Page 13 of The Scattered Bones

“There is cruelty in this world. Cruelty you’ve never seen, but I have. Hatred and death and destruction, but there’s peace too, and I find it with you. You’re the first real friend I’ve had.”

“You are the only friend I’ve ever had.” I crumbled under that confession.

“So, climb with me. Just to the roof.” He beckoned me forward. “I swear on Varas’ holy fire I won’t touch you.”

‘Be brave!’my spirit screamed.Be brave. Be brave. Be brave.I stepped to the window.

“Place your hands and feet where I put mine,” Kaid instructed. “This climb is easy.”

He pulled heavenward, his powerful body scaling the temple walls as if he was made of smoke, not flesh. I ignored the plea in my gut, begging me to return to safety, and followed him. He was all grace while I was a disaster, but his words were true. The ascent was an easy challenge, and within minutes, we stood below the star-studded sky.

Cool air brushed against our limbs. The ice had finally relented, and Sato, Goddess of the Harvest, surrounded us with the slowly thawing breeze. The ground was still bleak, the trees empty, but they hummed with anticipation as she prepared for the oncoming harvest. Earth had died, readying for her rebirth, and that was how I felt standing on that roof next to the towering Kaid. Meeting him had birthed something unfamiliar inside me. I only hoped the harvest would be a blessing and not a curse.

“Did you always want to pledge to Hreinasta?” He asked, breaking the silence.

“My parents promised me to her at my birth and then surrendered me to her protection when I was ten.”

He looked at me in shock. “This wasn’t your decision?”

“Of course it was.” I stepped back, the space a defensive barrier as I detached from my emotions. “It’s a privilege to serve the Pure One. How could I want anything else?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he soothed. “Pledging to the gods is a lifelong commitment. It’s an honor and a sacrifice, and Hreinasta’s priestesses are called to a holier living than most. It’s a lot for a child to be forced into. Most temples refuse children, urging them to wait until adolescence before voicing their intent to pledge when they come of age.”

“I wasn’t forced,” I argued

“So, you’re happy with your calling?” I could tell he didn’t believe me, but he dropped the subject for my sake. “That’s good.”

“Yes,” I said aloud.“No. I want to touch your scarred lip and feel the disfigured flesh beneath my finger,”I screamed silently.

“Is it… Never mind.” He sat down.

“Is it what?” I followed his lead, keeping my distance.

“Is it true that when Hreinasta inhabits a body, the vessel’s soul ceases to exist until she vacates it?”

“They do not cease to exist.”

He heaved a relieved sigh. “Thank Varas.”

“The soul doesn’t disappear but slumbers. Hreinasta doesn’t like other beings sharing her body and mind, so the human spirit retreats within itself until the goddess deems their servitude fulfilled.” I explained, and he looked at me in horror.

“You call it slumber, but in the end, it’s all the same. The women vanish for decades. One day they are, and then next they aren’t.”

“All gods demand sacrifice,” I said. “To serve the primordial requires all of oneself. If Hreinasta demands that of me, then it will be an honor to gift her my body.”

“But she may not choose you.” Hope flushed Kaid’s face. “There are other vessels prepared here.”

I didn’t want to tell him the truth. Anxiety wafted off him, and for the first time in my twenty cycles, I truly considered what submitting to Hreinasta meant. In less than a cycle, I would come of age, and the goddess was merely biding her time as she waited. In a few seasons, I would vanish. I would sleep for decades, experiencing nothing, feeling nothing, and then one day I would resurface in a body too old for my young soul. Hreinasta would abandon me for someone younger and more beautiful, and I would wake up aching and grey. I wouldn’t recognize myself. My raven black hair would be gone. My smooth skin wrinkled, and my joints stiff. I’d never allowed myself to picture the future awaiting me. I was born for this purpose, saved for this goddess. It was all I knew, all I would ever know, but Kaid’s dread leaked into me, poisoning my spirit. For the first time, apprehension seeped into my cracks.

“You’ll always be her priestess, but she may not choose you?” Kaid repeated, and I longed to lie to him. To bring my friend peace and ensure him he wouldn’t lose me.

“She already claimed me,” I said. I had to tell him the truth. It was for the best. Perhaps it would keep him from returning, from tempting me with a life filled with more than emptiness. “When I come of age, Hreinasta will inhabit my body.”

“How old are you?” His voice was so low it was barely audible.

“Twenty.”

He sucked in a sharp breath. “You have one cycle left.”

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