Page 20 of Unforgettable

“It’s my pleasure,” I say honestly. “You know I love being an uncle. The more the merrier.”

I give her a quick kiss on the cheek and then move aside for someone else to ooh and ahh over her.

When we’re all seated back around the table, talk about the wedding and babies ensues and I let myself enjoy the meal and the attention being on everyone else.

“Oz,” my mother says, just as I’m lifting a forkful of salad into my mouth. “A fall wedding is enough time for you to find someone to bring as your date, isn’t it?”

Stunned that somehow my mother still managed to find a way to make this about me, I turn to Dixie and Archer. “Is a date a prerequisite for the wedding?”

The annoyance in my tone is unmissable, and my sister winces. She glances over at my mother and back at me. “Of course not. I just want you to be there because you want to be.”

Swallowing hard, I wait for the sudden lump in my throat to disappear before answering. “The only reason I’d miss your wedding is if I were dead.”

Conversation eventually moves on, past the hurdle of me bringing a date to Dixie’s wedding, and effortlessly drifts on to workplace stories and experiences, which indirectly highlights the difference between me and everybody else at the table even more.

My three sisters and their partners all work in the medical field. It’s both amazing and equally irritating that in one way or another they followed in my parents’ footsteps. While Dixie is the surgeon, Maddy is a psychiatrist, and Kat is a dentist. Sure, there are jokes about which of them are “real” doctors, but all in all, they’re helping the people of our country one way or another, and I'm just working at a bar.

And even though I am very confident in my choice of occupation and don’t feel even the slightest bit of shame, I can’t help but turn into a self-loathing prick whenever I visit.

Objectively I can see the “difference” between them and me. I can understand why my parents want more, and knowing that I’m just as smart and capable of being accepted into almost any medical program across the country, it’s not a mystery to me that my parents are so confused by my decisions.

But medicine isn’t my calling. It never has been, and it never will be.

“How’s work?” It takes me a few long seconds to realize my father’s question is aimed at me.

I know if he doesn’t ask, it looks like he’s not interested, but I also know talking about it is only digging myself into a deeper hole.

“It’s been good,” I answer. “The summer crowd is always crazy, so the place is getting busier and busier every night. Harrison was really onto a winner opening up in Burlington.”

“What do you love so much about that job?” My mother asks the question with nothing but sadness in her voice, and it tips me right over the edge.

Going for honesty, I place down my cutlery, push my plate to the middle of the table, and take a deep breath. “I like that I don’t have to explain myself there. I am who I am and there are no conditions or expectations. There’s no why’s and why nots about my life. I needed a job and I got it. Simple.”

It’s probably the longest sentence I’ve managed to string together all night, but when my mom lowers her chin to her chest looking contrite, I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere.

Both Kat and Maddy squeeze my knees under the table, and something about their alliance to me encourages me to keep talking.

“I know you don’t see it, but I’m trying. I’m trying to be whatever it is you want me to be, but I’m also trying to be true to myself in the process. I’m sorry.” I shrug. “I’m sorry I haven’t figured it out as quickly as everybody else, but please.Please. Can you just let me livemylife?”

“You’re right,” my father says, and those two words knock the wind out of me. “We haven’t been fair to you lately.”

I think back to the night I met Reeve and how keyed up I was at all the words spilled between my father and me. The hopelessness I felt that I would never amount to anything they were proud of and the anger that being me just isn’t enough.

I hate that I craved their approval. Outside these walls, I had confidence like no other. I was impulsive, but it had never steered me wrong. But to my parents, my impulse didn’t steer me anywhere.

“We just want the best for you,” my dad continues. “You are capable of so much, Oz. We just don’t want your abilities to go to waste.”

And just like that, any progress I thought we were making has vanished.

Resigned, I keep my eyes on him and nod. “No worries, Dad. I hear you loud and clear.”

I push my chair back, rising up off my seat. Picking up my plate, I wordlessly take it to the kitchen, get rid of the scraps, rinse it, and place it in the dishwasher.

Struggling to be around anyone over the age of twenty-five, I focus my attention on my niece and nephew.

“Have my little people finished eating?” I shift my gaze to my sister. “Can I take them to the park before the sun goes down and we have dessert?”

Maddy looks around the table and then back at me. “Only if I can come with you.”

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