Page 113 of Savage Scream

Deep down I knew what she had planned, but denial was a motherfucking bitch setting me up for nothing but fucking grief.

And fuck. Her sob. It nearly made me blink my eyes open and beg her not to leave. But I couldn’t do that. I can’t ask her to stay if she really wants to go. She has to stay because that’s what she wants, and even after the Kerrs were eliminated, and her brother chose to stay here, I’m not enough for her to want to stay and build a life.

Fuck. My chest hurts. It feels like it’s being sliced open by that big fucking knife she carries.

It’s her whispered words that really fucking broke me, though.

“I will never forget you, Jared Crowley. And my heart will always belong to you.”

I stay there in Dee’s bed, my heart aching and tears streaming from my eyes as I clutch onto her pillow like it’s the last bit of her I have. It smells like her, and I can’t help it. I torture myself for what seems like days, but is merely an hour or so before I drag myself up and get dressed.

I’m a mess as I dress, my hands trembling, my eyes red raw, my heart shattering like Dee just died.

That’s what it feels like, too. Like she died. I remember that pain when my brother was killed. It’s excruciating. Unbearable. Like it might actually kill me, too.

Maybe I should have gone with her? I’ve thought about that before, but the idea of leaving my parents when they have already lost one child is what’s kept me here. Besides, as fucked up as this town seems to be getting, it’s still home. I just wished Dee would have given it more of a chance because it could have been her home, too.

Taking one last look around Dee’s room as the sun rises higher in the sky, filling the space with light, I turn my back on it, hoping to sneak out of the house unannounced.

When I step through the door to the living area, I pull up short, my eyes landing on Cynthia and Will as they read something.

A letter.

When Cynthia glances up, I notice her eyes are red, tears falling from them in rivers, and I know they know too. They know Dee has gone. She must have left them a note.

“Jared,” Cynthia cries, dropping the piece of paper on the benchtop as she makes to move towards me.

I hold up my hand, shaking my head.

“I know she’s gone. I heard her leave,” I say before I can’t say another word, tears choking me.

“She thinks she doesn’t deserve to be here. That she’s to blame for everything bad happening, and that we are all better off without her,” Will states, his voice cracking as he fights his own emotion.

“We have to stop her,” Cynthia cries and I frown.

“How? How can we ever make her want to stay? She’s never going to stop blaming herself.”

“Fight for her.” It’s Rhys’ voice coming from behind me this time, and she steps into the room looking frantic. “Think about it. The only person who ever fought for her was her dad. No one else did. She’s always been the one fighting for everyone else, even when they pushed her away. She knows we care about her. Hell, she knows she wants to stay, but she thinks she can’t burden us with what she brought into our lives. We need to show her that it doesn’t matter. That no matter her past or her flaws, we will always fight for her.”

“You’re right.” Cynthia nods, her worried eyes turning to Will.

Shit.

Fight for her.

Had I fought for her?

Sure, I fought to save her life. I fought off others to protect her, but have I fought for her to stay?

I’ve told her how I feel. Shouldn’t that be enough?

No.

Rhys is right.

She needs more.

She deserves more.

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