Page 11 of Beautiful Liar

“He’s well, considering,” Dr. Casera said into the phone,eyeballing me with a look that said I better be well, or he’d make me very unwell. And don’t let the look of academia he wore fool you. No, sir. Casera knew the deepest, darkest secrets of every student at Arcadia University. The ultimate keeper of secrets. I’d been waiting in his office for questioning after I’d hauled Amir out of the lake. “Yes, of course,” Dr. Casera said to Maddox over the phone. “I have sent notice and am awaiting the delegates’ arrival. They will be here within seventy-two hours.”

I swallowed the thick wad stuck in my throat. The last time some kid died within the property, the killer’s whole bloodline had been erased. Rule number one of Arcadia law. The twenty-seven thousand acres that surrounded the property was a protective sanctuary. With a hundred or so students living on campus anchored to a crime family, the rule worked to prevent Arcadia turning into a blood bath. There were other rules but this one seemed to be the most relevant to my current situation.

Casera’s blue eyes landed on me. “Of course. I’ll do what I can.”

I shifted in my seat.

“The school is currently on lockdown of course. Discretion is of the utmost importance. Yes, sir.” Dr. Casera continued with the yes sirs until he finally hung up. He looked relieved for a few seconds before his attention landed on me again.

I wanted to ask what Maddox had said. My half-brother had been trying to get me out of the school, but I had ignored all of his summons. Was he coming for me? Did he care? But I bit my tongue as Casera clasped his hands on top of his desk. “Tomás,” he started. “How did you come about finding Amir?”

I ran my palms along my thighs. The scrubs they’d lent me after I got my clothes wet did nothing to abate the cold. I’d turned numb from it about an hour ago. With nothing else to do, I’d gotten highandcalled Kieran. Honestly, I thought hewouldn’t answer. He’d been ditching my calls for weeks and the one time I was ready to leave a message he had answered. I couldn’t get the sound of the woman moaning out of my head. Kieran had never wanted to be gay. He’d never wanted me.

It was all the coaxing I needed to try echo. I had wanted to drift out of this fucking nightmare and the chance to live in a virtual reality of my own making sounded good, so I took the pills.

I remembered the phone call with Kieran. I remembered taking the pills. I’d gone into the bathroom to relieve myself.

I didn’t remember coming out.

The next thing I knew, I’d been shocked out of myself by the cold water when I’d jumped in to save Amir.

“Is he…” I couldn’t even say dead. I already knew. He’d been unresponsive. A layer of frost had covered his clothes, icicles hung on his long lashes, his brown eyes open, unseeing. “Amir was pronounced dead at 12:34 AM, this morning.”

Although I knew, it felt differentknowing. I wasn’t new to losing friends. I lost plenty of them living the gang life, but this place was supposed to be different. This place was supposed to be safe.

Dad had taught all of us what to do in case we were ever arrested. All I remembered was to say nothing until he sent a lawyer. And a dead body was always cause for a lawyer. “Don’t I get a lawyer?”

Dr. Casera didn’t even look like he wanted to be nice anymore. “I understand that you were acquired late.”

Acquired. As if I were furniture. Maddox may have bought me from my moms, but I wasn’t furniture. I said nothing.

“But Arcadia and its surrounding property have very different rules. You knew this coming in. Within the boundaries we are the law and unless you want to see your entire bloodline erased, I suggest you start talking.”

“Would that be the Brennan side? Since, you know, Maddox adopted me and technically, I am a Brennan.”

The irony of the whole Brennan bloodline being erased because of a Moya almost made me laugh considering Maddox had planned on erasing the Moya bloodline himself. He’d started by killing my dad and brother, Miguel.

“Yes,” Dr. Casera said firmly. “That would include Kieran Brennan, since he has been legitimized.”

Well, fuck me sideways. And that he knew mentioning Kieran would unsettle me was further proof that Casera kneweverything. Kieran’s best friends didn’t even know he was gay.“You’re not worth coming out for, Tomás.”The sound of Kieran’s voice hit me hard.“Why the fuck would I give a shit about you?”

I shut my eyes. No. Kieran hadn’t said that.

“Tomás?”

I considered lying to Casera, but I wasn’t a good liar. I forced my eyes to open. The world rippled around me. I promised myself never to do drugs again. “May I go to the restroom?”

Dr. Casera sighed but nodded.

I practically ran out of his office grateful it was too early for anyone to be at school. My heart was beating madly. The world not quite right. I used the toilet and started washing my hands when I looked at my reflection. My curls hung scattered around my face. My eyes too wide, the whites red. My lips too pink, too plump, and my features soft. It all looked wrong on me. No wonder Kieran never came back. He’d missed a semester of school and never meant to return to Arcadia. Instead, he decided to stay with the Brennans and fuck his way out of being gay. The moans I’d heard drilled into my head and my imagination did the rest.

He’d chosen his new mafia life over me and I’d broken thepromise I made of waiting until he was ready.

But you know why he never came back. You’re not good enough.

I ran a heavy hand down my face. My body morphing, changing. My skin not my own.

You’re not worth it.

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