Page 31 of Unwanted

I’ve watched him have moments of extreme positivity and then switch, very quickly, to self-loathing. Unfortunately it’s normal, but not knowing his exact story and all but certain he’s going home to an empty house every night, to sit with his own thoughts, makes me feel all kinds of uneasy.

“Do you want to grab a bite to eat?” I ask him, surprising us both.

His face lights up, and I know I’ve made the right call. “I have a few things I need to finish up here, but I could meet you somewhere in an hour or so.”

“I don’t mind waiting here,” he says. “I can shower and wait.”

“Okay.” I nod. “Sounds like a plan.”

After my morning with Frankie, I had a late start to the day, and an early finish seems like the best way to end it.

Tonight there’s no desire to push myself to the point of exhaustion. The need to rid myself of thoughts of Frankie was no longer plaguing me, instead I’ve been replaying our time together.

The eventual ease between us was like a bandage over the hurt he’d caused me.

It wasn’t ideal, but it was working.

I wasn’t overflowing with pent-up rage and confusion, instead I was now drowning in empathy and emotions, wanting to see him again. Wanting to know how things went with Lennox.

Wanting to know the man he is now.

It was dangerous. I knew that.

But it was the better alternative. It was the alternative that steered me away from the most destruction. Putting the past where it belonged was the safest option for me and for my never-ending journey with recovery.

Just like Rhys, I too shower at the gym, but I have my own bathroom attached to my office, which I often take advantage of.

As I step out of the shower, my phone pings. I quickly dry off, put my clothes on, and reach for it, seeing a message from Clem.

Clem: Hey, want to stop by the hospital for dinner? Everyone is in a good mood. We’re just missing you.

For the first time in forever, I have plans, and her message makes me regret them immediately.

Me: I can’t. I have dinner plans.

Clem: ???

I chuckle to myself. Even she knows that’s an anomaly.

Me: It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, just a client from the gym.

Clem: Can you date clients?

Me: I can’t, which is good, because this isn’t a date.

She sends me multiple eye roll emojis and I choose to ignore her. There’s no need to try and defend myself, because there’s nothing to defend.

Even if what Frankie and I had wasn’t dating, I haven’t thought twice about anyone since him. Rhys is no different.

My phone vibrates in my hand with another message.

Clem: Bring him, then.

Me: My client?

Clem: Yes.

Me: We’ll see.

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