Page 86 of Unforgettable

“Are you at least going to tell Oz?”

For a split, selfish second, I had actually contemplated not telling him I was going back to Connecticut. But I already hated myself for being weak and leaving. I already knew I was breaking both of our hearts, and I didn’t need him to hate me too.

I turn to face Murph. “Of course I’m telling him. I have to go to V and V to finalize some stuff with Harrison and then I’ll tell him.”

“You’re going to break it to him at work?” Murph’s voice is incredulous, and the disappointment in his eyes tells me I’ve fucked this up from all angles.

But I don’t need Murph’s disapproval to know that leaving is a cowardly way out.

“It doesn’t matter where I tell him,” I argue. “The outcome is still going to be the same. Plus, if we’re at work, we can’t kiss or touch, and I can’t be swayed to change my mind.”

“If you were making the right decision, Hotcakes, you wouldn’t be worried that yourmind might change so easily.”

“Fine.” I throw my hands in the air. “So I’m doing it all wrong. Tell me something I don’t know.”

Murph sidles up beside me and leans his head on my shoulder, curling his arm around mine. “You love him,” he says, a lot more gently than I deserve. “You love him and you’re scared, but it doesn’t mean you have to run away.”

“I can’t stay,” I admit helplessly. “I can’t love him and stay and then have it end. I thought I was heartbroken after Micah, but…” I shake my head. “Losing Oz will absolutely kill me.”

“You’re going to lose him anyway.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I ignore his rationale and continue to pack. The quicker I get to V and V, the quicker I can get back home and let myself fall apart.

It’s only been a few days since the wedding, and I have purposefully pushed myself through, going through the motions, talking and texting with Oz when necessary, but I have never felt so raw and ripped open in my entire life.

The weekend was perfect. Ozisperfect. And the sex… and the sex.

What we did wasn’t just sex. What we shared… what Ozgaveto me. It wasn’t just his body, it was his entire being.

And I greedily took it. With both hands, he gave me his heart, and now I was going to throw it all back in his face.

I know I’m in love with him, but I’m just not in a place where I know what to do with that love.

My past has made me so insecure and so unsure. Was I a lot? Were my needs and wants too much? Would he wake up one day and decide he didn’t want this with me anymore, like Micah did?

Even worse, was I going to disappoint my parents, again, for something that wasn’t going to last?

I couldn’t survive that. In fact, I knew I wouldn’t.

This was all too much, too fast, and my head and my heart were spinning. I needed safe, solid ground, and I wouldn’t find that here in Vermont.

Murph leaves me to finish packing all that I possibly can, and when I tell him I’m leaving for V and V, he doesn’t even say goodbye.

When I arrive at V and V, I walk straight to Harrison’s office, not allowing myself to look around or make eye contact with anyone, and thankfully, nobody notices me.

I had already spoken to him on the phone Monday morning, after the wedding. He knew I was coming to tell him I was leaving, and I knew he wasn’t happy.

“So let me get this straight,” Harrison says. “You’re leaving this weekend and you can’t do the rest of your scheduled shifts.”

I cringe, his words making me sound unreliable and inconsiderate, two things I wasn’t. But the risk was too high. Today’s conversation with Oz was going to be hard enough. There was no way I was going to be able to see him every day after.

“I know, and I’m sorry.” I stand up from my chair and pace, nervously. “I could never thank you enough for letting me work here. This place has been my home away from home,” I tell him. “But it’s time, and I justneedto get home.”

My voice cracks, and I see Harrison’s features immediately soften. “You know, Reeve, if there’s anything I can help you with, please just say the word.”

My mouth opens before I get a chance to think his offer through. “Do you think you could send Oz on a break and up here so I can talk to him?”

Harrison nods at me with a soft, sad smile, and I see the puzzle pieces all fitting together for him. His eyes are full of nothing but empathy as he walks out of the room to retrieve Oz.

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