Page 208 of Sinning for Santa

But they are who they are, and there’s nothing I can do to change them.

Presley smiles, believing my lie, and we hug as Allegra fusses with my train, before Marilda claps her hands to gain our attention.

“Places ladies. Let’s get you married, Jax.”

My heart flutters and it’s almost too overwhelming to feel this much love and happiness after the childhood I experienced. Sometimes I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like I’ll wake up one day and find everything that made me happy gone. Like it was all just a dream.

But that day hasn’t come yet, so I will keep embracing each and every second I get with my family, and hopefully one day, I’ll find myself wondering when the last time was that I wondered when it would all vanish.

Walking from my house, we make our way to the town square, and the cliff front that I got engaged at over four years ago, our presence hidden by tall partitions on the grass, lined with white sheer fabric and twinkling lights, so the guests can’t see us yet.

“Everyone is seated and ready.” Allegra beams after peaking around the partition. “Are you ready?”

Am I?

Yes. I nod easily, smiling at the three women I chose as my bridesmaids, and Jenaveve, Devon’s sister as she approaches us with my two beautiful children.

“I have two very eager children here ready to walk their mummy down the aisle.”

Two big smiles beam up at me from my children’s faces and I hold my hands out.

“Let’s get married then.” I giggle as Izzy jumps in excitement and Harry hurries to my side taking my hand.

I decided to forgo holding a bouquet of flowers. They just seem unimportant compared to the need to hold my two children’s little hands in mine as they walk me down the aisle to their daddy.

A piano starts playing, the tune Devon chose for me to walk down the aisle to. I wasn’t sure what it would be. He wanted to keep it a surprise, but as the tune hits my ears, I become aware of what it is.

One by one, my bridesmaids start their walk down the red carpet laid out for the event.

Allegra goes first, and then Marilda, while Presley stands waiting for her turn, her eyes already tearing up as she takes one last glance at me.

“Love you, sis,” she whispers, and I kiss the air before she starts walking.

Taking some long deep breaths in, I try to keep my tears at bay. I don’t want to be a sobbing mess as I walk to Devon. I want to see everything. Everyone.

I especially want to see my soon to be husband’s face as I approach, and I want to lock that memory away to cherish over all of my days.

The moment Taylor and Alice begin humming, I know it’s time, and I move onto the red carpet, looking down towards Devon whose back is to me.

“Every time our eyes meet,” Taylor starts singing the opening line to Amazed, and I start walking as Devon turns.

He is a hard man. A scary man. A devil many fear. Yet right now, the moment his eyes land on me, walking towards him with his children, his strong facade breaks.

He looks up at the sky briefly, Finn offering him comfort with a hand on his back as he blows out a breath, his dark gaze returning to us as we walk closer.

I need my own moment, looking away from him and glancing down at our beautiful children, my eyes meeting Harry’s mischievous smirks, much like his father’s, before moving to Izzy’s, her eyes warm and she gives my hand a little squeeze like she is silently telling me she’s here for me.

Gosh, how can a four year old be my little rock?

Now a few metres from Dev, I return my eyes to his, to find his smile wide and his gaze glassy, pride written all over his expression.

I know how he feels. This life we have built together is everything.

That’s the moment Harry breaks away from me, closing the distance to run to his daddy, who picks him up immediately, pressing a kiss to his cheek as they both watch me and Izzy as we reach them.

“Hey, beautiful,” Devon says softly as I stand before him, my smile wide as I respond.

“Hey.”