Page 46 of Devilry

Pushing off the chair, I try to walk away from Elijah, but he grabs on to my wrist, effectively stopping me.

“You know that was the first time I’d ever given someone a blow job?”

Pulling out the big guns, he renders me speechless with his admission. I don’t protest or pull away, but I let my gaze roam over him, trying to work out where to go from here.

“And receiving?” I push the words out slowly, knowing the answer, but wanting to hear it all the same.

He swallows hard, guilt and fear filling his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You wouldn’t have touched me.” His voice is pained, his words somewhat true. If he’d been upfront with me, I would’ve used all my strength to walk away from him. Unknowingly, I’ve crossed a line where a lust-filled exchange has now turned into a moment of importance. A moment of significance. And no matter how badly we both want to deny it—this changeseverything.

“Elijah.” I shake my head at him. “We shouldn’t— No,” I say more firmly. “Ishouldn’t have taken it that far.”

He lets go of my wrist. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Put all the blame on yourself.” He straightens his stance, injecting confidence into his argument. “There may be some things I haven’t done in my life, but that doesn’t make me any less responsible formyactions.”

“I had a feeling you were inexperienced,” I say more to myself than him. A wave of shame passes over him, and I take hold of his face, imploring him to look at me. “Elijah,” I breathe out. “Don’t you dare feel embarrassed or ashamed for things you have or haven’t done.”

I mistook his innocence for naivety, not realizing just how guileless he was. He is practically untouched in every way that matters, and that stirs every single protective bone in my body.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“I told you—”

I cut him off with a soft kiss. “I’m not sorry it happened, Elijah. I’m sorry it can’t keep happening.” I press my lips to his again, trying to memorize the feel of them. “I think it’s best if you go.”

He closes his eyes, hiding his most expressive feature. “This is why the note was a good idea,” he says against my lips. Separating our mouths, he takes steps backwards, away from me. “I hope your mom’s okay.”

Picking up his bag, he hangs it over his body and turns his back to me. I call out to him as he places his hand on the door handle.

“Elijah.” He looks at me over his shoulder, resignation consuming him. “Don’t give yourself to anyone too freely.”

My implication is obvious and inappropriate. If he’d never sucked dick before tonight, there’s no way he’s gone any further with somebody else.

“Like you?” he challenges.

It comes out too quickly, my selfish mouth—that can still taste and feel him—running away from me. “Like your friend.”

Without missing a beat, he gives me a two-finger salute. “Have a safe trip, Professor Huxley.”

10

Elijah

Parking myself in a corner booth at King Koffee, I sip on my fourth cup of joe for the day, while frantically trying to lose myself in my studies. It’s been my routine for the last three days. Going to class, trying to avoid Aiden, and simultaneously filling up my brain with so much information I’m too exhausted to think about anything oranyoneelse when I go to sleep at night.

I wish I could say it was working, but my increased caffeine intake says otherwise. The addictive liquid is the only thing keeping me sane. Every night, I toss and turn until I give in to the needs of my traitorous dick and jerk myself off remembering every touch and taste of Cole Huxley.

The only successful part of my days has been making sure I stay out of Aiden’s way. Seeing how we’ve barely run in to each other, it seems there’s a good chance he too isn’t ready to face what happened between us. Or as usual,I’m overthinking it, and he’s just busy.

Either way, I’m drowning in emotions, consumed by the multitude of feelings, and for the first time ever, burying myself in my workload and studying isn’t cutting it.

The sound of a chair scraping against the concrete floor pulls me away from my shitty attempt at reading. Surprised to see Callie sitting in front of me, I grab a stray piece of paper and slip it between the pages before closing it. “Hey.”

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