Page 41 of The Scattered Bones

I come to a small creek, and its clear, blue water sparkles in the sunlight that filters through the leaves. My desire to bathe and drink wars with my need to find him and end this torment. I pause, standing on the bank for long, undecided minutes, but it’s my stench that wins the struggle. The scar on my leg is mostly healed, my arm scabbing from my fight in The Mitte Midagi. I feel inhuman, more beast than girl, so I strip off my clothes. I scrub them in the cool stream and then wash myself. My skin is pink and chilled by the time I’m done, so I sit on the grass in the strips of sunlight, enjoying this rare moment of peace. Perhaps it’s my fear that’s begging me to stall. Maybe I’m afraid of this torture ending. In a matter of days, or maybe even hours, I’ll face The Stranger’s promise. Before the Season of the Thaw comes to a close, I’ll know if this has been for nothing. And even if it wasn’t, even if The Stranger holds true to his vow, I’ll see Kaid for the first time since our doomed wedding. He’ll have been dead seasons, his last memory one of blood and suffering, and I’m no longer the wife he remembers. I am her shell; her withered bones. What if our marriage was only meant to burn for a moment? It was more than I ever expected, but it wasn’t enough. It will never be enough. I’m forgetting him instead of spending my life memorizing him, and I want to drown in that pain. If The Stranger cannot return Kaid to my arms, I worry it’ll hurt worse than his death. Hope is dangerous when left to fester.

I shove those thoughts down as I test my nearly-dry clothes. As tempted as I am to remain in this serene pocket of the realm, I must push forward. I drink from the cool water after I dress, and as I walk along the creek bed, I notice plump berries growing red and inviting on a nearby bush. Recognizing them as edible, I eat my fill without hesitation. I eat until the sweetness is almost sickening, but I don’t mind. It’s been so long since I found food so easily. These green and vibrant woods are a blessing, and that renews my fear. Every place deemed worthy of hiding his bones has been a hell of violence and evil. I’m either mistaken about the call to this northern forest or this is a trap I’ll pay dearly for entering.

I scrub the sticky juice from my fingers and force myself to leave the comfort of the creek. The further into the trees I venture, the more the serenity unnerves me. These woods are too beautiful, too vibrant, too peaceful. The birds chirp, the sun shines, the wind drifts softly. I’m walking into something; I can feel it. There’s no reality where finding his head is this simple. No, Valka wouldn’t have hidden Kaid’s skull with such little thought. I’ve never heard of this nameless forest, and The Stranger has been quiet. This stretch of earth isn’t known for monsters or turmoil, so I have no clue what darkness waits for me. A devil? A beast? The land itself? I prepare for the worst, but when I finally step into the outskirts of a clearing, I realize I wasn’t prepared. Not for this. Not for what stands before me, guarding Kaid’s final scattered bones.

* * *

“No.”I can’t breathe. “No. No.” I can’t stop saying that two-letter word that’s too large on my tongue. It makes sense. Everything makes sense. This is why the gods never stopped me from reclaiming his bones. At first, they assumed the barbarities of the realm would break me, but when I met every challenge with success, I often wondered why they didn’t descend upon me. I told myself it was because without Death, no one governed the afterlife. Even if I found his limbs, they would be nothing but useless flesh in my hands. But I was mistaken. This… this is why they never deemed it necessary to stop me. My survival in the desert and on the cliffs didn’t matter. Nor did my triumph in the jungle or my victory in the Vesi. This was always what awaited me in the end, and I won’t survive this.

“Tell me this isn’t true,” I beg. “Tell me my eyes deceive me.”

“They do not, my child,” The Stranger speaks into my mind, his voice finally present after his long absence.

“Did you know?” I shout. “Did you know his final piece was here?”

“No.” His answer is both the truth and a lie.

“Did you know this was here? In the woods?” I feel dizzy from lack of oxygen, but I can’t calm down. I can’t go in there. I cannot come face to face with the object of my hatred.

The Stranger doesn’t respond.

“Is this why you were absent? Did you leave me without your voice because you knew what I would find?”

Again, he is silent, and I curse him with violence.

I understand why the forest is peaceful, beautiful, welcoming. It wasn’t harboring a great and ancient evil. Its secret is something worse, an enemy I despise, but not an evil recognized by this world. No, the realm sees him as an object of worship and honor. As someone demanding respect. I haven’t stumbled into a monster’s lair or a witch’s hovel. No, I’m standing before a temple. It’s smaller than the ones housed in Szent, but it doesn’t matter. This is a house of prayer. A consecrated holy place. This is the dwelling of a god. His visage is carved in stone at the shrine’s entrance, but even if it wasn’t, I would recognize his acolytes. Their uniforms are burned into my memory, visions I’ll never forget. I understand why Kaid’s head was laid to rest here, for no one, perhaps not even Varas the Great Thief himself, could steal it.

This temple is dedicated to Valka. This is an altar to War, and the god who carved my husband into pieces guards his last resting place.

Fourteen

Ican’t.” I double over, stumbling into the safety of the tree line. “I can’t. Don’t make me.”

I’m no longer in a forest but back in Hreinasta’s inner sanctum, Kaid’s blood bathing my knees as it pools hot on the stone floor. Trees don’t stand before me, but soldiers, cruel and emotionless as they carry his severed body away. The memory I tried so hard to suppress floods to the surface with a vengeance, and I hear Kaid scream in agony. I see the impossibly tall Valka slice him to pieces with a dripping blade. I sense Hreinasta at my back, victorious in my husband’s punishment. The repressed memories are too much. I cannot face Valka again. I cannot relive that day.

I stumble as I pick up my pace, racing blindly through the trees. I’ve been so alone. No family, no parents, no husband, no friends. I’ve endured everything in isolation, and his death rushes back in painful waves, crushing me under its weight.Someone, help me, please. I can’t do this.

“Sellah.” A voice cuts through my fog of panic, but I keep running. “Sellah!” The voice is firmer, closer, deeper, and I slam into a solid wall of muscle. “Breathe, child.”

Strong arms wrap around me, and I collapse against The Stranger’s chest with gut-wrenching sobs. I cry with all the heartbreak I never allow myself to feel, and he holds me tight, his incredibly powerful body hard against my withered one. He whispers compassion into my hair, which only makes me cry harder, and I lean deeper into his embrace. This is the first time The Stranger has touched me other than to save my life. This is the first affection he’s shown me, and in my haze of grief, I realize that, besides Kaid, he’s the only person to hug me since my mother abandoned me to Hreinasta’s control. Before that, she only touched me occasionally, but it never held warmth and tenderness like this, and I cling to his black cloak with shaking fingers. I didn’t realize how badly I needed comfort, and as Kaid’s final moments play on brutal repeat, I listen to the thunder of The Stranger’s heart. I hold him close, and for a few agonizing moments, I wish he was my father. He’s a dark and deadly being, one who might not be human, but I don’t care. I want Kaid back in my arms, and I want this stranger to be my father. I crave a life filled with love. Not the obsession with beauty or prestige, but genuine affection. I never considered it, but as The Stranger holds my convulsing body, I suddenly understand. He cares about me. Truly cares. I wonder if he loves me. I hope he does because I can’t be alone anymore. The loneliness is too oppressive.

It takes a long time for my tears to stop, and even longer for my breathing to steady, but The Stranger clutches me to his chest until I fall still. The sun begins its descent before I finally find the courage to speak.

“The gods never intervened in my search for Kaid’s body because they knew Valka guarded his head. They knew no matter my success or failure, this last leg of my journey would be impossible. War may reside in Szent, but he’s not bound by mortal flesh like Hreinasta. One hint of my presence, and he’ll be here.”

“So, you intend to give up?” The Stranger asks into my hair. His voice is soft, neutral, but I sense the accusation. “All these hardships, all these trials, and you emerged the victor, but now that you’re at the end of your journey, you’ll abandon all hope?”

“This is Valka.” I pull back to look into his pure white eyes. “How can I defeat a deity of violence? Even with Lovec’s blessing, I stand no chance. What is the Hunter to War?”

“You don’t have to meet Valka on his terms.”

I squint at The Stranger.

“Your husband trained you for this very moment, my child.” He cups my cheek gently. “Kaid taught you to steal, to hide, to slip through the darkness unseen. He was a skilled thief, blessed by Varas himself, and he prepared you for this. You need not greet War on the battlefield, only steal from him.”

“Stealing from War is no simple task.”

“Gaining access to Hreinasta’s chosen vessel in her fortified tower should’ve been impossible, yet your husband found a way without fail for a cycle. Surely, he taught you well enough to manage for one night.”

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