I sigh and pour her one as well. “Look, Roxy, this deal with Atlas is stressful, but I’ll try not to bark at people if you try to hire more competent staff.”
“The Atlas deal is the reason you don’t sleep at your own house?” She swirls the liquid in her glass.
“Roxy—” I warn.
“I’m just saying, if you’ve developed feelings for Caleb’s sister and now you sleep in your office to avoid her, it’s pretty immature, but it’s your choice. If you fucked her and are now avoiding her, then you’re a coward. In any case, may I book you into a hotel?”
“I can’t go to a hotel and risk someone taking pictures.” I pinch the bridge of my nose.
“So it is because of Saar and your feelings for her?” She takes a sip, looking at me through her lashes.
I fell into that one. “If the feelings are exasperation, frustration, and a mild case of anxiety, then yes.”
“And attraction, perhaps?”
“I found out why she needed this arrangement, and her attraction plummeted. I’m avoiding her because if I confront her, we might kill each other.”
“I thought her reason is her trust fund.”
“But why would a woman who worked since she was a teenager need money so urgently?”
Roxy frowns. “What did you find out?”
“I offered you a nightcap, not a sharing session.”
She rolls her eyes. “It’s my bonus that is at stake here.”
I chuckle. “Don’t worry, your bonus is safe. I will fucking get this deal done. Next week is the fundraiser, and Vladislav will see what a perfect couple we are and how I have settled down.”
“And then?”
“We helped him merge with Atlas, and my fake marriage is over.”
“So you’ll just let her go like that?”
And there lies my problem, and the real reason I’m avoiding Saar. Just before I opened the files from Mathison, I was sure I wanted to keep her around for longer. Forever perhaps?
I love my house, but I realized after I moved in how lonely it feels. And she filled the space effortlessly.
She destroyed a part of it, but besides the decor disaster, I enjoyed sharing my space with her.
Ironically, her post about loneliness and pretense hit me straight in my solar plexus. Because I could feel her. I could feel her pain, because I live what she talked about.
That constant pressure of expectations that isolate you in the game of pretense, when you no longer know who you truly are.
When I came home that day, I didn’t plan on sleeping with her. Knowing what I already knew about her, it was a tactical mistake.
A mistake that led to this. I can’t pretend this is a simple case of attraction. I fucking want her.
But she’s a walking red flag. I hoped that having her tailed would give me more tangible proof, and that would finally ease my mind into forgetting about her.
But she’s been spending days at home, in the shelter, or at her friend’s bistro. Her behavior doesn’t match what Mathison found out. She might hide it well, so she gets her stupid trust fund. Fuck.
“You men are such idiots.” Roxy sighs when I don’t answer.
“Maybe your bonus is not safe after all.” I glare, sagging back into my chair.
She laughs. “Okay, boss, I’ll finish my nightcap and let you sleep… I mean, work.” Her grin is as annoying as my current situation.