Page 42 of Savage Scream

Jared has seen me at my most vulnerable. He hasn’t hurt me. He hasn’t used me. In fact, he seems to want me as much as I want him. So why the hell can I give him every vulnerable part of myself but my voice?

This is what has kept me awake for a long time after Jared fell asleep, our bodies tangled together in the serenity of his bed.

So many times I wanted to wake him and speak to him with my actual voice. But I just couldn’t go through with it. I wanted to tell him my name. Say it out loud instead of writing it in text. I worked myself up to it so many times, and yet I just couldn’t bring myself to wake him and say the word.

So, like a coward, while he slept, I tried something else. Something I figure was a small step toward what I wanted. I cleared my throat and spoke the words to him while he slept.

“My name is Elodie.”

I’m always surprised by how husky my voice is. I don’t remember it being that way when I was little, so I figure it must be because I rarely use it.

I have to use it for my side hustle, and I used it when I called emergency services after the car Jared pushed me out of went over that cliff. And yeah, I whispered a threat to Griffin Marx the other night, but other than that, my voice remains locked tight.

I can hear Jared’s parents awake beyond his bedroom door, and I realise that perhaps I should have bailed before they woke. I’ve been awake for most of the night anyway, so I could have.

The chiming of a phone alarm makes me jump, and Jared shifts under me, groaning and stretching out to turn it off before shifting back to tug me close.

“Good morning Elodie,” he mumbles into my hair, and I stiffen.

What did he just say?

His chuckle rumbles in his chest, and he presses his lips to the top of my head.

“Don’t freak out. I may have heard you, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.” He strokes my hair back off my forehead before tilting my head up to lock eyes with me. “Elodie is a beautiful name, and fuck, your voice is sexy as fuck.”

I roll my eyes and a grin spreads his kissable lips wide.

“I know you didn’t mean for me to hear that. So if you want, I can pretend that I didn’t hear, and you can tell me your name when you’re ready.”

I give him a small nod, knowing that I do want that. I want to tell him and share that moment with him. I’m about to open my mouth to say the words, suddenly feeling ready, but he shifts, rolling out of bed and mumbling something about breakfast.

I don’t want to think about breakfast, or school, or the fact that Cynthia will be realising now that I didn’t come home last night. I don’t want to think about any of it. I just want to tell Jared my name. Face to face. No more fucking fear.

I sit up and move out of his bed, grabbing my clothes and dressing as Jared talks about breakfast options. I don’t really hear him, my mind too consumed.

Tell him Dee. Say the words. Face to face so he can see my lips move, and I can see how he reacts. Just say the fucking words!

“You coming?” he asks with his hand on his door handle as I finish buttoning my shorts.

I shake my head.

Frowning, Jared takes a step away from his door. “Don’t worry about my parents. They will be fine with this.”

I shake my head again, stepping back and sitting my arse on his mattress.

“Dee? They are cool. They won’t make a big deal out of you being here. I promise.” He steps up to the bed, and I reach out and take his hand, tugging him down so he knows I want him to sit too.

“What’s going on?” he asks, sitting next to me, and we angle ourselves towards each other.

I open my mouth to speak, and his brows shoot up.

Then I close my mouth and frown.

Just fucking speak, damn it.

“It’s ok, Dee. You don’t have to. I know I’ve been pressuring you since your first day at school, but that’s because I’m a fucking prick. I probably don’t even deserve to hear your beautiful voice.”

I clear my throat, and he falls silent, his blue gaze shifting from my eyes to my lips.

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