Page 2 of With You

“No,” I say, loud and irritated. “No. No. No.”

I rise up off the seat, moving away from her, needing the space. “I don’t even want tothinkabout a life without him.”

“Then don’t,” she says, so simple and matter-of-fact. “Only think about the life you have now. Not what could’ve or would’ve or should’ve.”

Victoria grips the sides of her dress and raises the material up enough that she doesn’t trip on her heels as she makes her way toward me. She stands opposite me and presses her palm to my chest, calming my racing heartbeat. “You and Julian are what are, and that is the only thing that matters.”

Iknowthat, I think to myself. Iknowthat she’s right, and six out of seven days in a week, I pay no mind to those heavy thoughts and I live in the moment. I love and allow myself to be loved, in a way that is beyond anything I could’ve ever dreamed up for myself.

A knock interrupts my wayward thoughts, and as if I needed proof that this man is tethered to me in every way possible,Julian’s head pops through the open doorway, his eyes searching the room for me.

When that chocolate-colored gaze lands on me, the tightness in my chest eases immediately.

“What are you doing in here?” I ask, my eyes taking in the way he effortlessly fits into his tuxedo. “I thought we weren’t supposed to see one another till the ceremony.”

Victoria tries to sneakily slip outside as Julian crosses the threshold and approaches me. But before she disappears, I call out to her.

“Vic.” She glances back at me over her shoulder. “I love you. Thank you.”

“I love you too.” Her gaze darts between Julian and me. “Both of you.”

Curious, Julian’s steps finally close the distance between us.

“What was that about?” he asks as he circles his arms around my neck. Ignoring his question, I press my mouth to his, needing to feel him, needing him to quiet the noise.

“Are you okay?” he murmurs against my lips.

Gripping his hips, I press him into me, needing him closer, needing the kiss to be deeper. As always, I need my body to say the words my mouth never can.

“I am now,” I manage to croak out.

Guiding his hands up to my face, he reluctantly drags his lips away from mine and holds my gaze. “What is it?”

Closing my eyes, I try to hide my thoughts from him, try to stifle the emotion forever threatening to fall down my cheeks. I shake my head. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“I thought after all these years you would know I’ll always worry about you.”

And I do know that. I know that nobody will ever come close to worrying, or caring, or loving me as much as this man does. His thumbs skate over my cheekbones, and I know he’s patientlywaiting for me to look at him. Despite knowing he’ll see right through me, I do what I know he wants and let him see me; every thought, every fear, every flaw.

“I love you,” he says the second our eyes meet.

My breath hitches at his unwavering devotion that, somehow, after all these years, still catches me off guard every single time.

“I love you too,” I reply. “So much.”

“Can you believe we’re getting married today?” he whispers into the empty room. “You and me, husbands.”

His eyes glisten with unshed tears, bright and beautiful, and so very content.

“Husbands,” I whisper back. “Who would’ve thought?”

“Not me.” A soft chuckle leaves his mouth. “But I’ve never been happier. You make me so happy, Deacon.”

“I love you,” I repeat, the three words never enough and yet all encompassing.

In sync, our mouths meet, and all the worry and confusion and hypotheticals from earlier fall to the wayside. The tragic beauty of our love sitting between us, like it always does, as sure and steady as the beats of our hearts, binding us together more than it ever has before.

There’s a reason we don’t have eyes on the backs of our heads, because we can’t look back. We can’t change the past, we can only live in the moment.

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