Page 17 of Silver Fox's Twin Babies

“Here we go,” I heard, and I turned over my shoulder to see him returning to his sterile living room carrying a tray of snacks. It felt cold in here, not temperature-wise, just a sense of emptiness. There were no toys strewn about, no family portraits on the wall. Evan didn’t seem to live in this space or spend much time here. It never used to feel that way, but this was the way it always looked.

My perspective on that shifted over the years. Now I was used to Parker’s video game controllers being shoved in the crack of the couch, or Vera’s books lying on the coffee table. Their shoes were always piled by the door, and most of the time there was at least one jacket or sweater lying around, one pile of dirty socks left for me to pick up.

Being a mom changed me like that. Now I thought the clean lines of Evan’s modern style felt detached from reality, not comfy and stylish. I missed the warmth of knowing there were children in our lives.

“That looks delicious.” I leaned forward as he set down the tray and devoured the charcuterie board with my eyes. I’d eaten, but having a few glasses of wine had already helped me to work up an appetite again.

“I’m glad you approve.” Evan winked at me as he sat down a little closer than he’d been sitting when I asked if he had any snacks.

“You just had this lying around?” I reached for a slice of meat and layered it with a cube of cheese. They were savory on my tongue, complimenting the wine nicely, of which I might have already had a bit too much.

“I might have bought it in hopes you’d join me here after dinner.” Evan leaned over and brushed something off the corner of my mouth, but his hand lingered there. My cheeks warmed under his gentle touch. It was nice to feel cared for. It was also nice to have an evening to relax without children around shouting at me. I was glad I’d accepted his invitation despite how reserved I felt about this whole thing.

There was no mistaking the chemistry between us, but I was foolish enough to have fallen for that sort of thing before. A relationship wasn’t just established on great sex or the ability to banter. Evan and I had tried this. He and I might have worked if he hadn’t been sent off to Europe to get his act together. Nowthings were different. I was only lying to myself if I thought reigniting that flame would work. I had a huge secret. And once he heard it, he’d never think of me the same way again.

I turned away and his hand dropped, and instead of reaching for my glass of wine, I decided it was time to pace myself. He’d have to take me back to my car and I would have to drive home. I had two children who depended on me now. I couldn’t take the risk of drinking and driving.

“Why do you do that?” he asked, but I didn’t understand what he meant. I reached for another slice of meat and cheese and his hand intercepted mine. “Amber…” he said softly.

My gaze rose to meet his and studied him intently. There was something he wanted to say or ask; I could see it in his eyes. However, instead of pressuring me, which he was never prone to do, he changed the subject.

“Dance with me…” He stood and took my hand firmly in his, then started to pull me to my feet.

“Here? Now?” I glanced around and chuckled. “When you said dancing, I thought you meant a club.”

He pulled his phone out and fiddled with it. Soon, music started pouring out of the speaker, a soft, slow love song I didn’t recognize. He managed to pull me to my feet, so I stood and followed him a few strides toward the open area between his couch and kitchen island that separated the space.

“What’s wrong with slow dancing in my living room?” His arms circled my waist and pulled me in. I breathed in the smell of his cologne and found myself smiling. He was so romantic at times. I wasn’t surprised; past me enjoyed this treatment, and present-day me loved it. The snacks, the wine, the music, the way he looked at me…It all created the most perfect atmosphere for us.

“Evan, I really should?—”

“Why are you pulling away from me, Amber?”

I’d been backing away, but his firm grip held me there. He was right. I was pulling away both literally and figuratively and I had a good reason to. I was afraid, not just of him learning my secret but of getting my heart broken again. Watching him walk away when we could’ve had it all hurt really bad, but that was the easy part. I knew it was for his job. I knew he had to do it. I knew Jacob was pressuring him.

I also knew if I had said the word, Jacob would’ve reversed his decision and brought Evan home. We’d have had a shot at it, but by then I was confused and overwhelmed. I searched his eyes, now feeling the same way toward him—confused and overwhelmed. I wanted so badly to pour myself into this second chance at a relationship, but no matter what way I looked at it I only saw the hurdles and obstacles between us.

“I’m afraid,” I admitted quietly. It was the most honest thing I could tell him. I’d already made up my mind if he asked me directly, I wasn’t going to lie. I prayed it never came to that though.

Evan’s hand slid up my side and over my cheek. He brushed some hair off my face and smiled at me as he cradled my head. His fingers curled around the back of my neck and he shook his head at me.

“I’m not leaving again, Amber. I’m settled here in Crescent Springs. You can relax and just let go of that fear. I’m not going to abandon you.” The way he seemed to look straight through me warmed me to my core. I could tell he was trying really hard to comfort me and assuage my fears, but he had no idea the storm in my heart.

When he leaned down and kissed me, I melted against him. My arms slowly rose up and rested on his shoulders. His hands pulled me against his body, and we danced like that to two songs, then a third. When I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed contently, he tightened his grasp. It felt so perfect in thismoment. The comfortable silence between us had me reliving old sweet memories—the time we got ice cream and ended up in an ice cream fight, the time he wanted me to dance with him in the rain.

I looked up at him with a warm smile at the memories. I knew that guy was in there probably waiting to come out and sweep me off my feet. Probably more levelheaded and structured than before. The thought of that brought my heart back to the present and where I was—wrapped in his arms in his living room dancing with him.

“What are you afraid of?” he asked me. His tone was so gentle I almost told him the truth. He deserved to know. The twins deserved to know their father. But even knowing all of that I still felt too vulnerable to being hurt again, to hurting him…

I couldn’t answer him. I stared up into his eyes as he searched me and I had no answer. After a few seconds, he kissed me, a soft lingering kiss. It deepened into something more passionate, more hungry. I gave in to him, kissing him back, letting the tension between us build until his hands were searching my body and I was reaching for his buttons.

Without breaking the kiss, he backed me up against the couch, his hands sliding under the hem of my sweater dress, shifting it upward. He was so slow and methodical about it, I whimpered with need. I didn’t know if this was going to be the last time we were together, but I didn’t want to rush it. I wanted it imprinted in my memory for forever, just in case I got cold feet and withdrew from him.

I reached between us and grabbed his belt buckle. His mouth found its way to my neck, kissed a trail down to my collarbone. His hands cupped my breasts while he suckled on my sensitive flesh. I moaned as he found my aching nipple and gently teased it between his teeth through the fabric of my bra. I didn’t knowhow we got here again so fast, but I didn’t care. I was lost in the moment, lost in his arms, lost in our chemistry.

I let him take my dress and bra. Then I peeled his shirt off. His hands were everywhere, roaming, caressing, squeezing. He was a man on a mission and I wasn’t going to deny him. I unhooked his pants and slid them down his hips, followed by his boxers. He lifted me up and laid me on the couch, towering over me. Then his hands pulled off my tights, letting my shoes drop to the floor with our clothing.

When he crawled over me, I whimpered with desire. I’d never wanted him more. “I’ve missed you,” he said against my ear before nibbling on my lobe.

---