Page 115 of Devilry

“It’s hardly the same thing. I didn’t have a career I’d spent my life cultivating at stake.”

“Look,” I cut in. “I get that you’re worried for Cole. He and I both have a lot to lose, but being apart isn’t an option for us.” I tell her things I should’ve told Aiden. “This isn’t something fleeting.”

I love him.

“Or something that I can just switch off.”

I can’t see myself not loving him.

“If there wereanyother way out of this, any other way with fewer potential consequences, I would do it in a heartbeat.” Cole squeezes my thigh. “But until that happens, this is the way it’s got to be.”

“And what if someone finds out, and you both lose?” she counters.

Taking the words right out of my mouth, Cole chimes in. “Then Elijah and I will work it out.Together.”

I think he loves me too.

“Fine,” she huffs, raising her hands in the air in surrender. “I’ll back down.Just be careful.”

The conversation officially ends, and somewhat ruins the vibe of the evening. Feeling more angry than hurt, I give Cole a pointed look, and he nods.

With him quick on my heels, we say a hurried and awkward goodnight, and retreat to the privacy of his bedroom.

As soon as he shuts the door, he’s hugging me from behind, burying his face in my neck. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“I didn’t expect her to take it like that.”

“I get it. I didn’t expect Aiden to either.” I turn in his arms and take hold of his face. “Maybe she was upset you didn’t tell her? Either way, I’m not even that mad about it. It means they care, right? We’re stuck in this limbo of what to do and what not to do and there’s no way out of that just yet. So until then, we’ll deal.” My lips gravitate to his, kissing him because I need to feel him, because I want him to feel me. “Regardless of how everyone else feels, we’re still together, right?”

“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”

We stare at each other for the longest time, and I feel those three words down to my bones. I’m irrefutably in love with him.

“Elijah.”

“Yeah?”

“I—”

I slam my mouth to his, stopping him. “Don’t say it yet.”

“What? Why?”

“Because whenwesay those words to each other, I want you to be so deep inside me I can’t tell where you start and I end. So close that it feels like our skin’s melting into each other.” His eyes burn for me and my words, and I wish for the first time this whole weekend that we weren’t here. “And we can’t do that here. So hold it in for a little bit longer, okay?”

He shakes his head with a smile. “I’ll do anything for you.”

* * *

The realizationthat this would be the last time Cole’s family would see him till Christmas changed the tune of our goodbye from tense, to somewhat apologetic. I reiterated to Geena I wasn’t mad and totally understood Meghann’s point of view. But just because I understand her concern for her brother doesn’t mean I agree with her. It doesn’t mean I’ll start forgiving everyone who voices an opinion because they think they know best.

Cole, on the other hand, was mad and remained stoic till the very end. I knew the time between now and Christmas would mend what was broken. They weren’t the type of family who would let each other fall to the wayside, and that warmed my heart with a sense of confidence and compassion that I never had in my own.

Now we’re back in DC and I’m on pins and needles waiting to get back to Cole’s. The sexual tension between us is simmering and almost up to boiling point.

I refused to let Cole touch me at Geena’s place. When I feel his skin on mine, all logic and common sense flies out the window; there’s no way we would’ve had quiet, slow sex. The only option was abstinence, and now I’m harder than a fucking post in the back of an Uber.

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