Page 23 of Power Play with My Brother's Irish Friends

11

CHARLIE

What an asshole. I fisted my hand, punching it into my open palm over and over again until the sting of pain settled the clawing agony in my gut. Nothing could make this right, but I had to talk to Miranda. I had no excuses, only reasons why I’d given in to the decade of longing last night. I doubted she wanted to hear any of those.

Sunlight chased the horizon, dipping below the clouds and scurrying away. I checked my watch and paced up and down the sidewalk leading toward the door. Any minute. I’d watched, waited, and psyched myself up for hours, even skipping the meeting Coach set up in favor of talking to Miranda away from everyone else.

The metal door opened with a whine of hinges, and Mirand walked out with her bag slung over her shoulder. Even in her slightly mussed business suit at the end of the day, she looked amazing.

“Miranda.” I’d reached the end of the sidewalk and jogged closer when I heard the door.

She startled at the sound of my voice and spun to face me, her lips puckering in an O of surprise. Her sunglasses shook in her hand. “Charlie. You missed our meeting.” The tone of her voice sharpened. “Why?”

“Well. I…” I shrugged. “I don’t have an answer. Sorry. I wanted to talk to you, but not in there.” I pointed at the giant brick and concrete building where I spent most of my days. “Can I take your bag?” I held out a hand, expecting her to hand it over like always when I offered. Remorse sliced and diced my insides into ribbons. Betrayal tasted like rotten eggs. I’d never done anything like this before, never betrayed my best friend. If only that was enough to stop my feelings for Miranda. They’d grown overnight, skyrocketing into these enormous emotions that refused to go back into the neat little box where I’d packed them away.

Miranda strangled the strap of the bag, slid her sunglasses over her eyes, and peered up at me.

The dark lenses hid her expressive gray irises, and I couldn’t help thinking it was intentional to shut me out. “Can I walk you to your car?” I’d spotted her silver Honda earlier and twitched my hand in that direction.

Her sigh lingered, and she passed me the bag overflowing with papers. “You’re too nice for your own good.” She clicked her tongue. “Makes it impossible to be mad at you for skipping our meeting. Even you have to follow the program. No one is so perfect they don’t need help on their image.”

I pressed my lips together to hold in the burst of laughter. That was why she thought I’d skipped out on her? Not hardly. The thought of being closed up in that tiny office with her, remembering what I’d done the night before and acting like it never happened, was impossible.

“I’m sorry about last night.” I kept my voice low, my pitch full of regret so that it blocked out the longing trying to creep in.

She stopped at the edge of the parking lot. “Why does that sound ominous?”

Buildings stretched high overhead, blocking out the last of the fading light.

Miranda kept her sunglasses on, cementing my thought that she wanted to hide from me. It made what I had to say easier. “Last night was a mistake. We crossed a line, and I’m sorry. I never thought I’d be the kind of guy who betrayed my best friend. Especially not like this.” I stopped there before things escalated. But one more thing ripped out of me before I could stop it. “I’m sorry for causing trouble in your life.”

She tore the sunglasses off, a wounded look turning her gray eyes cold and distant. “You regret last night?” A nod from her stopped me from denying it. “I guess that’s it then.”

“I feel terrible.” I meant that, even more than I thought possible. “I’ll never do anything that stupid again.”

“Stupid.” Lips flat, she repeated the word almost like a mantra. “Last night was stupid.”

Why did she sound that way? And why did her eyes harden into flint? We all knew it was a mistake. “I talked to Duncan and Patrick. They agree. Last night was a mistake.” Neither of them felt as bad about it as me. Then again, neither of them had been friends with Austin as long as me. “From now on, we’ll treat you like a professional. Because that’s what you are. What we all are.”

Silence crushed me. The city around us made enough noise to drown out almost everything, but it could not pierce the sudden, solemn quiet between me and Miranda. It weighed on me, that desolate quiet.

Miranda blinked slowly, her lids remaining shut a heartbeat too long. When she opened them again, I recognized the cold, resolute chips of silver. I’d pissed her off. Offended her, maybe. “Thank you, Charlie.” Even her voice held a chill. “I’m glad Austin has such a good friend. That all of you are willing to be professional.” She popped onto her tiptoes and kissed my cheek.

I imprinted the moment on my mind, knowing I’d never feel the touch of her lips again. “You’re welcome. We want you to be comfortable here. I’m sorry we ruined that for you.”

“It’s okay.” She took the bag from me and tossed it into the backseat.

I rushed to open the driver’s side door and ducked to keep her in sight when she slipped into the seat. “If there’s anything I can do.”

“I have your number.” She stuck the key in the ignition. “You need to show up to our appointments from now on. No excuses.”

“I will.” The promise was easy to make, but I’d have a hell of a time keeping it unless I found a way to keep my emotions under control. I gripped the edge of the door. “I promise, Miranda.”

“Good.” A lightning quick smile flashed, and she took the door from me, slamming it closed as I released it and stepped back.

The engine roared to life, and I shoved my hands into my pockets to keep from throwing myself at the door and begging her to tell me it was okay to fall in love with her. Austin. I dredged up a memory of me and Austin playing together in high school, then college, and now professionally. He asked me for one thing during our entire friendship and career: leave Miranda alone. How could I fail him in this single most important thing?

Miranda drove away, leaving me in the wake of exhaust fumes and disappointment. I’d hoped she showed a little emotion, maybe even stopped me from giving the whole spiel. Last night was a mistake because Austin wanted us to leave Miranda alone, but it was not a mistake to my heart, or to my feelings.

If Miranda told Austin that she wanted to be with me, would he understand? The question skated around my head faster than one of the pucks launched beneath Patrick’s slap shot. Austin knew me. He knew I’d treat Miranda well. That made it okay, right? I’d almost anticipated the moment when she’d stop me and say that it was okay, that Austin would get over it. I’d have accepted anything that indicated Miranda wanted more than a one-night stand.

Clearly I’d been mistaken, or too hopeful. Miranda had gotten what she wanted from all three of us. “Time to nut up and shut up.” I kicked at the gravels beneath my feet. Miranda didn’t want me. I’d respect the line we’d all drawn, staying on my side and never again thinking of how soft her skin had felt beneath my hands or the quiet mewling sounds she made when I slipped inside her.

“Damn it.” Rearing back my foot, I kicked the post holding up the closest street sign. Pain raced up my leg and vibrated in my knee. Even that didn’t stop me from kicking it again and then a third time. No other girl in the entire history of my life had made me feel this way. I’d fallen for Miranda years ago, and nothing had ever changed my mind. She was the one.

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