Page 31 of Silver Fox's Twin Babies

“How do you think he’ll take it?”

Her calm question only further poked at the agony I’d been wrestling with. I had no way of knowing how he’d take it. The best I could offer was a shrug and: “I consulted a lawyer in case he takes it poorly.” The bitter taste as I said the words sickened me. I didn’t want it to come to that, but I feared it would. Deep down, my gut told me only bad things were in my future, at least for the time being.

“Wow,” she breathed. Her hand rested on my shoulder as she sighed. “That’s heavy.”

Silence wrapped around us in a thick blanket as she realized the weight I’d been under. While dinners and dates with Evan had been amazing, I knew it was only because he had no clue the gravity of my secret. There was no way he could know. And so many times I’d felt like he was on the verge of bringing it up, asking me the truth. The last thing I wanted was to be in a position where he outright asked me. I couldn’t lie to him. Keeping the secret was bad enough.

“You know I’m here no matter what, okay? If you want me to be there when you tell him, I will be.” Her fingers squeezed my shoulder gently and I sucked in a breath to calm myself.

“Thank you, Shelby. I think it’s something I have to do on my own, but I appreciate that.” I thought of Thanksgiving next week and how it was a time we were supposed to reflect on what we had to be thankful about. This year my heart was so weighed down I wasn’t sure I could find a single thing other than my twins and their health. I wished I could be celebratingit differently too, like a normal family. But that wish seemed just out of reach.

“I should go back to my office. If Evan gets a call, it’ll ring right through to him instead of my desk. I don’t want him to think something’s wrong.” I stood and tugged my jacket down with one hand as I clung to my tablet with the other. “Thank you for being a good friend.”

“Of course,” Shelby said. She rose and opened the door for me to step out. The silent exchange of pained expression as I walked into the hallway was enough. There were no words she could say to help my situation at all. I’d gotten myself into this mess and I had to get out of it.

Back in my office I sat down behind my desk and rubbed the bridge of my nose. If Evan hadn’t come back into my life like a whirlwind, I would have continued to live happily with my twins and my secret. I imagined how life would be if I just let him finish out his temporary position covering for Jacob and go back to Crescent Springs. My heart would break when I let him down easily, telling him I couldn’t date him. However, my problem would be solved.

I’d move on. He’d move on, and both of us would feel the relief of this back-and-forth end. But my heart would be broken.

Either way my heart would be broken.

Reuniting with him never crossed my mind. A few weeks ago, Evan was a thing of the past to me. I rarely thought of him or what he was doing. Life revolved around the kids and work and my busy schedule. When he showed up at my house, my world seemed to turn upside down, and now I didn’t know which way was up. I did know, however, that I loved him. I didn’t think I’d ever stopped loving him.

Someone knocked on my door making my heart stop. I sat up straight and tensed my shoulders, fully expecting the door to swing open and Evan to walk in. Every interaction betweenus had been punctuated with awkward conversation, one-word replies, and avoiding eye contact. I couldn’t take it anymore. I braced myself for the worst as the door opened, but it wasn’t Evan.

Jacob walked in with a bright smile and a cup of coffee in his hand. He was dressed as if it were a workday—hair slicked back, suit buttoned up, shiny leather shoes. “Hello again,” he said, walking toward my desk to set the coffee down. “I figured this time of day you could use a pick me up.”

My eyes flicked to the coffee and back to his face in confusion. “Hi…” I said, standing. It felt out of place seeing him here. We had spoken on the phone several times, but I had no idea he was returning to work so soon. For some reason, that made the pressure to get this secret off my chest quadruple in that split second of recognition.

“You don’t seem happy to see me.” Jacob chuckled and walked around my desk, offering me a hug. It’d been a long time since I got one of his hugs, and I almost broke down crying as I wrapped my arms around him. What I wouldn’t have given for this hug to have come from my father instead of him.

“I’m shocked. I thought you had weeks of recovery yet. Evan said after the first of the year.” I pulled away and looked up at him as he waved off my comment.

“Evan doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I’m fine. Probably be back to the office full-time on Monday. How are you doing? How are things going?” It was just like him to push away himself in the interest of caring for others. It was probably one of the reasons he’d had the heart attack to begin with.

“Uh, things are fine,” I said, nodding at the chairs across from my desk. “Have a seat.” I followed him around the desk, not wanting to seem too professional. Jacob was here as a friend; that hug told me that. “Work is going well. Evan is staying on top of things. You’d be proud of him.” I didn’t actually knowif he was staying on top of things, but I hadn’t heard Gavin complaining.

“I meant you, Amber.” Jacob spoke with a soft tone and a kind expression in his eye. He lowered his volume and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “How are you doing?”

The damn almost burst. Tears threatened to leak out but I blinked them back. If there was anyone on this planet I couldn’t hide my true feelings from, it was Jacob. Just like my father, he knew me so well he could read the tiniest changes in my posture or body language. There was no point in pretending anymore.

“I’m a wreck.” I drew a hand down over my face and tugged on my jacket to put it back in place. “Working side by side with him makes me feel so guilty.” I let my head fall; I couldn’t look him in the eye. I felt like it would be admitting to him that he was right a long time ago. That I should’ve told Evan the truth when he first moved back.

Jacob touched my hand and when I didn’t look up he squeezed it. “Amber,” he said softly. I raised my head to look him in the eye, but my heart felt so heavy. “He’s asking me questions, hon. He’s desperate to know the truth. His suspicions are a little out of whack.”

I sniffled and nodded. “He knows?”

“No, hon, but I think you need to talk to him. If he hasn’t asked you already, he will.” His volume lowered and his tone softened. “I promise, I wouldn’t tell you to say something if I thought it was going to cause major problems. Do you trust me?”

I looked into his eyes for a long hard second and nodded. I did trust him, as much as I had trusted my father. Jacob always had my best interest at heart. Erin did too. Both of them had become surrogate parents in the wake of my dad’s death. When Mom’s depression finally cleared, I had three parents to walk me through becoming a mother.

“Of course I trust you.” I blinked out a few tears and wiped them off my cheeks. It was time for me to do the right thing even though it felt like the hardest thing I’d ever have to do in my entire life. “I’ll tell him.”

“Good girl,” Jacob said. “And if he so much as says one cross word to you, I’ll put him in his place. I won’t let him come after those kids or you in any way, but I don’t think it will come to that. Evan is a smart man, and he’s matured a lot since his playboy days—since you really.” Jacob smiled and patted my knee. “If he’s pushing this hard for facts, it must mean something is brewing. Maybe that flame you lost with him is reigniting.”

When Jacob stood I stood with him, but I felt like a robot following commands. He wrapped me in his arms again, so I hugged him back. My chest felt like it’d been hollowed out, like someone had taken a knife and carved out deep emotions so all I felt was numb.

“It’s going to be okay, hon.” Jacob kissed the top of my head, and I felt more tears leaking from my eyes.

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