Page 133 of What If I See You

What if he dies?

He had to have been so scared.

And I wasn’t there to protect him.

I wasn’t there with him.

I can’t fix this.

What if he doesn’t wake up?

What if this is the end and I didn’t even get to say goodbye?

“Fucking fuck!” I shout again, but this time, Mom is by my side, wrapping her arms around me.

“Oh, Griffin. He’s going to be okay. We have to believe he’ll be okay.”

“But how do you know, Mom?” I snap at her, my eyes glistening with unshed tears. One look at her tired, worried face and I can’t hold them back. “What if he doesn’t make it, Mom?”

Her own tears match mine as they flow freely down her cheeks. I want to reach out and dry them for her, but my chest fucking hurts and my world is falling in around me.

“We can’t think that way, Griffin.” She shakes her head. “We can’t. All we can do is think positively. You’ve always been the one to tell Gage there’s no room for negative talk and he’s lived by that his whole life. Because you told him that.”

“Yeah, but what if I was lying, Mom?” I finally stand up and pace the floor, my hand on the back of my neck. “What if I’ve lied to him all this time? What if I lied to you?”

“You haven’t, Griffin,” she says, tenderly bringing her hand to my back. “You were right to tell him that. Look at how well he’s done for himself. He’s never lingered on the negative. He focuses on the things he can control and right now that’s all we can do.”

“I have lied to you, Mom.” I turn on her, glancing at Dad next to her. “And you too Dad. I’ve lied to both of you.”

Mom’s brows fold in and she shakes her head in disbelief. “What do you mean, Griffin?”

“Layken, Mom.”

Fuck.

Layken.

I didn’t call her.

She doesn’t know.

I can’t bother her with this now.

There’s nothing she can do.

But God do I wish she was here.

“Where is Layken?” Dad asks, turning his head and glancing around as if she’s going to walk through the door any minute. “Is she driving here?”

“No, she’s not driving here. She’s not coming and I…I didn’t even tell her about Gage. She’s in Miami interviewing for a job. She’s so fucking far away, there’s nothing she can do.”

“Wait. I don’t understand,” Mom says. “Miami?”

“Mom, our marriage…”Fuck.I release a heavy sigh as tremendous guilt washes over me, tears streaming down my face. “I lied to you both and I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Are you trying to tell us you’re not married?” Dad inquires.

Mom adds, “Did you guys have an argument?”

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