Page 31 of Saul

He stopped his flustered fumbling in shock. “Of course.” He winced. “Honestly, I’m not a fan of these type of events, but my daughter needs me.”

I nodded. “Have you considered that a protective presence at home might work instead?”

He frowned. “We haven’t ever needed security. I’m not exactly a millionaire.”

“No, Sir, I mean if your daughter knew she had you to come home to. Her anchor, so to speak.”

“I don’t understand.” He bristled as if I was offending him.

“I imagine your daughter loves you very much,” he said, and Clive Christian flushed.

“It’s been hard since her twin and her mom died in the accident.” I knew from the file there had been a huge car accident when both girls were seven, and both Emily’s mom and her twin sister Erica had died. Clive Christian had been unharmed, but Emily had needed nine operations to mend her spine and legs.

I knew guilt was eating away at her dad because he had been the driver, even though it wasn’t his fault, and his guilt might mean Emily was trying to manage both her own issues and her father’s. I was also sure that people a lot cleverer than I, had already worked this out but here we were. Neither of them was listening.

“What I’m suggesting, Sir, is that you stay here.” Clive Christian looked at me as if I had in fact suggested he eat a bag of worms. “Shake things up a bit?” I added.

And all the fight seemed to leave him. “You think it’s my fault. Others have said that.”

“No, I don’t agree. I think you are an amazing anchor for her, but she needs you at home. She needs to know you aren’t an additional worry for her. Because it will be in her nature to want to protect you.” I paused. “She’s already lost her mom, if she knows you’re here and safe, it may lessen her anxiety.” Or it could make it worse, but I didn’t think at that point they had anything to lose.

He stared at me for a long time. “If you can get her to say yes then I will concede.” He didn’t sound like he had any confidence in the idea, and he was probably right. Who the hell was I to think I knew best?

“Daddy’s not coming?” I’d been shown into a small lounge area that seemed to be part of her rooms. I looked around approvingly, knowing Calvin would like this room. Small and cozy, it had three squishy beanbags in the corner, a little writing desk, and rows and rows of books, and most of them three-inch-thick science ones. I spotted the coloring ones immediately, tucked away at the bottom, but only because I was looking for them, and wondered if Calvin had some.

I gazed at this Little. She wasn’t short like Calvin but looked like she was going to disappear any moment because she was so waif-like. She had this dress on that looked like something May-belle from Rainbow Key would wear and she looked utterly terrified. “No, because he wants to be waiting here for you when you get home.”

“Oh,” she whispered, then cringed as if she was going to get into trouble somehow for uttering that tiny whisper. I thought about Ricky’s conviction that she was a Little, and Calvin’s Tiny, and so, wondering if Emily had the same, I took a chance. “My boyfriend has a favorite stuffy called Tiny,” I lied. Well, the Tiny part wasn’t a lie. It was the boyfriend part I was beginning to think wasn’t ever going to happen. “What about you?” I asked as gently as I could. I must have surprised her because the fact that she actually answered seemed to shock the both of us.

“Marmy,” she whispered.

I nodded and smiled. “Him or her?”

“Her,” she said in complete disbelief. Maybe it was I because I was asking the questions in the first place. Maybe it was because she dared to answer them.

“Can I see her?”

Emily gaped at me like I’d asked her to jump off the Empire State or something. I waited patiently but then she turned and walked through another door. I didn’t follow her because I guessed it was her bedroom, but she was back in a few secondsclutching a well-loved rabbit to her chest. I smiled, but the rabbit was too big to fit into my pocket and the purse she had was tiny.

“And does Marmy have any baby brothers or sisters?”

Emily nodded, shot through the other door again, and came back with a key ring with a tiny pink rabbit fastened to it. “What’s her name?”

“Baby,” Emily whispered.

“Well then,” I said, taking Baby from her and popping it in my pocket. “Baby’s going to stay safe in my pocket, and you’re going to stay safe with me. Whenever we’re sitting down you can cuddle her out of sight and if I have her and you hold onto me, it’s like you’re touching her.” I offered her my elbow and waited. Emily took my arm. I wasn’t sure which one of us was more surprised.

The morning after I had returned a smiling Emily home, I’d spent most of a wakeful night staring at yet another email from Ricky. Did he sleep with his phone? If he was mine, I’d have taken it from him.

And I stilled. Would I? Every instinct in me said yes. No Little of mine would be getting that much screen time. There were still many scientists that hadn’t quashed the possible damage to the brain. I read the email in surprise. Ricky seemed to be wanting my input on interview questions, but surely he had Chris to ask for advice?

I read them and huffed. Every Little was different, and there was no way I would have spanked Emily. That wasn’t my job. I glanced at the bottom of the screen and noted the usual hashtag and thought long and hard about my life.

I knew what I wanted, but more so I knew exactly what Calvin needed. It had been a crazy situation all weekend. If he was mine there was no way I’d have asked him so many dumb questions or let him get away with half the shit he had done. I’d stormed outof there on Sunday like some teenager. No wonder Calvin didn’t trust me enough to pick up the phone. If I was his proper Daddy like I wanted to be…

I looked back at the questions and smiled, then I texted Ricky for an address. I’d do this then I was getting in my truck.

Calvin

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