Page 67 of Fatal Bonds

My head lolls,and my neck tenses, snapping upright as I startle awake. It’s been two days since Maks got shot, and he still hasn’t woken up. Slipping my fingers beneath my glasses, I rub the sleep from my aching eyes and sit up in the chair I’ve stationed beside his bed. I don’t want to fall asleep in case he wakes up, though I did sleep beside him for about three hours at some point—just to stay close when I couldn’t keep my eyes open a minute longer.

He’s hooked up to an IV and monitor, and his color looks much better after several infusions. The doc says that he’s stable now, but it was touch-and-go there for a while. Watching the doctor pull the bullet out of Maks’s lung was nothing short of a nightmare. Thankfully, it almost went clean through him—that’s what the doctor said. But I guess Maks’s collarbone stopped it from exiting his body—a good thing because it’s one less piece of evidence investigators will find to pin Emiliano’s death on Maks, but bad for Maks’s clavicle, which was shattered from the impact. The doctor decided to take the bullet out through Maks’s chest, so now he has two holes in him to remind me of what he did.

I’m still having a hard time wrapping my mind around what happened that night. A thick cloud of fear and desperation has left my memories foggy. But I remember with perfect clarity the fact that I was ready to do anything to protect my baby—and when Maks’s arms wrapped around me, I knew without a shadow of doubt that I would be okay.

Taking a deep breath, I stand from the chair to lean over Maks. Combing his dark hair back from his temple, I smile at the hint of silver it uncovers. Rather than looking older, it just makes him seem more distinguished. I can hardly believe our age difference ever felt like a hurdle, when life is so fleeting, it doesn’t matter what age you are. In this life, we’re only allowed the time we’re given, and I want to take whatever time with him I can get.

My heart flutters as I run my fingers down his chiseled face and through the dark stubble that’s grown into a short beard while he’s been asleep. “If you don’t wake up soon, I might just have to take matters into my own hands and give you a shave,” I threaten softly, but I’m not sure I could bring myself to do it. I like the way he looks with a beard—just a hint more rugged and dangerous.

My stomach growls, reminding me that I haven’t eaten in a while. I should probably go get some breakfast—and give Lenka an update on how Maks is doing. But I don’t like leaving him, even for a little bit. Slipping my fingers into his hand, I give his palm a squeeze.

“I’ll be back before you even know I’m gone,” I promise and turn to go.

His fingers tighten around mine, and my pulse quickens. It’s the first indication he’s given that he has any awareness of his surroundings, and I whirl, my heart hammering against my ribs as I look down at him. A slow smile spreads across his lips as his eyes open, and his thumb brushes across the back of my knuckles, sending a shiver up my spine.

“You’re still here,” he rasps, sounding surprised.

A strangled laugh escapes me as tears of relief blur my vision. “Of course I’m still here. I had to know you were okay. Besides, I couldn’t just leave you when you literally took a bullet for me.”

Maks shakes his head, his eyes slipping closed for long enough that I almost think he might have passed back out. But when they open, they’re full of concern. “You don’t owe me anything, Lindsey. I did that for myself.”

“Because getting shot is so much fun?” I tease, but my heart is beating a mile a minute, and it jumps up another notch when the humor leaves his face.

“I couldn’t watch you die. I would rather die myself than live without you.”

The pain in his voice knocks the breath out of me, and I don’t know what to say. All this time, I thought he was pulling away from me because he was ready to move on—that hewantedme to go to New York, because he didn’t want to keep me around—and I thought I was ready for that. IthoughtI agreed with that decision, but so much has changed since the gala.

Maks rocks up onto an elbow so he can face me more directly, his hands tightening around mine. “I’m sorry, Lindsey. I’m so fucking sorry I put you through that—” He cuts off abruptly, his eyes filled with pain as he struggles for words.

“Maks, you’re pushing yourself too hard. The doctor said you need rest,” I insist, trying to steer him back onto his pillows.

He shakes his head and catches my other hand, pulling me down onto the edge of the bed as a rueful smile curls his lips. “You must want to leave now more than ever after seeing just how dangerous it is to be associated with me,” he says dryly.

I hesitate, biting my lip, because even if it might sound crazy, nothing could be further from the truth. Maks studies me with his sharp blue gaze, his eyebrows buckling into an expression of disbelief.

“Lindsey?”

The breath I was holding leaves me in a rush, and my shoulders drop, because I’m so tired of holding back, of pushing him away so it won’t feel like he’s the one who wants me to leave.

With a pained grunt, Maks sits up to peer deep into my eyes. “I know it’s not fair of me to ask, but would you stay in Chicago with me—knowing how dangerous my world is but that I would doanythingto protect you?”

“I guess that depends,” I say, trying to sound calm while my heart is firmly lodged in my throat. “Would you change your mind about wanting a wife?”

Conflict wars across his face, and my stomach sinks as I brace for disappointment, but I can’t stop the tears that sting the backs of my eyes.

“What I want won’t change the fact that being close to me would put you at risk, but I’m done trying to be selfless. If you’ll let me, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in my life for as long as that might be—even if I have to take bullets to keep you safe—because I love you, Lindsey. I love you so fucking much, and I can’t stand the thought of a life without you.”

A single tear escapes my eye, rolling down my cheek, and my heart bursts as Maks reaches up to cup my chin and brush it away with his calloused thumb. There’s something desperate in his eyes, a pleading hope that shatters any chance I might have had of picking the safe choice.

“I want to stay with you,” I breathe. “You’ve proven you’ll do anything for me, that you’ll do anything to protect me. And regardless of how hard I’ve tried not to, I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Maks’s smile washes across my skin like warm sunshine, and he cups my face so tenderly, it makes my chest ache. His eyes flick down to my lips, warning me of the impending kiss, and I’ve never wanted one so badly. But first, I need to tell him everything. If this even has a prayer of working between us, I can’t keep holding onto secrets.

“Maks, wait.” Grasping his palms, I lower them to my lap without letting him go.

Hurt flits across his face, followed by disappointment, but he nods as if he understands what’s coming.

“I have to tell you something,” I whisper, suddenly anxious about how he’s going to react.What if he doesn’t want me once he finds out what I’ve been hiding? What if he doesn’t want the baby?My heart hammers against my ribs, and for a fleeting second, I’m not sure I’m brave enough to tell him. But he needs to know.

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