Page 9 of Rectify

I’ve come so far since then, far enough to have no idea what Leroy and my dad were up to, and far enough to have no idea a woman named Max would call that same, abandoned phone, and turn my life upside down.

* * *

“You know I can take her,” Max says for the tenth time this morning.

“While the offer is nice, I’m her dad, I want to be the one to take her on her first day.” After two weeks of Max and I juggling Lily, the child care centre called with an opening that she could start today. I hate to leave her there. I hate to really leave her anywhere. I still have a mini anxiety attack when I leave her with Max some mornings.

“Do I need to pick her up?” she asks

“No, that’s fine. I’ve got it.”

“I’ll see you in a few hours then?”

Giving her a quick nod, I scoop up a dressed Lily and buckle her up in her car seat. Max hands me Lily’s backpack, and I drop it in front of her before walking around the back of the car and settling in the driver's seat. I hate that this will become a routine that Lily attending school here makes the move feel somewhat permanent.

The drive isn’t too long, but not close enough in case of emergencies. We pull up to the building and my fears are pushed to the side as I take in the nice area and its surroundings. I take a few deep breaths, internally cringing at the basket case I’ve become when it comes to Lily. The panic, the worry; I’m a complete helicopter parent, and I often find myself entertained by how out of character it is for me.

Entering the school, I pull my phone out of my pocket and punch in the code Max sent me to get inside. Heading to what’s known as the junior room, I bump into other parents who look over with curiosity at both Lily and me.

A young woman with long lavender coloured hair walks up to us with a knowing smile on her face. She crouches down, ‘til she’s eye to eye with Lily. “Hey there, I heard you were starting today.”

She rises and offers me her hand. “I’m Holly.”

“Hey, I’m Jay.” My gaze moves down to Lily, and then back up. “This little one’s dad.”

“It’s great to meet you, and we’re so happy to have Lily starting with us.”

“I’m so grateful you could fit us in at such short notice. I saw a sign outside that said there was a waiting list.”

“There is, but the director of this place is a miracle worker. One look at Lily and she insisted on making room.”

“Is she around?” My eyes scan the room for any other adults. “I’d like to thank her personally.”

“No, not yet, but she might be when you pick Lily up.”

“I’m sure I’ll eventually bump into her.”

“Okay.” Holly claps excitedly. “Let me give you a quick rundown of what you need to do at drop-offs and pickups, and then you’ll be free to go.”

I follow her with Lily in tow as she shows me where to store her backpack, her water bottle and where to find the sign-in and out book. She informs me of an app that I can download on my phone, where they post updates with announcements, photos from the day, and anything else they think parents will want to know about their kids.

She hands me a business card with the app name, and all the contact numbers and emails I may ever need printed clearly on it. I fold it up without looking at it and walk Lily over to the group of kids sitting on the playmat, listening to the teacher reading them a book.

“Daddy’s going to go now, okay baby?”

She nods, but her bottom lip hints at the slightest quiver. My chest tightens and I look up at Holly who is watching us. My eyes must show how much it pains me to leave her, because in the same instance, Holly sits down on the floor, legs crossed, her arms gently pulling Lily into her lap. “Daddy will be back soon, okay?” She talks to the top of her head. “We’re going to have so much fun, reading books and painting. There’s even going to be food and lots of yummy snacks.”

Lily and I smiled at each other as Holly’s words registered. “Give Daddy a kiss, and I’ll see you later, okay Lilypad?”

I lean down, and she places her little pursed lips on my cheek. “Bye, Daddy.”

Glancing at Holly, I nod in gratitude. “See you later.”

* * *

Driving into the hospital car park, I circle each level, with the hope that today won't be the day half of my visiting time is spent in this concrete abyss. It’s both amazing and sad how many people are in hospital or visiting someone on any given day. A fact that never crossed my mind until I had to come here every second day.

After twenty minutes of searching, I find my oasis and turn my car into the lucrative spot right next to an elevator.

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