Page 73 of What We Broke

I don’t wait for permission or approval before storming out of her office. I don’t even give either of them the chance to stop me. When I reach the car, I open the driver’s door only to slam it again.

I do it again.

And again.

And again.

“You’re going to break the door,” Leo says, his voice steady.

“Maybe I want to break it,” I retort petulantly.

“Do you want me to find my own way home?”

Resigned, I shake my head. “Don’t be stupid.”

Wordlessly, I fold myself into the car and wait for Leo to climb in. Before I can start the car, he places his hand on my forearm. “Can we go visit Lola?”

* * *

My hands are shoveddeep in my pockets as I stand at the end of Lola’s grave. It’s such a small space for someone who holds such a large place in our lives. The air’s cold on my skin as the afternoon sun hides behind clouds. I don’t know what Leo wants to do here, but I can’t deny the sense of calmness that’s washed over me.

Surprising me, Leo wraps his arms around my middle. He rests his head in the middle of my back, just below my neck, and I can’t help but cover his arms with mine.

It’s so simple, but it’s also been so long since someone has held me instead of the other way around.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish in my grief. And I—”

“Leo,” I breathe out.

“No,” he says firmly. Dropping his arms, he places a hand on my hip and guides me to turn around and face him. Stepping closer, he absorbs all the distance between us before placing a hand on either side of my face. “No,” he repeats, his eyes boring into mine. “You have to stop excusing my behavior. Especially at the expense of your own feelings. I’m sorry,” he says again, softer, his touch now gentle. “I’m sorry I made you bypass being a grieving father.”

I shake my head as my chest heaves and the tears I’ve held on to for too damn long stream down my face.

No longer the glue, I find myself being held together by arms and legs and low whispers. My head is buried in the curve of his neck as we both fall to the cold grass, crying.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t by your side like the husband I vowed to be,” he says. “Like the husband you’ve been to me.” My shoulders shake as he continues. “I’m so sorry for leaving you to grieve alone.”

The seconds turn into minutes as his hold on me tightens, apology after apology leaving his mouth. Just as I manage to catch my breath, he presses his lips to my temple and whispers, “You lost your daughter too. And I am so, so sorry for your loss.”

CHAPTEREIGHTEEN

then

LEO

Today is the day.

Dragging a bunch of keys out of my pocket, I flip through them all, searching for the one I need. I’ve had Jesse’s house key in my possession for almost a year now, him secretly hoping I would move in, or better yet, agree to marry him.

Sliding the key into the lock, I turn it and push the front door open. As expected, both Zara and Raine are sitting on the couch waiting for me.

“Thank God, you’re finally here.” Raine bounces off the couch and runs to me. She’s a year off becoming a teenager but it seems like she never gets too old to hug me, and I love that.

“Sorry,” I say, “I got held up picking up what I needed from my place and from the store.”

I glance over Raine’s head and catch Zara smiling at the two of us.

“How are you feeling?” she asks.

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