Page 41 of Saul

“And you have no names?” Chris asked.

He shook his head. “Cops have her as a missing person, but part of the problem is that anything to do with this lifestyle is generally kept very private, which means it could be easier to get away with something like that because the subs are less likely to gossip. I’m having all the other owners I know check in on their subs. Make sure we haven’t missed any others.”

Chris shot me a teasing look. “Do our boys know they just lost their first employee?” I grunted my reply, but Chris still found it way too funny.

I turned and watched Calvin smile at a girl, then almost as if he knew I was watching he turned and met my gaze. I hadn’t been joking when I said I would do everything in my power to keep him safe and happy. There was zero chance any idiot like Steven would ever get their hands on him again.

I hadn’t thought much about the saying,tempting fate.As far as I was concerned you made your own. But it only took one more day to prove how wrong I was.

Chapter nineteen

Calvin

This couldn’t be for real. It wasn’t possible I was going to get everything I’d ever wanted when five months ago I’d given up trying for even a half-relationship. Burying my Little so far down I could cope withoccasional. Half-truths the same as half-needs. Terrified, I would scare Steven away if I let him see the real me, and he’d gone anyway. And I’d put up with his demands for the same reason.

So where did that leave me? If Daddy was going to run, I needed him to do it now, but I hadn’t dared get totally lost in myLittle space yet so he hadn’t seen all of me. I felt like I was on the edge all the time.

And I wanted it so much I could taste it.

I kept sneaking glances at him, having an intense talk with Christopher and the other man. Gideon was scary. I knew he ran some sort of security company and that’s where Daddy had been last week in Ricky’s jungle. I’d known Daddy wanted to come here tonight and if he wanted to go, then I would. Anything. Some part of me also knew an instantaneous agreement wasn’t a good idea, but I buried that along with my doubts. I’d had a nap, which wasn’t me, but Daddy had wrapped his arms around me and almost commanded me to sleep, then he’d woken me so sweetly before making me eat a snack.

No, ahealthysnack. Who knew apple slices dipped in honey were so yummy?

He seemed to have fed me most of the day.

Then he’d dressed me in the new dragon tee he’d bought me along with all the craft supplies. Those supplies were the best gift I’d ever had. Steven once bought me a Calvin Klein long-sleeved dress shirt to go with some pants he wanted me to wear for his Christmas work party. I’d been home from work late anyway because a little girl’s dad wanted to see me about some problems, and he worked long hours. So, I was in trouble for that, and then he expected me to be grateful for clothes he'd bought because he liked them, not me. And we’d fought, and he’d gone on his own.

It would never have occurred to Steven to buy me coloring books, and because everything seemed to be hitting me all at once, I remembered something else, the reason why even when I could, I’d never bought myself anything to color with.

It had been Christmas Day. I was maybe seven? Not that I expected anything because even that young I knew that what seemed to happen to the other kids in my class didn’t happen tome. When Mom had given me a coloring book on Christmas Day, I’d been astonished. It was a little used, but most of the pages weren’t touched and I was so excited. Except she’d forgotten to get me crayons or pencils to color with and because I was so stupid, I’d asked if she had.

And she’d erupted. Mom had kept me home for the first few days after the break so no one saw the bruises, and for the first time I was glad of the bruises so I wouldn’t have to listen to what the other kids got from Santa. It was the first and last time I’d ever opened a coloring book for myself. Except now I had a ton of them, and even ones that you scratched off to reveal the color underneath. And some of the pencils were metallic, which was so cool.

“You look shell-shocked,” Ricky pronounced as we sat down at a table with a million Lego at. I’d have preferred the craft table, but I knew Ricky enjoyed this.

“Have you been here before?”

He smirked. “I have no choice but to let you out of that non-answer until we’re alone, so yes.”

I inhaled, maybe too rapidly, and Ricky clutched my hand. “If it’s wrong, you can come home with me.”

I clung to his hand. “No, I’m worried it’s too right.”

“And it’s all happening so quickly.” Ricky giggled, which I wasn’t expecting, but nodded anyway. “You’ve forgotten what I went through.”

“No, I haven’t.” I said quietly. Ricky had met Chris six months after he turned eighteen in a coffee bar just off campus, and moved in nearly the same weekend. Even for him, that was fast.

“I lied.”

My head came up so fast it was a wonder I didn’t get whiplash. “About what?”

“You remember I’d mostly grown out of my asthma?”

I nodded. Even I’d been surprised when it resurfaced. “It came back because I was drinking. And drinking way too much. All of a sudden, I was an adult and sick of rules, and I missed my dad so much. I met Chris in the middle of an attack.”

I gaped. How did I not know this?

“Chris was at a BDSM open night. The club’s shut now, but I was out to prove something and the poor guy that had me in ropes didn’t know what to do when I had an attack and couldn’t breathe.”

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