Page 100 of Devilry

“Yeah,” I say numbly. “Elijah is in one of my Studies in Religion electives. The other guy is his friend. He’s always waiting for him outside of class.”

None of what I’m saying is a lie, yet is feels so impersonal it almost could be. He’s so much more than just a student. Compassionate and complex, he’s everything good that the world needs.

“You get used to seeing students outside of King every now and then,” he continues. “If you have a life outside your house, it’s inevitable.”

A petite waitress with jet black hair walks up to our table, standing directly in front of my view of Elijah, and interrupting Miles. “Are you ready to order?” she asks.

“Yes,” Harper answers, taking the lead. “Could we please get the sashimi combo, the sushi set, and the sashimi appetizer?”

“To share?” the lady clarifies.

“Yes, please.”

“And some saké for the three of us,” Miles adds.

Without another word, the young lady smiles and walks away, just in time for me to catch Elijah standing up from his table and heading toward the restrooms.

Every logical part of me knows I should remain seated. Keep my cool, and have some self-control. But I’m desperate.

I need to see him.

I need to talk to him.

I needhim.

“I’m just going to the bathroom,” I announce.

Throwing the cloth napkin on the table, I push the chair out and stand. With as much restraint as I can muster, I keep my steps even, my gait almost lazy. The complete opposite of how I feel inside.

Once I turn the corner, I’m surprised to see his back against the wall, his head buried in his phone.

“Texting someone?” I ask.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. And Elijah momentarily seems stunned.

“Yeah.”

It takes three long strides for me to back him into the wall, my hands on either side of his head. Looking from left to right, I scope out our surroundings, knowing how dangerous this is, but finding very little reason to care.

I need to be near him. I need to explain myself. I need to make his birthday better.

With nothing but earnest curiosity in his eyes, he looks up at me. “Why are you here?”

“I thought,” I start, but the words catch in my throat. “I thought I could spend your birthday with you.”

He raises an eyebrow, and a humorless laugh leaves my mouth, because I sound ridiculous.

“Not actually with you,” I clarify “But by being near you.” Embarrassed, I drop my head to his shoulder and groan. “It sounded way better in my head. I’m so sorry for ruining your night.”

“You didn’t ruin it.”

I raise my head and meet his eyes. “You looked mortified.”

“I was surprised,” he says defensively. He reaches for my jaw. “When you’re around I can’t focus on anything else. I’ll give us away and I’m not ready…”

To say goodbye.

The unspoken words penetrate my skin, sink into my bones, and turn my blood cold. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, this can’t be the only option for us.