Page 117 of Beyond Oblivion

He nodded, his grip on my hand tightening. “I need your help. I just… I don’t know how to let go of the things that hurt. I keep replaying everything over and over in my mind. Madison’s betrayal. Thomas and Travis and the secrets I’m not part of. Losing our baby. It’s like I’m stuck in this loop, and I don’t know how to get out.”

“I feel it, too,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I feel the pressure of it all, and sometimes it’s so heavy I can’t breathe. But I also know that if we don’t find a way to move past it, if we don’t say these things out loud because we’re scared it’ll topple our marriage over the edge, it’ll be a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“More like tragedy.” His gaze dropped to the ground, and for a moment, I thought I’d said too much. But then he nodded again, slower this time. “You’re right. We need to speak our fears out loud—not to give them power, but to lay them bare and see what we’re really fighting against: the outcome we’re both so damn scared of. I think I just needed to remember that flaws and all, you still want me. I’ve had constant intrusive thoughts that I don’t deserve you after all this, when up until now, I’ve been a damn good husband.”

“You have been,” I said. “You still are.”

“Even if I fuck up? Even if I fall short?”

“Especially then. We only fuck up when we’re trying.”

He sighed. “That’s just it, though. Somewhere along the way, the shame of it, it made me stop trying to prove to you I’m all in, even though that’s the furthest thing from the truth.”

“You’re here, aren’t you? You haven’t stopped trying.”

We found a patch of shade beneath a lone tree and sank to the ground, the cool earth beneath us a welcome contrast to the scorching desert sun. Sitting there, side by side, felt easier than it had in months.

“Let’s take a year,” I said after a moment, breaking the silence. “No talk of trying again for another baby. No pressure. Let’s just focus on us—on getting back to the couple we were before all of this.”

He looked at me then, something raw and vulnerable in his expression. “A year,” he agreed. “We owe ourselves that. Madison’s no longer a threat, and we can focus on being happy again. That sounds pretty damn perfect to me.”

When we returned to the house, we took a long shower together, the first time we’d been under the same stream of water in over two months, washing away the hurt, dust, and exhaustion. No sex, just pure intimacy, his hands washing suds over every inch my skin, his lips pressing against all his favorite spots on my body. The cool water was a relief, and by the time I stepped out, my body felt lighter. Trenton was already dressed in a plain gray T-shirt and well-worn jeans, his boots scuffed from countless miles, and he flashed me a smile as I passed, the kind that felt unspoken but said everything—comfort, reassurance, and a quiet promise that we were finally back on track.

Thomas and Liis were waiting for us in the kitchen, Thomas leaning against the counter with his arms crossed while Liis tapped something on her phone. “We want to take you to our favorite place in the great metropolis of Gallup, New Mexico, for lunch,” she said, glancing up. “It’s a long drive, but I promise, it’s worth it.”

Thomas smiled. “Earl’s Restaurant. The name might not tickle your dick, but their traditional Navajo dishes are so good they’ll make you rethink everything you thought you knew about flavor.”

“Let’s do it,” Trenton said, watching his brother grab his wallet, phone, and the keys to the SUV.

The drive started off easily, the open desert stretching endlessly on either side of the road. Thomas drove, his hands relaxed on the wheel, wearing a simple navy T-shirt and khaki shorts that made him look more tourist than federal agent. Liis sat in the passenger seat, her gaze fixed on the horizon, dressed in a white, lightweight button-up shirt rolled at the sleeves and pregnancy-friendly skinny black jeans, practical but still effortlessly put together. Trenton and I were in the back, his arm draped casually over my shoulder as we talked about nothing in particular.

“I feel underdressed,” I mentioned, mostly to myself.

“You look beautiful,” Trenton said in my ear, kissing my cheek. I looked down at the fitted olive-green tank top I’d paired with slim-fit black joggers, the kind that hugged my legs just enough to feel a little feminine while still practical for the day ahead. My hiking sneakers were still a bit dusty from our morning walk. “This?” I said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m dressed more for boot camp than a dainty lunch at a bistro.”

“Exactly,” he said with a grin. “Beautiful and badass.”

Forty-five minutes down the highway, Liis shifted in her seat, her eyes narrowing at the side mirror.

“Trent, you see that gorge running just off the highway?” Thomas asked. “That old geezer’s treasure is buried there. When I retire, I’m going to find it.”

“Cool story, bro,” Trenton said. “I always thought you were the level-headed one, but you’re bat shit crazy.”

Thomas laughed until Liis tapped the window once with her fingernail. “We’ve got company.”

I froze, my heart leaping into my throat.

“What?” Trenton asked, straightening up, his voice tinged with disbelief. “Like we’re beingfollowed? Who would be following us out here?”

Thomas didn’t flinch. “Yeah, I’ve been tracking him since the city limits,” he said simply, his gaze steady on the road ahead. “He’s not exactly subtle.”

“You knew?” Trenton’s voice climbed, the edge of panic creeping in. “And you didn’t think to mention it?”

“I was waiting to see what they’d do,” Thomas replied evenly, his calm demeanor both reassuring and unsettling.

I glanced back. The vehicle following us was also a black SUV, unremarkable except for the tint on the windows just dark enough to make it impossible to see the driver. It kept its distance, trailing just far enough behind us to avoid suspicion. The steady pace, never overtaking or falling too far behind, sent a chill through me. It wasn’t some random car on the road—it was deliberate, calculated, and I was irritated with myself for not noticing before.

Liis turned slightly, her hand resting on the door handle. “They’re closing in. We need to make a move before they do.”

---