Page 96 of Unforgettable

A beat passes and Oz reaches for the plate, but I put my hand on his forearm, stopping him. “I didn’t come here to eat.”

Slowly, he returns the plate to the table, and I watch his throat bob up and down before he looks at me. “What did you come here for then?”

The words aren’t harsh, but the question manages to hurt anyway.

“I came to apologize,” I answer, letting my eyes dart around the table to each person. “To all of you.” My gaze returns to Oz. “Especially you.”

His silence shreds me to pieces, but I push through, turning to his parents and then moving along to everyone else. “I wanted to say thank you for welcoming me into your home and your family.”

Exhaling, I sit straighter and lay it all on the table, because I don’t want to lose any of these people from my life, not if I don’t have to.

“My parents are in Europe,” I say flatly. “They have been for all of the summer, and I can’t even tell you the last time I spoke to them about anything significant going on in my life. They’re not bad people, by any means,” I say. “They’re just different. Different to the way you all are together. Different to the way you all are with Oz.”

I clear my throat before continuing. “I have a sister and a niece who I love dearly. Being around you all has reminded me of them and makes me miss them all the more. So being a part of your family, for even that short amount of time, meant something to me. You all mean something to me. And I wanted…” I shake my head. “Ineededto apologize for leaving without saying goodbye, for leaving without saying thank you.”

Boldly, under the table, I place a hand over Oz’s thigh, and he turns to me. “I need to apologize for leaving and breaking your heart.”

I watch Oz’s eyes get glassy, and I feel the anxiety course through him as his knee begins to bounce incessantly.

“Can we talk?” I ask him. I offer his family a soft smile before adding, “Alone.”

Oz pushes his chair out, and my hand drops off his leg. Rising to his feet, he heads straight to the backyard and I dutifully follow.

Standing with his hands in his pockets, Oz rocks on his heels, the multitude of emotion in his eyes making his expression almost unreadable.

“You know what I realized when I went back home?” I step toward him and take it as a promising sign when he doesn’t move away. “Being scared is actually a good thing. It means whatever you’re scared about matters. It means it’s important to you. It means you’re scared to lose it.”

I move a little closer. “Never have I ever been as scared of losing something as I was about losing you. I know, I know.” I laugh humorlessly. “It happened anyway. But I was stuck in the past and trying not to make the same mistakes.”

I subtly take in the small changes in Oz, noticing the tension leave his body bit by bit, and continue talking. “I came here trying to be someone I wasn’t, and I tried to harden my heart up for all the wrong reasons and to all the wrong people. To you.

“I know there’s still so much about myself that I need to change.” Before I can continue, I catch Oz shaking his head at me.

“The only thing you need to change is knowing your worth,” he says, walking closer to me. “Knowing the worth of your happiness and your choices.”

Even in his own heartache, this man is still thinking about me. Raising me up and putting me first. It’s the very first thing I noticed about him, the very first thing I fell in love with.

Instead of giving him words that only indicate how much I am trying to do that, I tell him exactly how.

“Never have I ever told my parents I’m not working for them,” I start. His eyes widen, unfiltered pride beaming off him. “Never have I ever had to beg my old boss for my job back.”

“You did?” he blurts out.

“I live here now,” I reply. “I moved back in with Murph.”

“Why would you do that?” he asks cautiously, his voice tinged with hope and fear.

“Giving up the job was for me,” I admit. “So was moving away from home.”

With a loud exhale, I close the gap between us. Resting my hands on his chest, I make sure his eyes never leave mine. “But I chose Vermont because of you.” Oz’s hands cover mine. “Never have I ever loved anyone as much as I love you, Oz. I loved you when you told me you loved me, and I will always regret not saying it back. But I love you so, so much.”

Raising my hands to his lips, Oz spends time kissing every single one of my knuckles. “I missed you so much,” he confesses. “It ached,” he says, bringing our hands back to his heart, pressing them into his chest. “It hurt so much in here, and I never want to feel that again. I never want to be without you again.”

Needing to show him just how much I love him, I fist his shirt and drag him to me, slamming my mouth to his.

Starved for one another, Oz and I kiss like we’re trying to brand each other. And maybe we are: my name on his lips, his taste on my tongue, my heart beating with his.

“I love you,” I whisper in between kisses, sealing my declaration with my mouth, making up for the past and promising a future only we want. We kiss away the heartache and welcome the happiness, living and loving for ourselves, unapologetically.

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