

“Don’t fight me, Tomasito. I don’t want to fight you. I’m not the enemy.”The kindness of his words made me believe him. But they’d been a lie. A fucking lie!

I didn’t want to remember. I shouldn’t have taken the pills. The drugs still ran through my veins, slicing me open and spilling out all the rot inside me.

I had to get the fuck out of my mind.

The room swayed on its axis. Everything skewed. Usingthe wall to guide me, I reached the door.Please open. Please open.

It did.

Dr. Casera stood just outside the bathroom waiting for me. He was an imposing man. But in moments, I’d seen kindness in his eyes. I was a sucker for morsels of kindness.

“Tomás, are you okay?” He actually sounded concerned for me and it made my eyes water.

“No.”

He cupped my elbow as we walked. My focus completely on his hand on me. The anchor I needed to remain on solid ground. We returned to his office, but this time we sat opposite each other instead of him behind the desk. He made a phone call to Dr. Shanahan. He was going to send me to the hospital.

“Tomás, I need you to tell me what happened.”

I told him about going to Jack’s with Amir. About the drugs. I may have told him about Kieran. My words ran over each other. But I couldn’t tell him how I ended up dragging a dead Amir out of the lake. I couldn’t remember that part. He remained impassive and I wondered if he’d vote to have my bloodline erased when they found me guilty of Amir’s death.

But I didn’t kill Amir.

“What happens now?”

“Each of the four founding families will be sending a team of delegates to investigate the death.”

My throat felt dry, my tongue heavy. “And what happens if they find it’s not an accident?”

“Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that. For all of our sakes.”

I imagined a lynch mob,Pirates of the Caribbeanstyle, with all the Brennans lined up as the other families sang the pirate song. Then Casera would kick out the stools, sending us into a short drop. I cupped my neck.

“I don’t believe you had anything to do with the death, but my belief means nothing. Before they arrive, I’d like to have something definitive to give them. Something to steer them away from you as a suspect. And you are the only one that can give me the information I need.”

“The drugs.”

“Yes, the drugs. If we can determine what it was, if it had any hallucinogenic properties that would lead us to believe Amir to have been under its influence and we don’t find traces of a struggle…” he trailed on but the rest faded.

Movement behind Dr. Casera caught my attention. I blinked away the haze, but Miguel Moya remained standing behind the man. His complexion ashen like the dead. His hair stuck out in patches on his otherwise bald head, and his skin was mottled with burn scars. One eye stared at me, while the other oozed on his cheek. He wore his trademark black t-shirt, dark jeans, and boots. His arms crossed in front of his scrawny chest as he stared down at me. The family insanity just at the surface. My brother was insane while alive. He was dead. We buried him with Dad.

“You better make your story count, or you and Nick are dead men,”he said. Nick. My sisters. They were Moya. They would be erased too.

“Tomás?” Dr. Casera looked over his shoulder then back to me.

Miguel smirked.“Benefits of being dead. The living can’t see me. Well, just you.”

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