Page 37 of Devilry

“You're not helping.”

“Neither are you. Every time you open your mouth my cock gets even harder.”

“Don't say cock,” he reprimands.

I'm about to say it again when his expression sobers. “What are we going to do, Cole?”

Certain he isn't one to give in to temptation and is the more responsible and restrained one out of the two of us, I tell him to choose. “Whatever you want to do, Elijah, I'll do it.”

Sure he's about to set some new boundaries, or threaten to leave the research project, I brace for the worst, but he surprises me. Knocks the wind right out of me when he steps forward, takes hold of my face, forcing me to concentrate on only him.

“We can never do this again,” he says with a heavy sigh, running his fingers through the scruff of my beard. “But I’m not leaving till you kiss me goodbye.”

8

Elijah

The words are bittersweet, but the action itself even more so. He presses his lips to mine, so much softer than before. Slower. Less greedy. Trying to savor the moment.

The kiss with Aiden—while it’s possibly made my life a little more complicated—has made me realize how much I’ve been sacrificing all these years. How much affection I was missing.

After holing myself up in my room last night, too embarrassed and confused by what I had done, all I could think of was the idea of kissing Cole. In my mind, I was replacing Aiden’s mouth with his.

I’d laid in bed for hours, wanting just one taste, and now that I’ve had it, I don’t know how this will ever be enough.

My body trembles at his tenderness, trying not to read in between the lines. I don’t know all the signs. I don’t know what’s normal, or if this is any different to him than the million other times he’s done it. But for the guy who’s been alone and untouched for so long, this is euphoria.

Pity it all has to end.

His lips keep moving, his tongue keeps on tasting, and my heart keeps beating excitedly inside my chest. It’s in this moment I hate myself for being so rigid with my rules. I hate that I’ve denied myself these small little moments because of my family and the shame and embarrassment they’ve made me feel.

Maybe if I didn’t cocoon myself up all these years and was more of a risk taker, like Alex wanted, I wouldn’t have let myself be tempted by the thought of kissing any guy, or dipping my toes into a forbidden romance with my professor. I wouldn’t feel like the desperation is leaking from my pores, on show, and so obvious for everyone to see.

Hands find my waist and skate down to my ass, pulling me out of my own head and back into the moment. Dragging my own hands down his body, I mirror his actions, hoping to feel his arousal. Just as my hardness grazes against his own, Cole pulls his mouth away.

Before I have the chance to chastise myself, he gives my ass a little squeeze in reassurance. “You’re going to have to tell me when you want me to stop, otherwise I’ll be saying goodbye till the sun comes back up.”

Stunned at his admission, I can feel the blush climb up my neck and settle on my cheeks. His brows furrow in confusion. “What is it?”

“It’s stupid.”

“I still want to hear it,” he presses.

“You have the freedom to kiss anyone, and you’re here, wanting to kiss me.”

He shakes his head in disbelief, but there’s a hint of playfulness twinkling in his eyes as he pushes into me. Our faces are only a breath away from one another when he says,“If I could, I’d do a lot more than just kiss you, Elijah.”

My breath hitches at his implication, and my dick hardens at the thought. I try to shy away and lower my face as the images his words conjure become too much for me to bear.

Fingers take hold of my chin as he tips my head back up to look at him. “I felt how much that turned you on, but I want to know why you find me wanting you so hard to believe.”

Honest answers sit at the tip of my tongue, but I don’t see the point in telling him years of being told you were a pariah makes it hard to believe you’re worth any more than the scum you’re made out to be.

As if he can sense me being swept up in my memories, he reaches for my hand with his free one. “Come with me.”

He leads us away from the door and back further into his office. We walk around his desk. “Sit,” he orders, guiding me to the wooden surface.

He takes his place on his leather chair and then rolls himself closer. Laid back, his legs are wide, one on either side of mine, caging me in, while his eyes trace over every inch of my body. He stops his perusal at my dick, and I feel every nerve ending in my body begin to delight underneath his stare.

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