Page 38 of Devilry

“If we only get now, I want to know as much as I can about you.” His voice is low and steady, his gray eyes piercing through me. “Tell me about the Elijah who exists outside the walls of King University.”

I situate myself a little further back on the desk, feeling a little bit too exposed by his scrutiny. Not only is my physical yearning for him on display, but he’s looking at me like he can seeallmy insecurities, and that’s something I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for.

I shrug nonchalantly, hoping to cover up the raw truth. “There isn’t an Elijah outside of here.”

“No?” He tilts his head to the side. “What about the guy who kissed someone else and felt the need to tell me?” he coaxes.

A loud groan leaves my mouth as I bury my head in my hands, remembering last night, and regretting every bit of it. “I can’t believe I did something so stupid,” I confess.

“Kissing someone is stupid?”

His voice sounds wounded, and I’m worried he thinks I mean kissing him is stupid.

“Last night was stupid,” I clarify.

“Why did you kiss him then?”

“Why do you want to know?” I ask, hating that this is even a conversation we’re having.

“Just tell me,” he insists.

Realizing he’s not going to let me get away with not answering, I concede. “It was my roommate. The guy you asked me about.”

“The guy who’s always waiting for you after my class?” He sits up in his seat, his expression changing from interested to annoyed. “That’s the guy you kissed?”

He’s almost angry as I nod my head in confirmation.

Is he jealous?

“Of course, that’s the guy you kissed,” he says, throwing his hands up in the air. “Not like I can blame him. Someone would have to be blind to not see how attractive you are.”

Now I know he’s definitely jealous, and I feel guilty for loving it.

“So, how did it happen?” he probes.

“You don’t really look like you want details,” I say half jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.

Placing his hands on the top of my thighs, he moves himself closer, looking at me with the utmost sincerity. “I do. I want to know all the details,” he presses, tightening his grip, digging his fingers into my legs. “I want to know whose arms you’ll be running into when you’re no longer in mine.”

My heart trips over itself when he refers to me being in his arms. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

I cover his hands with mine, knowing nothing I say will adequately do this moment justice. We’re stuck. For whatever reason, he wants me, and I want him. But even if every part of me wants to assure him that kissing Aiden would be a poor substitute to how his kisses have made me feel, it would be like rubbing salt into a fresh wound. And I’ve already done that to myself one too many times over losing Alex.

“Whatever you’re imagining,” I say, trying to comfort him. “It’s nothing like that.”

“How do you know what I’m thinking?”

“You’re probably thinking I’m just going to make a habit out of this. Kiss everyone that shows any interest in me,” I explain. “I’m not like that.”

“I don’t think that at all.” He slides his hands from underneath mine and sits them on his lap, my body missing the contact immediately. “If anything, he is someone you should be with. The perfect, safe, and non-risky option.”

Not wanting to hear it any longer, I hop up off the desk and stare down at him. “If this is what you want to spend our time talking about, I think I’m better off going home.”

As soon as the ultimatum registers, his jaw clenches, and I wait to see if he’ll revert to his usual offhanded arrogance. I can tell in any other circumstances, or if I were any other person, he would call my bluff and show me the door.

“What’s it going to be, Cole?” I challenge.

He shocks me by tugging at my belt buckle and pulling me close to him. His large hands take hold of the back of my thighs and his beautiful face looks straight up at me. “I’m irrationally jealous of a fucking teenager,” he spits out. “And I don’t know what the fuck to do with that.”

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